When life is hectic and people are dumping too much on you, and you’re not getting enough sleep, you just want to escape or at least get your hair done, but there is not enough time…..What can you do?! Short of pharmaceuticals, that is, which are wrought with their own problems… I have to try a “cocktail” of strategies to keep myself from cracking. Here is my recent mixture:
* I am strengthened by biblical scripture and have tried to get closer to this since the beginning of the Lenten season. I believe my pastor discussed this scripture at the beginning of Lent, and it is a staple of my spiritual diet lately.
Matthew 19:26: “But Jesus beheld [them], and said unto them, With men [it is] impossible, but not with God: for with God all things are possible.”
I have lived through parenting a teenager and being faced with realities I did not want to be a part of. He has been in the E.R three times in his life due to his playing with danger, and I prayed furiously, fighting the worry. Yet, here he is. After wavering and wallowing over his confusion after high school, when it seemed impossible to motivate him, he is taking a test today that will determine if he can get into trade school. It involves some Algebra, and yes, I want to worry, but instead I’ll write my blog entry, which is actually a sort of prayer. I am going to have faith, even if things don’t turn out the way I want, that things will work out just fine.
*I am rewarded when I look to Literature for an escape. It is fairly inexpensive, and there is no hangover. To believe in impossible things, one must be an optimist, and may even be a scientist. I am probably a dreamer. But guess what, someone has to dream up the ideas in the first place! And it nourishes my soul. From Lewis Carroll’s Through the Looking Glass:
Alice laughed: “There’s no use trying,” she said; “one can’t believe impossible things.”
“I daresay you haven’t had much practice,” said the Queen. “When I was younger, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”
I had abandoned this book long ago, because it seemed so out there, it just lost me. Well, it must be just what I need right now, because it is sticking to me like a well-balanced meal sticks to your sides. I lick my lips in delight like a full Cheshire Cat after reading a chapter of this outrageous masterpiece of wordplay and riddles. It’s the escape I needed from worry over my son who is a grown-up now, and over my job where I sometimes feel I am given an impossible task, where what I do is never enough. But guess what, I am doing fine and I need to remember that.
*Music. It relaxes me, it awakens me, it pumps me up, and helps me forget the little nit-picky things that can really bother me. I especially need it when driving in traffic to get to work in the morning. Case in point, horrible traffic on the way to work yesterday. I was playing Coldplay’s “A Rush of Blood to the Head.” Just the right song makes me not care that I am getting to work later than I had hoped (For Pete’s sake I am always there before my contract time anyhow)! So, I sat in a line of cars at the light yesterday jamming to Coldplay’s Politik, enthralled in the notes that went higher and higher, trying to sing with the notes (I was singing “eyes” in every note up the ladder while Chris Martin was holding and breathing through that word….Eyyyyyyessssssssssssssssssss). I hope I looked as crazy to those around me as I felt, since I truly did not care what they thought.
*It has been too long since I had a true vacation, and I am feeling that one will be in order pretty soon. Therefore, my photo with this entry is of another time, in another place, when I was on vacation with family, including my nine year old son who was amazed at the beauty of the mountainside he had never seen before. It was a place where you think of the silence or the birds singing around you, and what beautiful wonders are just ahead as you make your way through the trees or up the hill. That is the best. Those memories also help me to hang on, but they are certainly helped along by prayer, song, and a steady diet of just the right reading at the right moment.
So, I sit here after dropping my son off early for his test, knowing he just wanted to get out of the car and away from my questions or reminders. I know how my worry bothers him; I dealt with the same thing from my mother. I am working on it, as I know it is to my physical detriment, in other words, not very good for my health. Heck, my worry bothers me too. But I have sent out my prayers for things to work out, and for him to never give up, which I hope he has learned from me. Now I think I can fill my mind with something else. It is a beautiful day, and there is still more to read about Alice!