Weekend Coffee Share, Finding Light in the Dark

Welcome to my Weekend Coffee Share, hosted by Natalie the Explorer. It’s a beautiful morning, birds are singing, and I’m enjoying my breakfast with Zen green tea. It has a little bit of caffeine, so we’re all good!

If we were having a coffee chat today, I’d tell you that my school year with the students ended yesterday. It was a busy week with events but slow on the teaching requirements. I just had to make sure my grades were finalized, and I did. Class time was comprised mostly of word games and helpers cleaning out my cabinets. Some students are very kinesthetic and like to be doing things with their hands, others loved playing multiple games of Scrabble. I enjoyed teaching them strategies! Attendance dropped off after Tuesday, though.

Tuesday was the day of the school shooting in Texas. I heard nothing of it during the school day, as we were preparing at school for the 6th and 7th grade dance. I chaperoned at the dance and enjoyed watching the kids have fun while I had to admonish some now and then for running around or trying to play tag, you’re it. Some set up a Conga line/ train and made their way around the auditorium with smiles on their faces. Others got down and boogied. It was fun to watch and definitely a little bit of sensory overload that tired me out by the end of the day. After school, I attended Taco Tuesday with some teacher friends to let off some steam, and I was certainly tired when I got home.

I have many thoughts about the shooting, but I mostly am full of emotion and sorry that our kids have to grow up in a world like this. Children were searched when they got to school Wednesday morning. Backpacks were banned for the last three days of school (as they should be). Many kids were absent through the rest of the week, but I enjoyed my time with those who attended while explaining the stricter rules to them and why the current state of our nation/world requires them. I was pleased to see some 8th grade students I had taught years prior who showed me all of their awards they received at the ceremony. Some of them said goodbye on the last day and I let them take my picture in the hallway. So many mixed emotions on that day, as always. Also, a sense of relief. 🙂

I just want to say that our children deserve a better world. We also need more mental health services in our schools. Yes, they are beefing up security, but let’s curtail the problem at it’s root. Then, let’s fix our society so that our nation values children more than the bottom line. It may not happen in my lifetime. Maybe my only purpose is to let every child have a sense of belonging.

Good morning!

In other news this week, I suspect my dog, Bixby has PTSD, faltering eyesight, or slight dementia. He is getting very cranky at night if I try to pet him while he’s lying down, and he starts growling if I use that high-pitched voice that normally brings him running. Then he looks at me like he doesn’t know me. This happens most in my mom’s bedroom, so maybe the lighting is too dim and he’s tired. Maybe there is something wrong. He’s between 10 and 11 years old but was already scarred when we got him at age 3. Regardless, he has been a beacon of hope for the happiness and reduction of stress for everyone in my household!

My mom took Bixby for a haircut yesterday, and he doesn’t snap at the groomer, nor does he snap at his vet. He is only taken there during the day, though. This snapping that he does started maybe 2 years ago, which makes me think it is state of mind or PTSD from a nighttime event. He always hated fireworks. Not to mention his near-death experience last weekend. I wrote about it here: https://pamelascanepa.wordpress.com/2022/05/22/bixby-the-wonder-dog/

There is a slight mark where he lost some fur, but there is no wound. It’s less noticeable with his haircut, and thank God he had that fur during the incident!

Bixby had all kinds of fears when we got him and a chip on his shoulder, but he loved us when we showed him love, and he still does. This morning, he hopped on my bed early and stayed at my feet to let me sleep in, then woke me at 7:20 to let him out. He stretched when I stretched and allowed me to pet him while he wagged his tail lovingly. I know my dog’s heart is still good. I feel this is beyond dog-training and requires understanding, if nothing other than giving him space when it’s dark out. He’s a small dog. I haven’t had him around other dogs at the park in a while and plan to try this summer. And, yes, another dog training class in the near future may be needed. He is family, and family members give each other understanding.

It’s daylight, and the ghosts are gone.

So, I’m thankful he is clearheaded and more like himself this morning. I think I will take him for an extended walk. It’s my birthday weekend, so there are two good dinners planned, time with my sweetie, and a massage scheduled tomorrow. Only good things are in store this weekend! Maybe I’ll do a post like a couple of years ago on inventions a woman my age would really like to see! Maybe a posture support tank top with internal cooling fans? Underwire-free!

But I jest …or do I? 🙂

So, I have a stressful job and a crazy dog, but dealing with crazy has been my life story. You just don’t know; I seem destined for that. It doesn’t depress me anymore. I now know when to be patient and when to exercise my boundaries.

I hope you all have a joyous weekend, and a great week to follow. I’m counting this as the start of my summer!


Author: PamelaS.Canepa, Writing and Living

I am a writer who also teaches reading and writing, currently. In 2016, I self-published an e-book and its sequel, and I am learning the art of self-promotion. I published a full-length time travel novel as of 6/16/17 and its sequel in the summer of 2018. Life is a trip, and writing is the best escape for me! Learn about my award-winning sci-fi novel, Detours in Time, on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0711ZW6XF Visit me at https://about.me/pamela.schloessercanepa

12 thoughts on “Weekend Coffee Share, Finding Light in the Dark”

  1. Hi Pam,
    Whenever we have a school shooting (esp. when our media turn it into a circus of hatred against legal gun owners like me, who have never shot or had any problem with our guns) I always think about the teachers I know who are stuck in the middle of some of the most nasty politics and media frenzies known. I watch, without a real voice, as our teachers suffer.

    Every time, I try to rethink what an answer might be. New gun laws make no sense when our government won’t enforce those already in place and taking guns away from good people only insures that the bad people will be left alone with guns – yet so many somehow still think disarming someone who might help is going to stop someone who intends such evil. . . It’s frustrating to watch.

    So, I’ve been thinking about it too. You know your school board better than I ever could, but, like so many they would never consider actually putting off duty cops or even retired military vets in our schools as people we trust, to protect our children who would be visibly present and able to fire back at an evil shooter. Anyone who has studied the matter agrees. If it is known that armed guards are protecting a certain school – the attackers know and will go elsewhere if they still have any interest in committing such crimes.

    So – there’s this answer, right before everyone. No one would ask Pam to strap on a holster and defend her classroom if needed, but this option – even the discussion is censored from all public consideration. So – it must not be answers that are desired. So what is the agenda here? How is it that even the sight of a gun in the hands of someone trained to use it who has pledged themselves to protecting others is not being considered? This just doesn’t make sense. . .

    Anyway – that was way more words than I wanted to subject you to.
    I now think that part of the answer is to stop public school funding (mostly) and open up this market to private concerns who could make their own decisions about how to protect our kids without the political agenda that has kept this problem in place for longer than I care to think of.

    Yuck – I really need to stop writing.
    Give Bixby a good scratch for me.
    I do think he is something of a wonder dog.

    Do stay safe. You are in a tough situation but have a huge heart for the kids.
    You are an amazing resource for the good things our society is capable of.



    1. Our state was trying to put an act into effect that would would have coaches and other non-teaching staff carrying a gun, but those people did not want to put their life on the line. I believe it would help to ban certain’types’ of weapons or require more stringent background checks that could weed out someone wanting to use it hurriedly during a mental health crisis. Apparently, a mental health crisis was at play here. States still haven’t invested more money to put more counselors in schools, but they certainly need to. It does need to come to a matter that we can all vote on, because the freedom of school children is terribly infringed on when they must attend school in fear.


  2. Thank you Pam for your weekend coffee share. I’m glad you had a good wrap-up of another school year and Bixby is more like himself again. Have a wonderful birthday weekend and enjoy your summer break!


  3. Another school year come and gone. What an awful way to end this one, though! Sounds like your students handled it well, but still, I totally understand the drop off in attendance after that event!
    I do not know what is wrong with our country that we seem to accept one school shooting after another. I think your statement is very astute – it is more about profits than rights. Ugh, I will stop before I go political on you. Still it is awful that we see it so often, and with such young kids!
    I am sorry Bixby has been so odd at night. We had a shih tzu that was a rescue that was really odd at night as well. We have a term, “goign shih tzu”, which is kind of like “going postal”. In the middle of the night she would often wake up, growl and bite the nearest being for no reason. 95% of the time our Boxer, Elliot (at that time) would take the brunt of it, but I was bitten several times, usually drawing blood. I’m glad Bixby is clearer headed in the morning.
    Hope your weekend is goign well. I’m sure you still have work for at least a few more days, but enjoy your summer break! Oh, wait, did you say “birthday weekend”? Happy birthday!


  4. Such a tough spot when it comes to everything happening in our world…I don’t feel like it’s just one thing either, and therefore not one solution…I don’t know if peopel will ever be able to sit at a table, put their agendas aside and look at it from all angles.
    So sorry about Bixby. That’s hard when they get older. My inlaws went through some of that with their aging dog.


  5. I think what I find crazy is that Robb Elementary School already had armed security. I know there were people who were proponents of armed security, but when they fail to do their job, proponents are left quiet and perhaps…baffled? There definitely needs to be several layers of policies in place to place more mental health interventions, don’t sell guns to people with mental illness, etc. — not just one policy acting as this one magic pill.


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