I like the pained look on this woman’s face in the photograph. Not because the yoga hurt me, but because my stressed out body was not ready to let go of the stress and relax this time. I want to be honest, and this photo totally represents my attitude tonight. I didn’t feel too evolved, but in actuality, I guess I’ve evolved to be able to not push myself too far.
I hate Triangle. This is what I was thinking when the instructor told us to set up for our triangle pose. Then, I immediately felt guilty for my negative thinking. Sadly, I’ve fallen a little out of tune with my exercise routine, but perhaps for good reasons. I obviously don’t have the attitude I had built myself up to, and I really need to work to get it back.
I am , however, going to give myself a free pass and just thank myself for showing up to the class tonight. I knew it would help me, and it did, despite my almost losing my balance and falling once or twice, needing to modify my lunges. So I modified. I went easy on myself; it’s been a rough few weeks, with a hurricane passing through, a family friend dying, and the ex-husband in town for a few days. My emotions have been pulled, and I had cause for anxiety with the ex-husband based on his last visit. Now it’s all over. The ex went back home, the funeral has happened, the hurricane dispelled. Yet I am still at the bottom of the well. I need to work on coming back up. I was very mindful to remind myself of that all through class.
On a brighter note, here’s more on the topic of wandering minds during yoga: why do so many instructors use phrasing such as, isn’t that a yummy stretch? That is mostly used by female instructors, I’ve noticed. While I haven’t had that many male instructors, there is one most memorable instructor who would say, “Feel that stretch, isn’t that delicious?” This was said in his beautiful Calypso or Caribbean accent.
“No,” I said, honestly. It wasn’t delicious as his hand holding my leg steady was, or as his honey dripping accent, or as, let’s say, chocolate. That’s the part I didn’t say. 🙂 He just chuckled when I said that and let up a little. I wasn’t being mean, I half smiled when I said it so that he knew, it wasn’t him. It was me. I loved having him as an instructor. But alas, he was just a sub that night, as he normally would teach the early morning class, one I could never make. At least he wasn’t pushing us to empty our minds. He must have known the delicious comment was pretty suggestive. Hey, it made me think of chocolate, or his awesome accent, all things I find very relaxing. Unfortunately, I no longer attend the studio where this man with the wonderful accent instructs; it is just part of life changes. I had to choose somewhere closer and I do truly love the new studio I currently attend.
I am not complaining about the wording used by instructors; I love the yoga community. But calling any of these stretches “yummy” just accentuates the fact that I am not at home eating the goods I am trying to stay away from. If you are an instructor who wants us to empty our minds, please don’t use the word “yummy!” I do have to add, though, it always makes my busy mind chuckle while I’m in a resting tree, downward dog, or even pigeon pose and I hear such comments. Thank you, dear yoga instructor, for giving me that inward chuckle, for coming by with your relaxing scents, and for playing that wonderful music. I really needed it tonight.