Weekend Coffee Share, Grateful for Each Day

Welcome to my Weekend Coffee Share, hosted by Allison at Eclectic Ali. Pull up a chair and grab your favorite beverage! My ‘coffee shop’ has a cute pup wandering around, and in the background, music plays by the band, LIVE, particularly, my favorite song lyrics:

Don’t try to find an answer

when the the truth’s already here

don’t let your heart be wounded

Show no mercy to your fear.

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Quite appropro, as I had to meet my traffic anxiety face-to-face this holiday season.

Scenes from my Thanksgiving: I proudly drive two hours straight through Georgia and then (respectfully) require my boyfriend, Kenny to drive I-95 in S. Carolina. At a rest stop in Santee, my bro grills hot dogs and we have chips too, before he ushers my mom up to Raleigh, N.C. I gratefully ride home with Kenny having avoided an 8 hour trip alone with my mom and my traffic anxiety. (If I needed a break, her driving would also cause me great anxiety). You see, I could have gone up to N.C. with my mom, but, you can infer why I preferred not to, and my brother and his wife don’t get much time visiting alone with Mom. By the way, what is up with I-95 in South Carolina? Everybody seems to take that route north during the Thanksgiving holiday, and it is just TWO AGONIZING lanes. That scene is just not for me, and let’s suffice it to say, I am honoring and setting my own limits….

Thursday, I effectively teach Kenny’s 83-year-old dad how to take a picture with my cell phone! His smile was wonderful! Carb-laden food is consumed and I laze around. I let my son drive me later on and I get scared half to death because of his involuntary tics…which also add to my anxiety and I don’t know how he can white-knuckle it and tell me “It’s nothing.” He won’t get checked out. I sometimes fear it is a lingering result of his head injury from 2017. It is in his hands, also in God’s hands, I suppose. I pray it is not as awful as it appears to me. Friday, I avoid shopping malls and do nothing but dog play, yoga, and laundry.

On the note of anxiety, I am starting to re-read the book, Finding Serenity in the Age of Anxiety. It speaks of Toxic anxiety (so prominent in our world today), Natural anxiety (think of wildlife, ready to fight or self-protect), and Sacred anxiety (involving fear of death or that our time is running out to fulfill our purpose). It is brilliant, faith-based and Science- based, so all-around perfect in my book, and I highly recommend it if you are trying to achieve/ maintain balance or calm in your life.

I am not writing much as far as progress on a novel, but I already decided this next one will take some time, and I will give it time to marinate. However, I seem to churn out poetry now and then and a short story or two. Here is a recent poem I posted on my blog about ‘knowing thyself’ and honoring yourself during the start of a hectic holiday season. Check it out here: https://pamelascanepa.wordpress.com/2020/11/26/slow-down-and-grow/

Thank you for stepping into my world and catching up for coffee today. I hope you all have a great week!

My Exercise Evolution, Pt. 5. Escape #amwriting

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I am tired and not sure how much longer I can do this.  So, I let my leg straighten out.  I don’t even get an evil eye from the instructor, although we were supposed to hold the bent-leg pose for two minutes.  Thank God.  No judgment here.  And that is how it should be.  I am competing with no one but myself.  I have nothing to prove.

“You know your own body and limits,”  the instructor says.  She tells us to modify and gives us options.  This is how it should be.  Gone are the days of kick-boxing and countless ab repetitions on the floor to some Britney Spears song.  My body complains at times, but my spirit is soaring.  That’s because, what makes my spirit soar is quite different than what used to.

I could go down the list of names of maladies my chiropractor labelled me as having, in addition to the surgeries and digestive issues, but I won’t.  What’s important is that I am doing an exercise that is good for all of these maladies, while at the same time, relieving stress.  This is what I need right now.  Sorry, but I feel my age today and I’m visualizing myself as a tin man.  It’s not always like this.  But what’s important is that I got off the couch, because the aches will still be there whether I push through them or not, but I will end up much healthier this way.

You may think this is a sad post, but let’s shout in celebration because I did show up, I tried, and I’m all the better for it.  Not only did I take away a release from stress, I also left with a new favorite musician.

The music on our instructor’s playlist included a artist who speaks to me with his instrument.  So, I asked her for the artist’s name, and now I have a new favorite song to play in the morning so I can be calm on the way to work.  His name is Garth Stevenson.  My favorite of his songs is “A Love Song.”  It starts slow, includes a lot of waiting, a lot of added whimsical instruments (reminding me of the fairies in “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”) and a *violin that is deep, a piano that is light and airy, and a melody that tells it’s own story, making me at once want to cry and leap for joy.  All of this relaxes me, I am not sure how, maybe because it provides me the perfect escape.   I feel as if I could hide up somewhere in the highest notes of this song, dancing as if my body had no aches or creaks. The violin speaks to me and carries me away like an easy flowing river, making me believe it and see it happening.  Perhaps heaven would be like this for me.  (Further research by my fellow blogger informs me this instrument I’m hearing is a double bass.  I’ve always loved stand-up bass, cello, violin…)

Joy is when you find the thing that touches your emotions most and makes you feel free.  Up high, untouchable, unjudged, I would be invisible in each high note, floating like a fairy dancing on air.  You could only see me if you can feel the music.  See what I mean.  Music takes you away.

I may have digressed there, but the music is important.  Your bills, road rage, past memories and work obligations of tomorrow should not matter when you are doing yoga.  You also should not be focusing on your limitations.  Sometimes it takes the right song to take you away from that.   It may be a different song for each of us; I have found my song.  🙂  ❤