The Occupation

From https://randomwordgenerator.com/picture.php

(c) 2021 by Pamela Schloesser Canepa

Fear took its place

at the center of my heart

Can you tell fear and love apart?

It spread to my nerve endings

Put me on edge, no pretending.

A heart frozen can not be open.

A heart that flees has no hoping.

A heart always ready to fight

Is not occupied by light.

You will not know the peaceful dove

because fear overshadows and poisons love.

The calm of feeling I belong,

A hug or a tranquil inner song

Help refocus me when everything feels wrong…

Focus on fear brings darkness and blight

Love and forgiveness let in the healing light.

Which will show in your face?

Fear and distrust have no grace.

Fear’s stronghold can be released,

Love must always start with peace.

Sanctuary in the Wide Open

Poem by Pamela Schloesser Canepa, (c) 2020

The place I can go to escape it all

Is really not a place at all.

It’s not designed for us to go hide

There’s no door that lets you go inside….

But yet I run there to escape the chase

To hide out from the rat race,

And laugh at what I’d tried to chase…

None if that would soothe my soul…

Success or money won’t make me whole.

My sanctuary is the wide open

Freedom from worries unspoken,

No need to answer my phone here,

Seagulls and waves are all I hear.

I didn’t need a dark space to hide,

I needed free space to clear my mind.

Covid 2020. Stifled. #poetry

Covid anxiety has me feeling stuck, tied down,

Oppressed…

A hot flash brings it on,

Allergy sniffles bring it

Stuck in a mask, afraid to go out…

It has me pinned by the arms. Stilted breathing, muffled voice

But I will summon my nerve and beat it, one day.

I will stare it in the face, lash out like a cornered animal,

And defiantly,

Spit in its eye.

Lies Women (and Girls) are Told

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Why do you feel this way? You feel this way because you chose to.

You’re just giving me a guilt trip.  It’s wrong to try and give someone a guilt trip.

You’re overreacting.

You’re such a calm girl because you’re quiet. (Ha.)

You just need to relax.  (As in, It’s not me making you uncomfortable, you just need to relax).

You should say you’re sorry (for being in the way, for feeling like you do, for expressing your emotions)

If you dress that way, you’re just inviting trouble.

When you get married, he’ll settle down and shape up.

Your marriage will be stronger if you have a child.

He’ll be so thankful and treat you better if you have his child.

You need to have another child to keep the first one company.

A second child will really make your husband grow up.

You can’t be friends with him, it means you have a wandering eye.

You can’t be friends with her, she’s a bad influence.

You aren’t woman enough to wear that.  Countered with, all that red lipstick makes you look like you’re trash.

He didn’t mean it, and you should get past it.

Men are just like that.

*****The list is extensive and goes beyond this, but I believe this is a start.  Dads, husbands, boyfriends, friends, think about what you are saying to her.***

Next time, try, for a start: “You have a right to your feelings.  You are allowed to express your feelings.  You can be, and do, whatever you choose.  Your can be trusted to make the right choices.”  Let’s rewrite the narrative.

(c) 2020, Pamela Schloesser Canepa

 

 

 

 

 

A New Alliance. #flashfiction

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Photo credit: Louise at Storyteller’s Abode

A New Alliance, by Pamela Schloesser Canepa, (c) 2020

She walked over and Henry bristled. “I’m here to be alone,” he said, curtly.

“Oh, I’ll just have a seat. You won’t bite. I can tell. Your body language says it all.” She set down her huge bag and sat, carefully holding her dress down. “You’re definitely overdressed.”

“So are you,” Henry said, realizing he’d been sized up. He moved his equally stuffed bag to the other side.

“How long since you cut yourself loose of your chains?” She asked.

“A year,” Henry replied, smiling. He thought he’d figured her out. “How about you? A pretty young woman, walking the beach, overstuffed bag. Do you sleep here?”

“Do I look crumpled and wrinkly? Of course not. This is how I pass the days. Two years.”

“Sorry, no offense.”

“Okay. Are you free for lunch?” She replied.

“Why not?”

Two years and twenty beaches later, Henry was still wandering the shores with Kaitlynn.

**A repost from my archives, from the challenge hosted by Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers, https://flashfictionforaspiringwriters.wordpress.com/2017/05/22/fffaw-challenge-week-of-may-23-2017/

Weekend Coffee Share, Top Ten ‘What’s Up’ in My Life

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Welcome to my Weekend Coffee Share, hosted by Allison at Eclectic Ali.  You know when people ask you “what’s up” and you say “Nothin'” or “not much,” but you know you’re lying and they know or they didn’t even mean it when they ask you “what’s up?” Let’s not do that.  Sit a  while, sip your favorite beverage, chat, and listen.

What’s up with me?

  1.  Went to Santee South Carolina with my boyfriend and mom yesterday to meet my brother and his wife at a state park for a picnic.  They took Mom home with them to NC for a few days.  It was beautiful and we all enjoyed it until it started raining and the wind blowing with almost hurricane force. We made it back home in clear skies, though. It was a good day trip.
  2. My grown son was, as a result, on his own to get to and from work yesterday driving my mother’s car. He made it back without event.
  3. The aforementioned son of mine texted me in the afternoon to ask when we were getting back.  By gosh, I think he missed me. The dog obviously did, but my son made it known in his subtle ways.
  4. COVID cases are really rising in my state of Florida.  I think I am being pretty safe, I just wish they’d find a vaccine already.
  5. I finally was able to get an MRI for my shoulder.  (Honestly, it should have happened sooner so I would know what limits to set for myself).  My insurance did not approve the request back in Dec. and required me to go through some hoops first. I should have pushed for it back then.  It turns out there is a partial tear and some other arthritic in the AC. The doc wants me to see an orthopedic surgeon for an opinion. I’m not going to share my feelings on this just yet, but a less invasive solution is my hope.
  6. I caved and got a steroid shot for said shoulder. The shot hurt, but I felt better later. I’m icing it a lot and did not drive much on the way to SC. Luckily, the boyfriend was willing to drive more.
  7. I’ve been reading books about healing and visualization is one form of self-encouragement and relaxation. So I visualize a vampire fairy, yes, that’s what I said, biting my arm which is always stiff due to tension or perhaps self-protection because of my shoulder. It will bite me much like a mosquito, and take out all negative energy that causes me stiffness and pain.  Said fairy will then fly off to the ocean and vomit it out. (It has to go somewhere). Of course, it stirs up a storm there, but we end up getting rain for days on end. No worse that acid rain. In fact, it will lose its negative energy the more it pours down, and I will have no tension and much less pain.  Where did you all think rain came from?  Oh, never mind.

Writing Status

8.  I have randomly been working on a rough draft for my next book in the Detours in Time universe, based on Ellie from the last two Detours in Time books. Like Malachi, she is one of those characters that has really stuck with me.  Well, I visualized and wrote the ending.  The beginning and middle are not fleshed out, but at least I can go forward with the end in mind! It is kind of exciting, now that I think about it.

9.  Just like that, I have a voice narrator for my most recent book, Malachi Ruse Master!  He is currently working on the 15 minute sample. I’ll be sure to keep you updated as we go along.

10.  Does anyone know where I can publish a short story that I think is really good?  I’ve found and entered 1 online contest, and searched other story sites but cannot see myself boxing the story into a limited amount of space or words.  It’s not long, but it is beautiful and mysterious as it is; I do not want to change it to fit tight specifications. Still, I want to share it with the world, and the new Twilight Zone is no longer taking submissions for possible publication on screen.  😦  Ideas anyone?

 

So, there you have it.  I may have left some details untouched, but you definitely have an idea of what is up with me!  I skipped Coffee Share last week, so there was some catching up to do, and the ‘top ten’ format helped me focus.  I hope you have a great weekend and upcoming week! How is life in your world?

Indie Author/ Gypsy Dancer #amwriting #poetry

2006blackdressleg179 circa 2006. *I used to dance a lot more.  But then, I write a whole lot more now. It is a dance of words.  

I don’t do this for riches,

I earn pennies a day.

I do this for the joy,

so, please don’t look away.

 

I’ll still dance even

if you don’t look,

but, yes, I want

you to read this book.

 

A gypsy dancer keeps on moving,

We think she has no home.

An indie writer, keeps on trying,

With no agent, on her own.

 

I’ve finally got the nerve

to dance for a crowd,

I open my arms wide…

ready to sing aloud.

 

I do this because I must,

it’s like an itch I must scratch.

Sometimes I aim to please,

but sometimes that’s a miss.

 

Pleasing the masses?

Unlikely, but I’ll try…

Yet a smile on just one face

can help me get by.

 

No matter what they think,

I will still dance on.

And for my dance of words,

You’ll remember me when gone.

 

 

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#RDP The Path Ahead

 

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 

(c) 2020

The path ahead is clear

I see it in front of me.

I don’t know which turn to take

I don’t know exactly what to do;

but I do know I will just

move forward.

 

*PS- The nation is burning, many Americans are angry and hurting, and I am feeling that in my heart as well.  Still, my words are scarce and my mind foggy. I do hope you find some meaning in the poem.  I have been dealing with pain again and just saw the doctor days ago for a more specific path to healing and improvement.  I will follow his recommendations and report back.  I tend to put these things off, but I’m glad I finally sought help again.  My unclear thoughts needed the free frame of a poem today to express myself. Thank you, RDP!

 

Writing our History into our Fiction

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Pixabay photo.

I’ve decided to write COVID-19 into my current fiction work-in-progress. Doing so makes me think of Stephen King’s The Stand with a shudder. Stores closed, streets practically empty. That is, until two weeks ago, when governors started announcing gradual re-openings. I am still playing it safe, though. If you were to write COVID-19 into your current work-in-progress, would you mention toilet-papergate? Stores running out of hand sanitizer? Stores with signs up requiring you to wear a mask? These are unprecedented times, and they are worth remembering and writing about. In my novel, the character will travel to our times from the earlier 2000s and will see some of those things. I do not plan to make it tragic, though. Still, who knew this would become our reality?

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In my most recent work of published fiction, Malachi, Ruse Master, I have written a whole chapter on Sept. 11th, 2001. My character is a young man living alone in the D.C. area. An ordinary day turns into an exercise in fear and uncertainty as news reports come in about the attack on the World Trade Center and the plane that headed for the Pentagon. The emotions were real, I experienced them and recall clearly what 9-11 was like.

I did a little research on what it may have been like for someone living in the D.C. area during 9-11 to get my facts straight. I do not know anyone who lived there at the time. I had lived there as a child, and I’m always reminiscent of the Potamac River and the weather changes. Living in Florida, the seasonal distinctions are not as clear. So, having a character living in that area around that time lent itself to writing that event into the setting. I feel that this is a way to frame the events of a novel, adding something we are all familiar with.

Like my character, Malachi, I did not really have a feeling of community reinforced for me. I just felt more alone. Though, I suppose, that is a result of terror. So why add such a horrible event into the setting? Because it is something we all remember, in many different ways. I also feel it helps us sympathize with the character. The book is considered a young adult novel, but it is not written specifically for young adults. It is something we all can identify with in some way; we’ve been there. My hope is that readers of all ages will find something to identify with in this book. You can learn about or get a copy of Malachi, Ruse Master at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B086VYJYZX

As I grow in my writing journey, I am finding the importance of setting in a book, how it makes readers connect to the characters in the events. In a sense, a setting in any book is a character in itself.

What historical event have you lived through, and which fiction books express the experience well for you?

Malachi, Ruse Master Earns a Reader’s Favorite 5 Star Review!

_Author's new book receives a warm literary welcome._ Reader's Favorite 5 Star Review rating, 5_05_20 (2)

I’m really excited about the feedback Malachi, Ruse Master has earned from Reader’s Favorite! From the review:

“Reviewed By K.C. Finn for Readers’ Favorite
Malachi, Ruse Master is a work of fiction written for young adults by author Pamela Schloesser Canepa. This action-packed novel is a spinoff from the Detours in Time series… but can also be read as a standalone.

…As a flawed character from the off, our central figure is developed with a great deal of emotional realism and sensitivity, which makes him all the more endearing when you see both his triumphs and troubles. This novel is exceedingly well-plotted to put him to the test in all sorts of different ways, and the anti-hero meeting this hero-quest style action in unconventional ways is sure to be really exciting for the intended YA reading audience. I also thought the dialogue was really snappy, entertaining, and true to form in terms of characterization. Overall, I would highly recommend Malachi, Ruse Master whether you have started the rest of the series or not: an action-packed and uniquely developed read.”

Readers’ Favorite LLC
Media Relations

 

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The first paperback copies of my latest book have arrived. As you can tell, I feel like a kid in a candy store…not because I am gathering riches and fame, but because I have made a life long dream come true, to know that feeling of holding my own book in my hands, to be a published author!

Want to know more or get your own copy of Malachi, Ruse Master? Click here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B086VYJYZX