Weekend Coffee Share, Neither Here nor There

Welcome to my Weekend Coffee Share, hosted by Natalie the Explorer. I’m enjoying hazelnut half-caff after drinking green tea all week. It feels like it’s already 80 degrees here in Jacksonville, Florida. So be it! I just really wanted coffee. ūüôā

If we were having coffee today, I’d tell you that I didn’t need coffee this week; green tea with a little caffeine was just fine with me. I was busy, busy, and the new experience of managing and selling yearbooks was pushing me to burn my own energy. Thursday, I sold out, and Friday, I was dragging my feet. It was either the lack of my newfound purpose or the sleep trouble I had Wednesday night, but I was not feeling enthused come Friday.

It’s okay, though. I’ve experienced a reciprocal respect with my end-of-day-class after reading their mythical stories, and my grading was mostly based on their imagination and pacing, so some of them had dramatic improvement in grades. Other than that, we are not learning new content anymore, and next week is mostly based on celebrations.

The surviving-til-summer-break hairstyle

I’m a fan of word games, so we’ve done some of that and will also next week. My brain is not geared towards writing right now, because this whole end-of-a-realm feeling is always something I must deal with. I recall last year I couldn’t stand the silence in my classroom on the last day and asked a friend to do her paperwork in my room as I poked around slowly packing the room up for summer. Then there’s the class in which I discovered several budding actors. So many fun possibilities!

Confetti on the floor, a prop for their scripted, pretend wedding to each other.

Last year was an emotional year to pack up; I’d experienced the end of an eleven year relationship and the exit, albeit temporary, of my son from my life. There was anger, pain, and my plucky attempts at humor to deal with it all. On top of that was saying goodbye to students that I saw grow and hope I helped grow through a pandemic.

Time heals, faith and hope heals. I reached out to others and lived my life. My son is at home with me, working and enjoying more time with his dad, who has re-entered his life. The end of this school year makes me think about last school year. It’s okay to feel that, but then I need to put it away and let this year be its own entity.

I’m still looking forward to a cruise with my boyfriend, and my birthday weekend is in a few weeks. I will either enjoy or have to survive chaperoning at an in-school dance next Tuesday, then there will just be a few days until this school year is over. I can do this!

You see, I needed my own pep talk. My title might not be fitting, since I seem to have moved out of that slump. All things considered, I am really glad to have a weekend! How has your week been?

Reading: The Bloody Shoe Diaries

Writing: nothing other than this blog post at the moment

Watching: Working Moms on Netflix. (It used to be funnier)

Listening to: Echo and the Bunnymen, Ocean Rains ( a glorious, gothic 80s tune)

The Day Spring Rolls in. #poetry

Spring greets us in the morning

With bright sun and singing birds at 50 degrees.

It rolls into our left open doors calmly,

Then screams it’s arrival at warm noon,

Though Spring never comes too soon,

With reminders of a lost love

Or childhood games in a state far away,

Of clover and grass once again green,

Of sunburn and beaches and fish in the cooler to clean

Time outdoors, with family , with friends, and steak on the grill

Or music in the air at a festival park

While the sun changes shades many times before dark.

When the sun slowly slips away,

We are still warmed by the hum of that day.

Photo by David Bartus on Pexels.com

Weekend Coffee Share. Acceptance, part 536

Welcome to my Weekend Coffee Share, hosted by Allison at eclecticali.wordpress.com. Grab your favorite beverage and grab a chair so we can chat! I’m havng a Medium roast with vanilla creamer myself.

I survived another teaching week in the time of COVID. I’ve been taking the mask off more as I sit behind my desk shield, distanced, just so the students can hear me. It’s so important to be heard clearly in order to teach and for them to appreciate me as human, just like them, and important to me for them to know I’m willing to bring humor and enjoyment to difficult situations or learning goals.

Yesterday, it got through to them. A few kids laughed with me. I gave another the elbow-bump-hug when it seemed he needed it. It’s not a real hug, but I told him, remember the COVID distance rules. Relating to them in this distanced time and teaching with a mask on is challenging and sometimes I feel like my efforts suck….but yesterday, I felt like I succeeded. Funny how scared I was to be teaching amongst middle schoolers and the germs they can pass, but now I am concerned about how the experience is affecting them. We have to accept this situation we’re in, but I don’t want them to feel alone, scared to laugh, or even scared to talk.

Facebook almost gave me some tears this morning:

These sentiments still ring true, as my son has worked steadily as a mechanic for a year. “You will find your own way and I will admire you for that. Thank you, Facebook memories .

Ah, Facebook memories. Let’s not forget what we’ve come through or what has shaped us. I learned so much about acceptance as a parent. Yes, “You will find your own way and I will admire you for it.”

Way back when…. circa 2088. ‚̧

I’ve struggled this week with my digestive issue, something I was diagnosed with in 2009. I ate so little for lunch last Saturday that I pigged out on Mexican food Saturday night. It was fun and tasty, but I suffered for a week. I feel like Icarus who flew too close to the sun. Except I can get back to my healthy diet and not suffer now. I’ll save my gusto for ax-throwing and the rock-climbing gym, both 4 month goals for me. I’m still faithfully doing regular workouts for my arms and shoulder in addition to the cardio three times weekly. I have goals, and I’ll get there!

Today is a hair dresser day, so I can hopefully enjoy easily styling again for a few months. You may notice above that the hair has gotten unruly. I don’t go with a tame look, but it does need to be easier to fix in the morning. I haven’t finished my workouts for the day, but I will after my appointment! Thanks for joining me for this coffee chat, and have a great week!

For My Son. #poetry

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Advice to My Son

By Pamela Schloesser Canepa

 (c) 2020

 

Even when your world’s

turned upside down

There is soil to plant a flower.

 

Even when change is hard,

Inside you have the power.

 

And when times seem the darkest,

There’ll be sunshine within the hour.

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Best of the Year, Dec. 25, 2018. #2018BOTY

Blog#BOTYezgif-com-gif-maker-4

Thank you to Beaton at becomingthemuse.wordpress.com for the image and for making me aware of this awesome bloggers’ challenge!

What Christmas looks like: Family, friends, love.

 

A gift from someone who really gets me!

And seeing my loved ones smile.

All this, along with the love and antics of our little fur baby just make my heart sing!

Merry Christmas/ Happy Holiday to you and yours!

#Weekend Coffee Share. Dogiversary!

Welcome to my Weekend Coffee Share, hosted by Allison at eclecticali.wordpress.com!

I hope you don’t mind being sniffed! My dog is very curious around new people. Don’t worry about setting your coffee down; he has never tried to get into my cup and seems to understand the need to sit around and take one’s time with a cup of java.

Life has been busy like usual, but I had some time with old friends Thursday at dinner, and then Friday was a day off from work, so I had lunch with some old friends who have now retired, and we did a little shopping. It was a slightly indulgent day, but the best part was the laughter! I really enjoyed myself.

When I got home, my dog came running to the door to see me, as always.  He manages to always make me feel loved and missed.  Tomorrow, it will have been four years since we adopted this furry bundle of fun and days later, were allowed to bring him home!

It was Nov. 11, 2014.¬† Work was super-stressful for me.¬† My son was going through some personal trouble and had dropped out of college for the first time.¬† He was not working and seemed depressed most days.¬† I was feeling inadequate as a mom.¬† I’d write poems now and then to express my feelings, but nothing longer than that.¬† I had stories inside of me but didn’t know which story I could share with the world, or how.¬† My hand and arm would get sore from typing I did at work; I wasn’t sure I’d ever write the way I wanted to.¬† I’d thought of having a dog before, but the thought of having another mouth to feed and a living thing that needed attention just seemed like nothing but another responsibility. Still, my son was alone at home during the day, and people with dogs looked so happy and active.

So, Mom and I talked about it a lot.¬† She went with my son and found the sweetest dog in the puppy room.¬† He wasn’t a puppy, but rather three years old, and just too small for the big dog area.¬† Mom came home and said she was in love.¬† If we got a dog, she really wanted Bixby.¬† So, having a day off on Veteran’s Day and with Jacksonville Humane Society running an adoption special, I took my son up there to see this dog.¬† Mom was at work.¬† Guess what?¬† She was right.¬† He was special, and such a sweet dog.¬† The sign said “pomeranian mix.”¬† It was mostly in his tail.¬† ūüôā¬† He was skinny with a choppy haircut. The worker lifted him out of the cage; he seemed scared.¬† We got into a visiting room, and he sniffed like crazy, then peed on the floor.¬† I started the paperwork.¬† He let me hold him briefly, then got up to pee on the floor again.

Bixby21110141504-01 Upon meeting: Skinny, curious, and a little hopeful but unsure.  

I’d have to wait two days, because he was on a stray hold.¬† I requested the neutering, and they’d give him any other shots, etc.¬† I hated leaving there without a dog, but going back was exciting!¬† I’d already bought a leash, but learned it was not a good leash, so they gave me a plain, cloth leash.¬† I paid at the checkout, and my son held the dog.¬† He was an excited and scared canine.¬† “Get me out of here!”¬† “Wait, where are we going?¬† Is it better there?”¬† And then there was a defensive pit behind the cashwrap next to the cashier who barked back and forth with my dog and even lunged a little.¬† It had been abused and her hair was following out, due to stress, the cashier said.¬† I don’t think it would have fared well out with all the other barking dogs.¬† Poor girl.¬† We held on tightly to our new dog.¬† Finally, we were leaving, and I had to let him down to walk, but it was awkward with him on a leash.¬† Maybe he wasn’t used to one.

We came home and surprised my mother.¬† (The three of us live together).¬† “Oh, Mom, I have to show you something.” The dog, sniffing around like crazy.¬† My mom was so ecstatic when she saw him.¬† He was sickly for a few days, maybe due to the switch of dog food or the neutering procedure, but we gelled as a family.¬† I took to walking him and being awakened at sunrise by the dog to take him out to water his favorite lamp post.¬† The fresh air was good; seeing sunrise was wonderful.¬† Walking him at night was good exercise.¬† I really enjoyed this.¬† There are three of us here, so I usually only walk him once a day now.¬† It seems I was able to handle the responsibility; I just needed to make room in my life and in my heart for this.¬† I think it made my heart bigger.

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My son did not take to the dog ecstatically; it was just another responsibility.¬† A few times, he asked why I wanted a dog.¬† I told him it was fun, and it was.¬† Our first time at the dog park months later was the cutest thing. Bixby loved it, but my son just took a long walk.¬† Now, years later, he plays with the dog more, and if asked, he will walk him.¬† He smiles when playing with the dog and when hold the leash if we go to the trails to walk.¬† It obviously has enriched his life as well.¬† The dog will be in my mom’s room at bedtime, and sometime in the middle of the night, he seems to end up on my bed.¬† I tell people he loves us equally.¬† He has two mamas to spoil him, and my son to play rough with, as well as my boyfriend who loves to play chase with him but also will stroke his belly.¬† Bixby will stay still at least an hour for a good belly rub.

BixbyAttentionSpring.1511017189_10204309156118039_5310059356135541166_n¬†¬†Winter fur.¬† We normally keep him trimmed! ūüôā

Since getting the dog, I have added several other things to my life, such as service to my church and writing and self-publishing.¬† I think getting Bixby was just the start of it, helping me to say “Yes, I can do this” and to make time for wonderful things that are rounding out my life and who I am as a person.

So, this ends my dog-centered Weekend Coffee Share.¬† My Cold brew Con Leche was delicious.¬† I hope you have enjoyed your choice of java as well.¬† My dog is currently at the front window, guarding me from whoever had just walked by.¬† You’ve got to appreciate their efforts to love us, calm us, and protect us.

 

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Bixby is the star of my short book, From Lost to Loved, a Stray Dog’s Tale. ¬†I tried to imagine why such a great dog would ever be a stray.¬† It makes a great gift in paperback for doglovers young or old (Age 8 to 98+), and has a happy ending.¬† If you want to read it first on your own, it is in Kindle for free for a limited time.¬† Find your Kindle copy or order a paperback at: https://www.amazon.com/Lost-Loved-Stray-Dogs-Tale-ebook/dp/B073XTV2JF

Lost to Loved

A wonderful experience of combining two things I really love!  Have a great week!

Monument. #amwriting #flashfiction

PHOTO PROMPT © Ted Strutz

Monument.  (c) Pamela Schloesser Canepa, 2018

“And here, ladies and gents, is a monument to bygone transportation and musical devices.¬† It is simply called, ‘Round.’

Little Tommy gazed in awe, imagining a time when humans did not know how to use air currents to get them moving.¬† When the tour guide’s head was turned, he spun one of the wheels.¬† Sure enough, it moved around.¬† He blew on it to make it continue.

“Wrong,”¬† Grandpa whispered loudly.¬† “There were pedals on each side you’d move with your legs.¬† So you’d get exercise.¬† No atrophy problem.”

What’s that?¬† Tommy wondered, pushing the button on his hover-cart.

~99 words~

**Every Friday, a new photo is posted for the Friday Fictioneers Challenge that will stay up for a week.¬† Those interested, are challenged to write a story in 100 words or less based on the photograph.¬† Please visit¬†https://rochellewisoff.com/2017/12/27/22-december-2017/ to enter your response and/or view the other responses to this week’s photo prompt!

Time Travel, Mom Style #throwback, 2014

 

 

HandMold2IMG_0003   Written June, 2014.  Ready to share~

To my left is a wax mold of my son’s hand, done on his birthday when he was just turning 8, ten years ago.¬† I touch it, and hold it in my hand.¬† It is not his hand, yet, exactly the mold of his eight-year-old hand, and it sure takes¬† me back.¬† Some¬†souvenirs and items saved are simply an open door to the past, to some wonderful memories a parent would love to revisit.¬† Are they worth remembering?¬† You bet!

In ode to all the current movies focused on time travel, such as the latest X-men movie and the latest¬†Tom Cruise movie¬†(I didn’t even remember the name of it, just knew it as the latest Tom Cruise movie with a heavy sci-fi influence and part of his huge pattern, in which he, of course, wins the audience over despite his usual cockiness), which I found out is called “Edge of Tomorrow” when I bought the ticket.¬† Sorry for the run-on…..it’s just coincidental¬† that there are so many¬†excellent time travel movies right now, when my son’s high school years have ended and that long-awaited graduation has occurred, and he is spending a summer growing as a human being far away from me.¬†¬†The passage of time has confounded me.¬† All of which has prompted me¬†to think back, think forward, just think, of my son and the years that have flown past us.

He is away right now, for the summer or longer, and so,  I have time to do this and do it fondly.  There are no teenage mood swings in the house at the moment.  I have had time to do things I wanted to do for a while but had put off due to concern about getting him places or keeping him fed.  Things like trying hot yoga, doing regular volunteering, and getting out late for dancing one night.

But I still miss him,¬† I miss the boy he was, the moody teen he has been, and the man he is becoming.¬† Kids don’t get why we like to keep all these souvenirs of their baby days, their toddler years, their¬†youth.¬† I think I have learned that we do this because¬†it all flies by so quickly.¬† So I hold this wax hand replica and trace the details.¬† The chubby fingers, bigger than mine but shorter, the meaty hand that reminds one of the paws of a puppy that just hasn’t grown into them yet, but is destined to grow much bigger and taller, leaving its puppyhood behind.¬† I recall those years so well.¬† He was getting taller, but not really tall for his age, just average.¬† Yet he’d had a growth spurt and was all legs and skinny arms.¬† Not much fat on him at all, yet he still had those adorable chubby cheeks.¬† Some may call that an awkward stage, as it was, but it was so adorable to me!

Funny enough, one of his favorite movies that he loved to watch and rewatch, sometimes countless times in a week or even a day, was Back to the Future, from age 7 to 10.¬† He loved the concept of time travel and really had an imagination for the same kinds of movies that sparked my interest!¬† This brings me to my next open door item, found while cleaning up his room to find old un-needed items for a yard sale.¬† Boy, this takes me back, to a different kid, when we lived in a different house.¬† I was even a different person then. ¬†It is a once blank journal, which he undertook to fill with chapters and chapters of an amazing, you guessed it, time travel book!¬† Being a teacher of English whose hobby is writing, you can imagine how this pleased me!¬† It is titled “The Book’s Been Under the Chair for a Long Time!”¬† It stars Tom and Huck, who happen to find a time machine and go back to World War II (one of Austen’s favorite eras) and forward to 2007.¬† He wrote a start date of 2003, going up to 3003.¬† He even used dialogue, and he gave every chapter a name.¬† Extra points!¬† In the front, he wrote:¬† “Who does this book belong to?”¬† and wrote my name.¬† Did he perhaps know I would always want to keep it?¬† He got up to Chapter 21 (short chapters) and, wouldn’t you know it, the book has now been under something or stashed away in the back of his closet “for a very long time!”¬† My guess is at age 10 or 11, when puberty started setting in.¬† And isn’t that how it goes?¬† We start to consider old hobbies or goals to be childish and no longer useful to us.¬†¬†¬† We hide them away, in exchange for video games (most boys I know), facebook (these days) , or trips to the mall (that was the young me)….

I don’t know if he would understand how much it meant to me to find this.¬† I am so proud of him for so many things.¬† He has quite an interest in conspiracy theories and could write on that topic.¬† He¬† excelled in Senior English and probably wrote great things I won’t see.¬† I am proud of his word skill and where it may take him.¬† I look back, and I am proud to say it was always there.¬† I¬† hope that, upon his return home, whether it be for a temporary or extended amount of time, that he will think back on the memory of this undertaking fondly, and understand how it warms my spirit to look through the pages.¬†¬† Perhaps it will take him back as well, warming his spirit with glimpses of a child with confidence and hope.¬† I plan to encourage him to continue the story!

Shared today at “Meet and Greet,” http://dreambigdreamoften.co

Shared on 6/20 at http://acookingpotandtwistedtales.com/2016/06/17/featured-posts-78-share-your-post-links/

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