Weekend Coffee Share: Paint me Strong and Free.

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Welcome to my Weekend Coffee Share, hosted by Allison at Eclectic Ali.

This week, I have seen the past two years of writing and story building come to fruition. I hit publish on the Malachi, Ruse Master paperback last night, and the e-book has been put on pre-order this past week.  This book is an extension of Malachi, and intriguing character from Detours in Time, Book 2, and follows him through his story and his intersection with Milt from the Detours in Time series. Through 4/22, you can get the Malachi, Ruse Master Kindle e-book for just .99 on pre-order here:  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B086VYJYZX
Today,  I am tired and my arm hurts. I’m surviving, since living in my head suits me fine, and I can’t imagine adjusting well to a regular schedule again. I’m enjoying online teaching and the interaction with the kids who do show up, and I try to find ways to streamline my work.  Today is arm day; it will be long and drawn out at my own pace.
I’m publishing a book but can barely find the focus to write and read these days. I think I’ll just record my thoughts. What do you think? It’s about a girl who escapes painful, difficult situations by flying around the room.
“Come back down here now!”
“No.”
The best, safest state of mind is a mix between reality and imagination. Take what you like of reality and paint it in the colors you would wish to see, like a starry night sky, like me swimming through the cosmos. Take what you don’t like, and paint yourself conquering it.  I wanted to create this scene with play-doh, but it will take a month to arrive from Amazon.  Hmmm, maybe I’ll still do it. 🙂
I have lost nothing in this pandemic but the old routine, and I have gained more time to look inside myself and examine my old habits and coping mechanisms, something that could help me to change for the better.  Or, it could all help me decide to change my surroundings.  This time has led me to embrace myself, thorns and all.  May you all gain something out of this time confined to your homes.  I extend my warmest thoughts to those who are experiencing loss.  I’d also love to hear if you all have ideas coming forward for you with all of your extra time.  I don’t feel I can put them into action yet, but tomorrow could be different!
Our mayor opened the beaches here in North Florida yesterday evening, and I see the crowds of people on the news. I envy them, yet I cringe. I could never forgive myself if I brought home this virus to my 78-year-old mother.  So, I am staying put.  Maybe I’ll walk the dog later.
Have a peaceful week!
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Weekend Coffee Share. This Little Bird’s Gonna Fly…I Hope.

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Welcome to my Weekend Coffee Share, hosted by Antoinette Truglio Martin. Can I just say, thank God for weekends!

I was in such bliss waking up at 7 this morning knowing I didn’t have to put my brain in overdrive getting ready to be somewhere at a specified time or thinking about what I’d do first or what morning meeting I’d have at school. I looked forward to breakfast and coffee, and everyone else at home was asleep. It was silent in my home, silent in my neighborhood, and I managed 7 hours of sleep last night, a miracle, lately. I do a lot of stretching in the morning, exercises at home, and yoga now and then, which I will start more as physical therapy is winding down. It all makes for a peaceful morning that I can stretch out with writing on the laptop and sometimes, yes, tying up less ends for work and making progress on my class for Teaching Gifted students. Right now is a busy time, and I have still been in the process of working on me.

On that note, on Martin Luther King day I invited a new co-worker, a very young woman, to bring her dog to the dog park to play with my Bixby. It went so well, we are going to do it again! She is my son’s age, but why should that stop me? I am so glad I did that. It’s about breaking out of usual limits we put on ourselves.

Of course, Bixby loved it too!

I saw my doctor this last week and we discussed many things: sleeplessness, menopause, my progress with my shoulder and physical therapy. He’s offering a prescription for the sleep, and I’m going to think about it first. I think I’ve made good progress with the physical therapy and will likely write about that on my blog as well. As this process went on, I’ve been educating myself and researching about the brain and pain, anxiety and its effects on our thinking. I am emerging from physical therapy much stronger, so let me just tell you, it works. However, I not only needed help with my body and strength, but also with my mindset. I received that as well in the most subtle of ways. As a result, I am a firm believer in physical therapy as a method for dealing with or recovering from pain. As I said, I plan to write about this and some of the things I learned about myself through this process. I have one more appt, and then I will be the baby bird nudged out of the nest. I am ready to go on to the next thing, or just to discover what is the next way I can keep myself on the path to getting stronger and believing in myself. My doctor says an MRI is not necessary now, which works for me, as I like avoiding visits to the hospital! My goal is to continue doing intentional things to keep my upper body strong and not allow it to go back to the pain cycle; may any pain that comes now simply be growing pain. I am already keeping up with lower body stretches and will continue, perhaps challenging myself with barre class or cardio yoga.

Just for fun, here is what I’ve been researching about the mind:

-Is counting a form of OCD

-Other side effects of menopause

-How safe is Ambien? (because I’m not sure I want that prescription)

-Anxiety and memory loss

-physical therapy stories

-pain and trauma

-pain and the brain

-CBT

Yes, sometimes I am heavy handed with my over-thinking. But don’t worry, this little bird is gonna fly. As you should know, if you have ever met me or read my writing or blog posts, I am very capable in the area of imagination and fantasy, and half of the battle is believing that you can!

Photo via Pixabay.

Stay light, my friends. Have a great week!

My Exercise Evolution, Pt. 5. Escape #amwriting

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I am tired and not sure how much longer I can do this.  So, I let my leg straighten out.  I don’t even get an evil eye from the instructor, although we were supposed to hold the bent-leg pose for two minutes.  Thank God.  No judgment here.  And that is how it should be.  I am competing with no one but myself.  I have nothing to prove.

“You know your own body and limits,”  the instructor says.  She tells us to modify and gives us options.  This is how it should be.  Gone are the days of kick-boxing and countless ab repetitions on the floor to some Britney Spears song.  My body complains at times, but my spirit is soaring.  That’s because, what makes my spirit soar is quite different than what used to.

I could go down the list of names of maladies my chiropractor labelled me as having, in addition to the surgeries and digestive issues, but I won’t.  What’s important is that I am doing an exercise that is good for all of these maladies, while at the same time, relieving stress.  This is what I need right now.  Sorry, but I feel my age today and I’m visualizing myself as a tin man.  It’s not always like this.  But what’s important is that I got off the couch, because the aches will still be there whether I push through them or not, but I will end up much healthier this way.

You may think this is a sad post, but let’s shout in celebration because I did show up, I tried, and I’m all the better for it.  Not only did I take away a release from stress, I also left with a new favorite musician.

The music on our instructor’s playlist included a artist who speaks to me with his instrument.  So, I asked her for the artist’s name, and now I have a new favorite song to play in the morning so I can be calm on the way to work.  His name is Garth Stevenson.  My favorite of his songs is “A Love Song.”  It starts slow, includes a lot of waiting, a lot of added whimsical instruments (reminding me of the fairies in “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”) and a *violin that is deep, a piano that is light and airy, and a melody that tells it’s own story, making me at once want to cry and leap for joy.  All of this relaxes me, I am not sure how, maybe because it provides me the perfect escape.   I feel as if I could hide up somewhere in the highest notes of this song, dancing as if my body had no aches or creaks. The violin speaks to me and carries me away like an easy flowing river, making me believe it and see it happening.  Perhaps heaven would be like this for me.  (Further research by my fellow blogger informs me this instrument I’m hearing is a double bass.  I’ve always loved stand-up bass, cello, violin…)

Joy is when you find the thing that touches your emotions most and makes you feel free.  Up high, untouchable, unjudged, I would be invisible in each high note, floating like a fairy dancing on air.  You could only see me if you can feel the music.  See what I mean.  Music takes you away.

I may have digressed there, but the music is important.  Your bills, road rage, past memories and work obligations of tomorrow should not matter when you are doing yoga.  You also should not be focusing on your limitations.  Sometimes it takes the right song to take you away from that.   It may be a different song for each of us; I have found my song.  🙂  ❤

Staying True to Me, My Exercise Evolution, Pt. 2

YogaBabt4thI am sharing an experience from about a year ago.  It is my intent that I will share a few experiences that inspired me to write, whether a Facebook post or diary entry, and to catch up to more current yoga streams of consciousness.  This one was a turning point for me, because no matter what exercise you choose, you have to realize that you are not like everyone else and embrace that fact, instead of feeling ashamed.  Due to physical arthritis or stress-related issues, Yoga has lately been my exercise of choice, with occasional pilates and barre classes to push myself. Yet my spirit so often begs for yoga.  Think about it; yoga is a relaxing exercise that helps center the mind, but it quickly loses that factor when you are pushing yourself to be something you’re not, or comparing yourself to others in the room who may be a little more, well, limber.  Best is the instructor who reminds you to go at your own pace, modify if needed, stop comparing yourself to others, and yes, “Hang out in child’s pose” if you feel the need!

*I had a yoga win last night! I was not going to let that gal force me into a frog. I’ve been forced into one before and, well, Pam is not a frog. This was probably 9 years ago at a gym that has long since closed.  I recall being amazed that I could actually get into a frog, only, guess what?  I didn’t get into a frog; I was forced into the frog!  Getting out of it was pretty awkward.  I wasn’t having that this time.  I muttered, “No. I have trouble with….” You could fill in the blank, this week. She heard knee, and moved on to someone else. So I did my own pose without pins and needles of pain, because yoga is for relaxation, not pain. I also did not turn my mind off (such a rebel)! There are great things going on; thank God! My mind is working for me right now and I will let it, since I’ve actually been able to write lately. This yoga/exercise state of mind and leading me to healthy thoughts; my mind is not shut off, but I’m not worrying!  Therefore, this must be a good thing.  It was awesome this time to practice something that did relax my body and mind, and still, through it all, I remained true to me.   Sorry if ya’ll expected me to say I’d figured out the headstand…..*

 

 

 

 

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