Weekend Coffee Share. An Insomniac’s Diary/ Slice of life

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Welcome to my Weekend Coffee Share, hosted by Antoinette T. You can find her site and Weekend Coffee Share at https://antoinettetrugliomartin.com/2019/12/06/tis-the-season/  **It is half a cup of hazelnut coffee for me, and whatever you would like as I share my partial sleep/lack of sleep diary for the week.   It’s not as funny as Bridget Jones’ diary, but I think I am just as honest, so there’s that.  🙂  I am hoping some of you may have similar experiences.  Truly, there were several things competing for the heaviest weight on my mind this week.  My physical health and my quality of sleep are two of those things.  I’ve been sharing a lot on Facebook about it, partly because I know a few people who at times will post that they can’t sleep or can’t believe they are up at 4 a.m. and can’t get to sleep again.  I have found one or two friends who will chat with me on Messenger when I can’t sleep.  It helps to know you are not the only one with insomnia.

Why is this happening, though? I started physical therapy 8 days ago, and I have leg exercises to do morning and night.  The first two days I was so energized and waking up early.  However, I suspect I should do the night exercises earlier, maybe before dinner.  It will just take some shuffling of my schedule, and I am vowing to bring less work home.  The sad news of a friend’s passing was also something I had to mentally process.  May he rest in peace.

The week in a nutshell:

12/02: Woke up at 4:30 a.m.  Maybe it was the recent news of a dear friend/co-worker losing his battle with cancer.   This is such a big loss for my school and the community.  Maybe it was also partly a change of energy due to having started physical therapy this past week.  My mind was definitely a bit too busy after I woke and tossed/turned from sciatica ( a frequent occurrence).  FB post reads:  Insomniac thoughts: Nothing to see here, my brain is just rattling its cage. #overthinkersareus  

12/03: From my post:  I slept in until 5:23, I have a busy brain and a full cup of coffee, and this student artwork ( blue and pink origami bird) waits for me at my work computer. Started PT for the back and it’s going well. Should be working on the shoulder in the next few weeks. I feel stronger. It’s worth the investment, and I’m trying to work on my mindset. My body must keep up with my brain or they’ll ruin each other. I think my energy level is better, but yesterday was rough due to emotions and lack of sleep.

12/04:  Woke up at about 4:30 a.m. again.  Sciatica.  My doctor and I will discuss this tomorrow.  Scoured Facebook for something to lighten my thoughts and make me laugh.  Posted a funny meme of a rebellious woman not heeding her boyfriend’s command to ‘not drink the whole bottle of wine and act retarded.‘ She sports cut-off denim shorts, an empty wine glass, and Batman cape and mask.  Good for her!  I hope her boyfriend crawled away in shock and shame that he can’t handle this free-spirited girl.  I checked, and my boyfriend totally would not stop me if I wanted to do this. 🙂

12/05- Did not post about my sleep, but I think I slept through the night, so tired.  I did post about my friend who passed, as his visitation was going to be that evening.  Spoke to my doctor in the afternoon appointment about my sleep issues and leg pain.  He agrees the PT is the best thing, staying active is the best thing for arthritis and recurring pain.   For now, I am going to try melatonin at night.  I just spilled out all about my friend’s passing and the many things in the last three years that could have caused my pain: emotional family events, a car accident in ’16 that set off my nerves.  This is good.

12/06- I don’t think I got any actual sleep Thursday night.  My legs and sciatica were bugging me and I could not find my sciatic magnet therapy cuff.  It was cold in the air but I knew I couldn’t make it too hot in the house.  That, and I’d had the PT and a doctor’s appointment in the afternoon, lots to think about after the Dr. appt., and the PT included new exercises for the hips, which are pretty unbalanced, by the way (so I’m not used to the hip work that was introduced I probably really need it though).  The visitation for my friend occurred Thursday evening.  I got to meet his family, tell them why he was important to me.  There were so many co-workers I hadn’t seen in years except maybe Facebook, and we did some catching up and laughing about the best memories we have of Ron.  He was loved by so many.  The next morning’s post was me giving myself a pep-talk:

Ah, morning. Despite my lack of sleep, I will make the best of today! I plan to appreciate the students who like to give me hugs, the girls who are writing their paranormal version of the story I’m teaching them, the kids who just started Scholar Bowl and were so excited to tell me about it, and the awesome co-workers I get to work with. From brave new teachers who teach despite horrible news and opinions of teachers these days, to seasoned teachers who keep coming back due to their unstoppable warrior spirit that is, above all, fueled by love for their fellow man and hope for a better future. Life is good!

Sunrise524403_3714407267762_133138129_n Sunrise of hope.

I have been working through this.  I am not the kind who stays home to deal with my emotions.  The lack of sleep didn’t stop me, I liked being around the energy of middle schoolers.  My boss spoke to me early in the week and seemed very understanding of the processes I’m going through.  I’m still pushing through the PT and I know that my mental state is always the best when I feel strong physically, and my physical state is affected if I allow myself to become a bundle of nerves.  One of my relief mechanisms, writing, will not work if sitting in the computer for too long causes me back pain, which it does despite buying a special cushion for the sits bones.  By the way,I mentioned melatonin.  I started that Friday night.  Of course, I was so super tired.  I did my leg exercises from 7:30 to 8, and I fell asleep shortly after the dog-walking right after 10 o’clock.  So melatonin might have helped. I will be repeating and observing its effectiveness.

If you have read all of this, thank you for the patience.  I feel self-centered, but it has helped for me to get the events all together and the possible triggers/antecedents.  Perhaps some of you have been through some of these things? Please share if you are comfortable doing so.  I actually hope my Insomniac’s Diary does not go on a long time, I do not really want enough material for a whole book. 🙂

That was my week.  How was yours?

 

 

 

Enchanted. #RDP #wordoftheday

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Enchanted, (c) 2019 by Pamela Schloesser Canepa

It seems infused with spirit,

this place.

It is not cold or dead

or alone.

In the absence of the light,

can you hear the whispers?

In the silence of winter,

Can you feel the warmth?

The footprints others leave

on our heart.

We are surrounded,

ever changing inside

always choosing

to let in the light

or the dark.

To which do open your heart?

 

*Written in response to the daily word prompt at Rag Tag Community Daily Prompt

 

Weekend Coffee Share, The Mentors

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Welcome to my Weekend Coffee Share. Please fasten your seatbelt, it’s going to be an emotional roller coaster ride as I will stop to acknowledge those who take their time to help our young people. Thank you in advance for joining me.

While I sit waiting for a pedicure at a busy nail shop, I wonder what good it was to make an appointment for 10 minutes ago. How do women handle sitting tbrough a pedi and then a mani, too? Do they know I’d rather be writing? Sorry for the gripe; I am rescued by the WordPress app on my phone! So, I’ll spill my thoughts to you.

I am happy and sad. Happy that people are downloading and listening to my audiobooks! On my WP home page there is a link to them and all I’ve written. I’m happy I had a nice holiday with my son and my boyfriend. Happy my son could attend an art show with me last night at a Wine Bar. The artist was my friend, and I encouraged my son to try and be social. We had a burger first, and he had a beer, which gets him talking, to me at least. 🙂 He is in a good place and loves his job.

I’m sad because, over the last two weeks, two great men lost their lives to battles with cancer. One had served an example for my son in community service at our church, and the other I’d known 19-20 years as a co-worker. He’d helped my son with Math, been a good listener as a co-worker, gave great parenting advice, and helped countless other kids. I feel grief but also gratitude for his presence in our lives. God put these people here for a reason. It’s sad to form the words you wish you’d spoken while they were living, I’m working on a poem in honor of these great mentors and friends, not the first we’ve lost, but very important.

Poetry, The Mentor, (c) 2019, Pamela Schloesser Canepa

What do you do when your mentors have all passed?

The last just left your life…

Do you become a sad shell of what you once were?

Do you strike out in anger, that life is so unfair?

Or do you rise up and recall all you’ve been taught?

Do you remember, and in remembering, wish you could say thank you?

See the many ways that you can say thanks, long after the great ones have left you.

Live your life in remembrance of all you have been taught.

It’s not easy, but your life is your ‘thank you.’

Live it well.

Shout to overcome the void, lest the void might overtake you.

This is how I deal with the negative feelings I’ve held in so long. My shout may be touching, it may be ugly at times, but I seek good health and have suffered the affects of holding in anger, grief, worry, fear much of my life. I believe this habit can be retrained. Thank you for joining me, maybe it was kind of weird…How was your week?

Weekend Coffee Share, Unwind.

Welcome to my Weekend Coffee Share, hosted by Allison at http://eclecticali.wordpress.com and observed by bloggers all over the world! My dog is my source of stress relief today. School has been terribly busy this week, and the pre-holiday ants-in-the-pants syndrome is widespread in middle schoolers. I was running on a large cup of hazelnut coffee and Advil yesterday.

Today, I’m really taking it slow. I need that, sometimes. Mind you, I love my job, because I am teaching a novel I love, by Walter Dean Myers. I’ve made connections with my students by discussing things I have in common with Myers, things that go beneath the surface.

I’ve also been sharing about things that I have written, like this book, From Bedlam to Ben, something I have been proofing before I get it into paperback, even though it was published for Kindle 3 years ago.

As I’ve probably already mentioned, Undercurrents in Time is now in audio, and it seems to be doing well!

I almost have no energy to deal with writerly things today, though.

I’m writing this on my phone while I’m couching it with my dog. He sort of accompanied me as I exercised on the porch this morning.

He also was glad to sit outside with me for 15 minutes in the sunshine on this 78 degree day. You’ve gotta love the Southeast! I really needed some lazy time with my dog! Now, I think I’ll go read a book.

Yes, it just may be a tearjerker, and I really don’t mind.

Have a great weekend, my friends!

Weekend Coffee Share, I Can Do This!

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Welcome to my Weekend Coffee Share, hosted by Allison at Eclectic Alli

I am parceled out in thirty minute increments this morning, that is, if I want to get in  my thirty minute exercise. I’ve got to get to Physical therapy for my shoulder.  After which, I have time to get to the salon and get a hair trim.  Then, there is a lunch date with an old friend who used to teach with me.  I’ll give myself more time for that, because there are no appointments afterward. I am hoping my afternoon will just stretch out before me, and I won’t have to hurry anymore.  So many things to go and see this time of year though!

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Last night, I took part in an induction ceremony for the National Junior Honor Society new members.  This is a club honoring excellence in its middle school members which has high standards for GPA, conduct, and community service.  It is a pleasure to honor such students and to work with them throughout the year!  This is a worthwhile use of my time after the teaching day, and I get to help these kids find community service projects while I benefit from renewed hope for our future.

On the author front, I am pleased to announce that Undercurrents in Time is now available in audio!  If you have read Detours in Time and might like to listen to the sequel and drop an honest review, try this US code: 72T6RQW85286E to download at https://audible.com/acx-promo or this UK code: 3GCCE5TS9MPQH to download at https://audible.co.uk/acx-promo

I know I have only shared one code each, so it is first come first serve.  I also will share codes in the Facebook group Audio Book Boom tomorrow if you’d like to listen and review but have found that the codes are already used.  Happy listening!

20191026_133638_00001035900339109106841.png It’s now live!

Now, I must take a break to go to physical therapy!

*******

Okay, I’m back.  PT was frustrating.  The physical therapist was lovely, a nice, sweet guy, but he said the order was for PT for my back, yet I feel that chiropractic keeps that in check and that I need more help for my shoulder and arm.  Ugh.  They were nice about it, printed out the whole order, and they can fit me in early next week if I get the order for my shoulder.  So, I read all the paperwork.  It mentions concerns about my anxiety exacerbating my back pain.  It also mentions my shoulder “ridiculopathy.” You’ve got to love these technical terms, and looking back, I think I’ve had some sort of anxiety since childhood.  I do feel more yoga will treat my back AND my anxiety, but nothing is helping my shoulder, and it actually keeps me from doing certain yoga poses.  Therefore,  I’ll call Monday to straighten out the PT and just why I am going.  Le *sigh*.

 

fb_img_15518364789175458011365442213066.jpg A flashback photo with my son…

Despite this morning’s frustration,  I had lunch with a good friend after that made it all better; she’s a retired teacher, and I took my 23 year old son who suffers from a psychological disorder and is, overall, pretty anti-social.  My friend, Judi, was fine with me taking him and asked him questions to get him talking.  Don’t get me wrong, he is very healthy, on the right meds, and employed in a job where he can move up.  He just does not have a social circle and is quite introverted. She is very funny and friendly.  We went to get coffee afterward because she is so easy to talk to, and well, we had the time, so why not?  She is so encouraging of my dreams and interested in my hobbies; she also gets the stress teachers go through.  By the way, you know my next goal is to do Improv Comedy, right?  Truth be told, anxiety will not stop me from anything, I just need to learn how to keep it from settling into my body, causing me to clench my teeth or get tense.  I am going to keep pushing my limits!

I remain ever hopeful!  That’s it in a nutshell.  How have your week and your Saturday  been treating you?

Punch. #RDP #flashfiction

Flash fiction response by Pamela Schloesser Canepa, (c) 2019

“Wree, I feel like we are going to be a great success! Thanks for your guidance. I’ve got no idea what your secret is, but this seems to be working.”

“Of course it is, Chap. I know what I’m doing. Could you just, tame your excitement a little though. They can sense it from a mile away. We need to be confident, smooth.” Wree stood and straightened his imaginary tie. Of course, he looked good.

“I’m just not believing it all yet. We’ll be heralded by all, we’ll be famous.” Chap beamed. “I keep thinking we’ll be found out, though, for what we really are.” The smile faded, and anxiety crept over his face. “I mean, I see you and your reptilian nature,” he whispered. “Why don’t they? Why don’t they see my tentacles and fangs?”

“Stop it, Chap. Don’t worry; they’ll never see it. They drank the punch a long time ago. We look like winners to them. We look like money, and it blinds them. Sit tight, because this is the millenia in which we will conquer.” He stood proud again and smiled at an approaching female at the perfect age for carrying and producing an interplanetary specimen. “Hello,” he said with a wink.

****The RDP prompt is shared daily at the Ragtag Community site. You may find today’s prompt at https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/11/09/rdp-saturday-punch/ What would you make out of today’s prompt? Thanks for stopping by! Please leave a comment and tell me where you are from, what planet, galaxy, etc. 🙂

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Photo by Collis on Pexels.com

Into the Deep..#RDP #flashfiction

“Onward,” Filliburt commanded. “We’ll find their hideout soon enough!” Deeper into the cave they went.

“Hark!” Rexi called, then turned to Filliburt.

“I believe I hear the gentle cry of a banshee,” he whispered.

“Banshees don’t gently cry, that they don’t!” Patterson scolded in his English brogue.

“What do you know , Patterson! You’ve just never met a vulnerable banshee!”

“Cut!” Marson choked through a laugh. Where did these role-players come from? The studio must have been pretty desperate this time around. If he if he had to listen to one more argument about fictionary beings…he just might lose it.

*** Posted in response to the word of the day at http://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com