Weekend Coffee Share, Health: Body and Mind

Welcome to my Weekend Coffee Share, hosted by Natalie at https://natalietheexplorer.home.blog/

It’s 9:59 a.m. here in Jacksonville, Florida and sitting at about 50 degrees. Nonetheless, our Florida sun is shining vigorously. My coffee is half-caff with almond milk and honey. Have whatever you like and join in the conversation!

Please excuse my bedhead, however. 🙂 I slept until 9:30 this morning. Sleep: what a glorious thing it is! There was a brief wake-up when I heard my son’s alarm and his shower running. I had to take the phone and knock on the bathroom door so he would make it stop; evidently I don’t know how. He was out the door and went to the gym. I returned to the world of dreams. I needed that sleep. Work has been hectic and life with my grown son at home has been taxing.

He’s moving out next week. This should be a good thing for my stress levels. However, he has been bullheaded and agitated leading up to this move. His move was at my request, though I thought he’d take a few months to save up. He won’t be far away, so that’s good. Still, he is increasingly irritated when I ask questions or give him reminders, as if he is offended and just can’t wait to get away from me. Well, I worry. I’ll have to give myself a number, and that is the number of times I’m allowed to contact him during the week. Only one or two, and I’ll have to stick to it, because I know it’s better for my own health and well-being. There have been too many near-misses, mishaps, ER visits and accidents that I have seen him through. You may be thinking, I see why you worry then. However, he’ll be twenty-five in two weeks. It is time for his next phase, and I can just hope he will step up and show more maturity with spending and responsibility to take care of himself.

I am one of those people who can get really tense, and I’ve been feeling that. It leads to more aches and pains, something I’m quite familiar with, having had several of my own injuries and in the last few years, having been diagnosed with arthritis and now, poly-arthritis. I was tested for RA and it came up negative, which is good. I’ve had my share of accidents and slips that may lead to recurring pain as well. I’ve read a lot about healing and dealing with emotions that may have surrounded an incident. I’m trying. I don’t think the pain is strictly emotional, but that these things react to each other. Part of my healing is likely dealing with past emotions and putting them in their place (which is a raging, burning dumpster that I will send off into a mysterious river by night).

My childhood emotions aside, and the numerous times of teen imbalance when I just fell off of stairs out of the blue aside, the first thing I remember is a car accident with my friend driving at age 20 when my head hit her windshield. I had no seatbelt on. I seemed okay, the paramedic said I looked catatonic, but no medical treatment. I made a little crack on her windshield.

When I was 24, living in Tulsa during my ill-fated engagement before my ill-fated marriage, I slipped and fell on my back on some ice. Also at this time, I caught a TV on my knee at work when a fellow salesman was trying to hook it up and it slipped out of the cabinet. I had gotten on my knees hoping to catch it with my hands and use my knee as backup. Stupid things we do in our youth, you know. My not reporting it was also stupid.

At age 25, I was married, and my husband was driving the car behind a foolish young girl who kept breaking. He sped to get in front of her. We had to stop in a long line of cars, but she just barreled into the back of us, and we had a ten car fender bender. I got x-rays and had physical therapy that time.

Let’s make a long story short, and I’ll sum it up with, a few more car accidents, one of them in 2016 setting off anxiety in me and possibly causing some lingering claustrophobia. Then, there’s the one my son was in that landed him in trauma and ICU for a few days with a head injury. I was not involved, but waiting in the ER with no word of his condition for a few hours and then hearing the details of the accident caused me to envision it all in my mind, and how it could have ended up differently. He suffers no recall of the actual accident to this day.

My sidekick and source of relaxation and play. Circa 2016

Until a few moments ago, I had written event by event, and then my laptop froze, forcing me to exit out and come back into WordPress to finish. I’ve lost a few paragraphs. Maybe it helped me to get it all out but would not have helped my readers. Suffice it to say, the physical injuries we sustain are not as harmful until we emotionally take them to heart. Our emotional reaction to our injuries can impede our healing. Dealing with our emotions can really aid our physical healing.

I’ve spent a few days this week starting my morning with morning meditations through the DARE app (for addressing anxiety) and Youtube videos of positive affirmations involving gratitude for everything that is wonderful. I had no idea my post today would seem as dark as it is, but sometimes you throw the bottle into the ocean and it goes its own way, goes with the tides, or takes a path determined by fate. I do see the need for more gratitude. I promise you I will soon write the post, as it is long overdue. Now I am trying to get motivated to get my exercise in today.

Thank you for bearing with me as the subject took a turn today. I suppose it’s what I needed to talk about. What are you going through? Perhaps some of you can relate to my struggles as of late. I am not fearful; I am making progress. There is hope in that! Have a great Easter weekend, and enjoy the holiday or the coming of Spring, whichever you celebrate.

Weekend Coffee Share,  Not a Number.

My regular coffee buddy!

Welcome to my Weekend Coffee Share,  hosted by Natalie the Traveler.  After some stretching of tired, sore legs, I did some work related things on the computer this morning with the dog by my feet, matcha tea in hand. Work is weighing on my mind. Not only is our state planning to do state testing,  but they are asking teachers to come up with all sorts of extra ideas to make up for losses through the pandemic.

I feel I have made progress with learning to know my students and to make them feel understood. I also teach English Language Arts, a subject in which texts can have multiple interpretations.

I feel a little stressed, maybe the students do as well. All that matters is that they do their best. Most of what I write in these last weeks is short bursts of emotion. I’ve penned my thoughts for students during this era, and I’d like to share.

Dear student,

You are more than a test score. You are a moving ecosystem full of brain networks and emotions,  and yes, personality. While preparing for a test and doing your best can reflect your brain ability and even what kind of person you are, those few answers you got wrong on the last test do not devalue all of your efforts and hard work. Nor do they hold you back from doing better next time.

You are much more than a test score. You are your determination and fortitude that got you this far through a pandemic,  some of you going through quarantine or illness of family members. You are your force of will that got you through the hard times, your personal and spiritual growth (even when nothing makes sense) that moves you to do the right thing and treat others decently and try your hardest, even at things that only pay off in the future and not now.

You are your strength that helps you to never give up and keep on trying even when it seems impossible.  That is the most anyone can ask of you.

Signed,

A Tired Teacher in the COVID era

***It’s Saturday, and I promise to do nothing else work-related today. Now I’m heading out for a long overdue pedicure.

Weekend Coffee Share, Lounging Around

Welcome to my Weekend Coffee Share, Spring break edition! It’s a beautiful Spring day, my porch foor is wide open, and birds are regaling me with their song. My dog even slept late today! I must confess, my Spring Break has been more Emily Dickinson-like than Kerouac inspired.

Allergies have kept me indoors for much of the week. Being off work has allowed me a lot of time to nap, thank goodness. Being an educator, I am pretty careful and got a COVID test Tuesday. The results were negative, so of course, I am just having an allergic reaction to the exuberance and re-birth of nature. It is getting better, otherwise my porch door would not be open. Still, I’m sort of regretful that I could not get out and enjoy nature much. I won’t let it weigh on me too heavily. I’ve had coffee with honey several days this week, knowing that it would not overtake my lethargy, and I was right!

Yesterday, I sat out in my yard, half in the sun, half in the garage, with my loyal dog at my side. He loves to sniff the smells of nature, and today, he is listening to the birds on alert mode. Maybe he can interpret their song?

I did do some reading this week for a book club I participate in; the book was Of Mice and Men, a re-read for me. It’s fairly short, a plus for someone whose focus is challenged like mine is; it’s rough when I’m juggling the teaching requirements, and it’s rough when my sinuses are affecting my brain. At any rate, I love Steinbeck’s descriptions of the countryside, and it is interesting how a dream and a goal could keep an easily agitated man (Lennie) focused. This book could be interpreted so many ways, and I recall how the ending bothered me when I read it as a teen. Steinbeck threw quite a punch; he is an excellent writer.

It has been about a week since I worked on the Ellie novel. You can imagine how unfocused I have felt all week. Still, I am not out of sorts. All things must take their time: allergic rhinitis, writing a novel, pollination of our naturescape. I have a photographer friend who takes marvelous photos of bees, flowers, and landscapes, so I’ve been enjoying those sights from afar. I did write a short poem mid-week in response to the #RDP word prompt: Pursuit. I chose a minimalist approach. You can view the poem here: https://pamelascanepa.wordpress.com/2021/03/08/in-pursuit-of/

Upon feeling a little better yesterday, I made an appointment and will get my COVID vaccine shot today; I just have to drive a little further. My voice is still raspy, but I do not feel feverish, congested, and lethargic like I did days ago. Hopefully, the after-effects won’t be so bad, but I am sure more rest will be in order.

Once I am fully vaccinated, I plan to participate more actively in the world around me, which seems to be in full swing here in Florida. For now, I am drinking juice and getting my rest so I can be back to work next week with a voice that commands respect, authority, and, yes, understanding.

#WeekendCoffeeShare. Picture a Future

Good morning, and welcome to my Weekend Coffee Share!  I’m sipping a peach mango V8, but there is coffee or tea available. I won’t judge…

I thought of writing last night to work on the character of Ellie. I have left her in a precarious situation. I already know how her story ends. She is a warrior. I just haven’t worked out how she escapes her predicament that I was last pondering. All good things take time, I suppose.  Before that, I was composing this post in my head; to quote T.S. Eiliot: “How do I spit out the butt ends of my days and ways…” Sounds ugly, so maybe I am instead painting rainbows out of my doings. 

The last week had a few dark and uncomfortable days tainted by reality.  I can’t give specifics but it is the nature of my job to sometimes deal with uncomfortable situations.  I am so often thankful these days that I started on the journey to grapple with my anxiety and accept the doctor’s diagnosis of Generalized Anxiety Disorder a year ago, just 3 months before COVID hit my area of the world. 

I lighten the air with fantasy, envisioning talking flowers or animals, as if in a cartoon.  I do this for me and for my students.  Some days shine with meaning and purpose, while other days, I just respond to my needs.  Breakfast, shower, clothing, work, work, work, decompress, dinner, exercise. Sleep. Socialization and emotional connection fits in somewhere, but it is so different in this socially-distanced era.

Friday nights I put my feet up, with my loyal dog at my side.  I tire of watching someone else’s stories, though, having them stuffed down my throat, and I picture my own. They cannot be as terrible as the world today. Maybe they foretell of a brighter future, where we build the world we want to live in. Certainly not a world of cyber-bullying, sex-trafficking, or violence.  We owe our children better than this.  We need to teach them it is not alright, teach them how to turn the tides.

Who will teach the children to dream a new tomorrow, so they can make it true? To create better moments instead of just reacting?  At night I train myself not to worry about the future of our children, or unseen threats and my own assumptions. I try, but training takes time. It’s an ongoing work in progress, one step up and two steps back…sometimes, 3 steps ahead, others, going nowhere.  That’s okay though. 

In the meantime, I love the sound of my dog snoring, love the cool evening air when I let him out and the morning sun peeking through window blinds.

I try to ponder these things and think of nothing else.

Sometimes it works, and my breathing slows.

I try, but sometimes the trying takes time.

Yet, I try, and sometimes the trying is a victory…

So, still, I try.

If all else fails, laugh like no one is watching. Not so glam, but it feels great!

In other news, ‘coronophobia’ is now a valid term, researchers say.  I work amongst middle school children daily, and I lean down (masked) when I can’t hear them talk.  I social distance as much as possible, but I am not always behind my desk shield. I think I have good days and bad days, so I am not going to adopt that term; however, I believe it is real. 

My phobias stem from so many other things, and yes, a healthy dash of hypochondria at times.  It may have started with a hospitalization at age eight because I wasn’t eating right. My blood count was very low. I felt so alone for those few days, as Mom had to be at home with my three-year-old brother.

Suffice it to say, hospitals can really trigger me today.  I have to be mindful.  So here I am, dredging up my past.  Therapy can lead to that. You think about why your mind goes to certain places. It is very helpful, though, in framing your thoughts, as if you are taking a picture of a moment that makes you feel triggered, yet you take the looming clouds out of it, because, it was only your mind that put them there and interpreted them as a threat or an ominous portend.  I still can put up my guard, but now I can laugh at myself when I am overthinking things. 

Thanks for joining me. I’m going to run into the kitchen to get my green tea, and you are welcome to a refill.  The ‘cafe’ is playing something by Ben Harper, a guitar solo called “Winter is for Lovers.” Interesting idea on this rainy Valentine’s Day weekend! My ‘bae’ and I will go out for Mediterranean food tonight, and I’m cooking him spaghetti on Sunday.  Have a great weekend, send out some love to the world, and stay the course my friends!

The Occupation

From https://randomwordgenerator.com/picture.php

(c) 2021 by Pamela Schloesser Canepa

Fear took its place

at the center of my heart

Can you tell fear and love apart?

It spread to my nerve endings

Put me on edge, no pretending.

A heart frozen can not be open.

A heart that flees has no hoping.

A heart always ready to fight

Is not occupied by light.

You will not know the peaceful dove

because fear overshadows and poisons love.

The calm of feeling I belong,

A hug or a tranquil inner song

Help refocus me when everything feels wrong…

Focus on fear brings darkness and blight

Love and forgiveness let in the healing light.

Which will show in your face?

Fear and distrust have no grace.

Fear’s stronghold can be released,

Love must always start with peace.

#WeekendCoffeeShare. What’s New?

Welcome to my Weekend Coffee Share, hosted by Allison at Eclectic Ali. Today, I drink green matcha tea, since I had coffee yesterday and experienced some bothersome sciatica. I started the matcha tea in an attempt to improve sleep and stress/anxiety reactions. I do think it helps in the long run, and I allow myself coffee 3 plus times a week. So now, I am experimenting to see if my nerves are calmer with the matcha tea, hoping that means I know one way to keep sciatica at bay. We shall see, right?

Bixby has had a haircut, and good timing, since it was 78 degrees yesterday here in Northeast Florida! It’s supposed to cool off again but won’t be below 40, so it’ll be fine.

The always-poofy tail! #pommix

On New Year’s resolutions

I always liked the idea of New Year’s resolutions. It is a great time to start over and look forward to a better year. I sort of did it differently this year. I’m reading and working on something called A Mindfulness for Beginners Journal. (That’s because, despite trying for fifteen years, I still suck at meditating, but I’ve accepted that some ideas that pop up at the wrong time could still be good ideas). Anyway, this journal gives recommendations on things or ways to ponder and disconnect from worry and the every-day grind. One suggestion was to think on an inspiring mantra, shut my eyes for a certain amount of time, and then write down the mantra or whatever variations occur to my mind.

Perhaps I was not narrow enough or focused enough (which I’m not), and I always break the rules with these ridiculous exercises; still, I will actually own it if I do it my way. I only call them ridiculous because I don’t do them exactly as they are prescribed. I’ll own that too. 🙂 Since mindfulness is a personal thing for all of us, don’t we need to access it in a way that works for us? I was writing each time something good popped into my head, thinking of the things I need to remind myself all throughout this coming year. Here’s what I have, in a quaint little graphic:

“If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, live in the moment, live in the breath.”-quote by Amit Ray, from A MIndfulness for Beginners Journal

Yes, I am enough.

My running joke is that I take selfies merely to document the aging process. Believe what you want. 🙂

My gratitude today is for sleeping well last night, which is overall much better for my sciatica. They say practicing gratitude is a great way to stem off or fight anxiety, which I believe affects the nerve pain of sciatic. I will make it so. My belief is that, day after day, I can make a difference in this world while honoring my own needs and boundaries. I will make it so!

Happy New Year, everyone! Thank you for stopping by. I hope your life is wonderful, and I’d love to hear what you feel gratitude for during, and despite, this COVID pandemic.

Peace!

Weekend Coffee Share: In Dreams I can Fly


Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Welcome to my Weekend Coffee Share, hosted by Allison at Eclectic Ali. There is a fuzzy dog at my feet, and my mug contains matcha green tea, a ritual I follow three days a week in my attempt to be ‘awake but not wired’ and to ensure that coffee doesn’t interfere with my sleep later. Enjoy whatever beverage you’d like for our little chat!

Today I want to talk about dreams. Some nights I don’t have them. Other nights, I wake from a dream and think about it, then I start thinking about work or bills or, you name it, my thoughts start racing. It’s handy at 5:30 a.m., when I would soon be waking, but it’s agonizing at 3 a.m. However, I’ve noticed a recurring dream and wondered how it fits in with my life.

This recurring dream subject is the dream where I am lost on the streets of my city, trying to find my way home. In one of them, I am with my son as a child. In a more recent one, I am on my own. In each, my goal is the same, and I am completely unfamiliar with the streets I roam. They seem a little dangerous, or maybe they’re just different to me. In each dream, I entrust myself to strangers I meet on the street to help me get back to the main street and find a central point with which I am familiar. Some of them seem unsavory characters or street people, maybe young ‘thugs,’ but that is just a stereotype. All of these people help me and prove to me I was right to trust them. This certainly applies to my life. I’m learning.

****From the website https://realdreaminterpretation.com , a site heavy in Jungian psychology which earns points from me, I found these quotes helpful:

The problem of a dream like this is that you cannot find your way home.  The meaning of the dream lies in the symbolism of home and your inability to find your way to it.

The Symbolism of Home and Your Conscious Attitude

Our home symbolizes our whole situation in life, meaning our entire system of adaptation to life: our relationships, our motivating forces, and in particular, our dominate attitude.  By attitude I mean it in the way C.G. Jung defined it:

  • our habitual point of reference toward life
  • how we respond to typical life events without even thinking about it” (This hits a nerve, as my fight-or-flight tenses me up so often, automatically)

‘If you feel anxiety in your life (Duh, have you met me?), then now you know where to look for the problem. It has something to do with home and finding your your way into yourself.  If you do not feel anxiety, then the unconscious says, “Okay, there’s something wrong here and you don’t see it.  You haven’t found your way home yet.”

This dream image of lostness is an archetypal image: lost in the world.  It’s part of the Hero’s Journey. Anyone who takes the road less traveled will certainly  find themselves in this lost state. It’s the only path to your true self.  If this is you, then be happy that you have lost your way, even though it’s scary.”

****

Finding my way home for me could mean writing; it could mean writing the truth instead of making up fantastical stories, or it could mean just getting back to writing , as I have a sort of writer’s block currently. It could mean striking a balance between my traits I’ve developed to protect myself and those which move me to be fearless at times. I’ve spent years trying new things; perhaps that was just part of the journey, and now I’m figuring out which of these things are for me and which are not. For instance: getting a dog (keep), certain extra volunteer work responsibilities (lose or shuffle), my job (keep for now) :), teaching during COVID (well, I’m still doing it), church volunteer activities (not doing much in that way currently), writing (not doing enough of it), health and exercise (Yes, girl, keep it)!

Here’s the thing, if something does not feel right for me, such as, I feel controlled, feel boxed in, or mistreated, it is not my home. At my heart and soul level I have to lose or be rid of that thing (such as my former marriage). However, being who I am, I normally beat around the bush, negotiate, ask for small changes, and still suffer when I know I am not at home in my heart. Well, I have made such a move recently, and I feel so at peace. I’ve also been talking to people about my perception and my needs, and it feels great. It is the trusting I’ve done.

Part of trusting is trusting yourself. We’re normally ashamed to tell anyone we feel twisted up inside, but when you do so, and they hear and understand, you have also trusted the world and trusted you will handle it if they break that trust. You’ve put your truth out there, and if the world wants to judge you for it, that’s their problem. Remember the lotus? It’s even stronger because it struggled through the mud to bloom and become a beautiful flower. Lotus is a constant returning symbol that I use in my mindset. Let me tell you, as a writer, I am putting contents of my mind out there constantly…and every time I read Bad Boy by Walter Dean Myers where he bears his heart in his life story, I am encouraged to share my stories, and I feel a little more fearless.

The future is bright, my friends. I will find my way home, and it may be an atypical home, but I will feel at peace there and won’t hesitate to tell you about it.

Thank you for stopping by! Weekend Coffee Share is a global once a week event where we share our thoughts, lives, and progress with other bloggers far and wide. I know my share was a little specific; I’m just proud I was focused on something! You will find good people from all walks of life through the coffee shares, teachers, bloggers, writers, poets, community activists and you will be heard. Check out Allison’s site at https://eclecticali.wordpress.com/2020/12/04/weekendcoffeeshare-catching-up-2/#comment-12672

Have a great weekend and even better week next week!

#WeekendCoffeeShare. I’m a Grown up! Meh.

Welcome to my Weekend Coffee Share, hosted by Allison at Eclectic Ali. Yay, it’s Saturday!

I’m writing as I eat breakfast, and my beverage will be iced coffee. It has been a strange week with an extra day off Thursday due to storm Eta, which didn’t trouble my neighborhood much except for gray skies.

It’s sunny out, but I have to do some adulting. My car needs service, and it may need struts, which cost a pretty penny and may change my holiday plans. It makes me want to consider a second job. Yuck.

On that topic of adulting, I joined the #agechallenge on social media. It entails being proud of your age and accomplishments. Suffice it to say here, I meet and I am friends with several people who are young enough to be my child. Hopefully, I’m not old enough to be their grandma, but it will happen. So I am like many others who try to not look their age, try to NOT dress their age. I don’t overdo the makeup, because scrubbing eyeshadow and liner off my eyes gives me more eyebags. I exercise quite faithfully.

There is a silver lining that actually sounds a little ironic. My age challenge statement is this:

**I am ___years old. I would’ve already been dead if this was the Middle Ages. Yet, here I am, with time left to figure it all out.**

Yes, like a teenager, I still try to figure out myself, where I’m headed, what works for me, how I can live at peace with others and with my lot in life. They say, “bloom where you’re planted.” Never a dull moment.

It’s clear (or not) from this image I drew a week ago. Everything I am is who I used to be (so , yeah, the free, tree-climbing girl and the awkward pre-teen and confused teenager), but also includes how far I have come today and everything I possibly can be in the future….all rolled up in one and living within my soul at the same time. The future self just sits in wait for us to be ready and to choose what it will be doing. You are sure to see this image again. (Sorry) 🙂

Very wise one day, I shall be. (But I haven’t quite caught up to Yoda yet) 🙂

I need to exercise more, so I can one day be like the old lady who still wears yoga pants and has arm muscles, with a gray braid down her back….so I better grow it. I do not want to be one of the sitting ladies, staring at pigeons on a park bench. I’d rather be wondering and exploring the park, hopefully with a faithful dog by my side!

Somehow I feel I’ve digressed. I should’ve written a philosophical poem….but, it is what it is.

Have a great week, everyone! Don’t swim around in these thoughts for too long, though I’d love to hear yours. ❤

#WeekendCoffeeShare, Giving Your All

Welcome to my Weekend Coffee Share, hosted by Allison at Eclectic Ali. I had a good week at work despite some of the classes becoming a little more excitable. I’ve really been trying to smile at them when I see them outside of class in the hall and to greet them cheerfully when they come in to class. It’s important in these times.

We now have our first COVID case at my school and some are quarantined. One high school in town is closed and doing online teaching; my friend who works there said there are 47 cases. *Anxious sigh*

I do not like the pressure coming down from the district and the state as if this is all about standards (*strictly my opinion, not my empoyer’s). My area of interest is Social Emotional Learning, because I was very unmotivated in high school and did not excel or try for Honors classes until the Senior year, because my son had learning problems due to emotional issues, and because no child will meet the standards if their teacher has not shown that they are accepted while still setting gentle, yet firm boundaries.

I know, yada, yada, yada. 🙂 It’s becoming clear I like to throw myself into things. I am still reading self-help books about healing and anxiety as well as the brain’s role in pain and healing. All summer, I had thrown myself into the healing process with my shoulder injury and physical therapy. This fall, I’ve thrown myself into being the best teacher I believe I can be, not necessarily what everyone else expects. Meaning, it takes me how long it takes me to grade essays. I don’t want to rush and then give them another writing assignment. Still, I am almost done, and this week I was developing project options for my Gifted and Advanced students. I designed my own rubrics and came up with ideas for different projects appealing to different modalities. Some of them seem pretty interested to get started.

I got my vote in early this year, but Tuesday, I joined in with the teacher next door in her efforts to get students excited and to stress the importance of voting. I shared my enthusiasm in a post you can read here: https://pamelascanepa.wordpress.com/2020/11/04/what-its-like-to-vote-2020/

Empty desks will be filled with bright minds….

I am doing well with my nerves, but my focus is sometimes a challenge. Maybe it is a part of changes that come with my age or maybe I once again have to put the past in its place. I don’t know. I just apologize to my students and say I had a “brain freeze” and move on. They don’t make fun of me. There is a feeling that my students and I get along even when I sometimes have to crack down on class behavior or noise, so it seems we’re on the way to building a pleasant little community this year, and that makes me ecstatic! (Do I sound like a hippy)? I love to focus on ways to challenge them. My goal is to make a difference in their lives, like those who made a difference in my life in my healing journey for my shoulder this summer. Not just for the shoulder, but my peace of mind and my trust of medical practitioners. (Hospitals have been a source of high anxiety for me for years).

So while I still spent two nights this week just exercising or relaxing and not grading, while I had them do work Friday but did not grade it, I still think I’m giving my all. There are ways to do this and still maintain balance, I do believe.

Writing is moving slowly for me with my next book, but Malachi, Ruse Master has been fully edited for audiobook and is now in the approval process. Woohoo! My favorite local indie book store closed, the one that carried my books. 😦 So I got them out and they’re at home. I have a few friends who are going to get a copy. There is another store in town I have to check with, though they may require a book signing. I still have COVID fear. Ugh, my social life has suffered. But I will see some friends tonight!

Yes, some long time teacher friends and I are getting together tonight, just the girls. Only two of us are still at the same school, so it will be great to get together! I may be having tea later with a church friend, and this morning I’ve got the ‘got to do’ things: this blog, a little grading, exercise. I am compelled to do these things. Two thirds of them keep me healthy! 🙂

So, social life, beloved writing hobby, work requirements, work goals, healthy habits–all are present….getting close to balancing them! Much love and hugs to the blogging/writing community and peace to any newbies stopping by. Have a great week!

#WeekendCoffeeShare Peacekeepers

Welcome to my Weekend Coffee Share, hosted by Allison at Eclectic Ali. My brain is busy and jam-packed. Where do I begin?

I don’t know if this is writer’s block or what….adult ADD perhaps? Too much on my plate, too many worries, intermittent fight-or-flight brain and COVID anxiety; they overlap each other. I’ve been fighting sciatica again for a few days as well as a throbbing knee.

I sure needed a weekend. Random word generator has given me “wash” today. So, those pains are what I’ll wash away. The start of a weekend gave me a break… Work Saturday morning on things I’ll never finish at my day job. We gained an hour but it feels like my time was robbed. Well, maybe I got a little ahead. Helped a neighbor yesterday; the cops came out when called. The one in the lead was very friendly and helpful. I can’t even go into details, because someone else’s story is not mine to tell. But it reminded me of my son’s hard times. Things are better now for him, but it brought it back. The weekend will wash it away. I have to say the cops calmed the situation and stayed around to protect my mom and her friend. I went to work, and floated above every situation. The morning’s fear came to an end and washed its way down to the gutter of ‘things no longer needed.’

If I could survive that without losing it,

Could help the situation without confusion,

I can focus on a goal, handle moment by moment

Crisis need not destroy me, I know I can own it.

***Now. Deep sigh. Sometimes helping others in a hardship takes us out of our concerns. Friday night we asked my neighbor to dinner and we enjoyed an appetizer and relaxing dinner outdoors at a restaurant. Saturday, I slept in and did so today as well. Bixby porched it with me for a while. It was nice outside!

Bixby loves “porching it!”

No grading today. I’m writing now and getting a massage later. 🙂 Have a great week, everyone!