Weekend Coffee Share, Spring Forward!

Welcome to my Weekend Coffee Share, hosted by Natalie the Explorer. Today is a Zen green tea day. Is it coffee for you? The sun is shining; I drank half of my tea before leaving, but now I’m back four virtual chat, as I finish my second half of my green tea. It’s honestly good at any temperature. Don’t judge!

This week seemed like such a busy one. I was trying to get grades done, motivating students to finish things, and trying to keep them busy and out of trouble with all of their excitement for the upcoming Spring break. Not always easy. I was very proud of some students, but others just disappointed me. I went to the chiropractor Thursday and got the manual adjustment again. It relaxed me as usual, and I woke up Friday, ready for the day.

At nine this morning, my mom and I went to my church for the meeting of Bag Ladies, a group that gathers monthly to assemble bags for children whose parent left an abusive situation and are entering into temporary residence at Hubbard House. Frequently, they leave home quickly without packing a suitcase. It’s such a good mission, and those who run it are such nice people!

Bag Ladies is a mission of our church I always wanted to join. They pack these care bags with a children’s book, stuffed animal, toothbrush and other necessities a family might forget when leaving in a hurry. Hubbard House keeps their shelter location secret. You can find out more about their organization here: https://www.domesticshelters.org/help/fl/jacksonville/32201/hubbard-house

So, it’s been a nice morning so far. I usually am just lazy Saturday mornings. I feel I’ve earned it after a week teaching middle school. However, the Bag Ladies mission happens once monthly, and I can certainly give that much. Mom agreed for some of her beanie baby collection to be donated today for the Bag Ladies group, so that clears out a little bit of stuff from our garage. Now, I have to decide what sort of cardio I’ll do today.

Beanie babies sure are cute…

I’m planning to get a pedicure later, and tomorrow, I’ll go to the Celtic Fest with Chris to see my favorite Scottish band, Albannach. While I am only 7 percent Scottish, drums and bagpipes really do energize me! It’s also a great way to welcome Spring in coinciding with the start of my Spring Break!

Albannach!

That’s what I have going on these days. How do you plan to welcome Spring in? Are you in an area that is currently still snow covered? If so, have a second cup of hot coffee for me! I look forward to some relaxation this week, time with friends, and time with Bixby, of course! Have a wonderful weekend, all!

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Midweek Musings, The Drive

I used to drive to work every morning with a list of things in my head that I must do when I get there, since nothing is ever completely done. The “list” would stress me out before I even got to work!

Now, I lose myself in a song. Somehow, I’ve grown into the ability to do that. Needless to say, my job as a teacher is stressful. Sometimes in my life, my family life has been stressful. Perhaps it has all worn on my nerves like a repetitive stress type of condition. I am making headway, I think. Why stress about work before I even get there? I enjoy my music, and keep my mind clear. Stress can wait!

Some would say I’m just letting the music hypnotize me, but we often give ourselves over to worry, anxiety. So now, I see I can give my mind to a good lyric, an inspiring melody–one that I’ve chosen. It doesn’t stop me from getting ready once I get to work, and my mind is more at ease when I’m preparing to let kids into class and make them feel welcome. Heck, I can make notes that will be there waiting when I get there. No need to stress myself to remember!

A Day in My Life, Day 28

Jan. 29th- Day 28 of #ADayinMyLife

Welcome to Sunday sit-back-and-relax! I sleep in late, which was so much needed, and spent time with my man last night sharing laughter and a little poetry, which was also much needed!

My side of town was mercilessly busy last night. Chris and I had a hard time getting seating at Chili’s, so we went to a smaller scale place for him to get a burger. I was chilly,so I had soup and a Mediterranean wrap.

After that, we went to his place and started watching The Palest Blue Eye on Netflix. One of the characters is a young Edgar Allan Poe. It is quite intriguing those slow-moving. I believe I fell asleep halfway through, and Chris understood, because sleep is important to both of us!

At any rate, this morning, I’ve been hanging out with my dog, Bixby, listening to Alanis Morrissette’s A Jagged Little Pill. Oh, it brings back memories of the 1990s, of my divorce, of my reintroduction to freedom, and the first time I started dating Chris a year after my divorce. It was not the right time for us back then. Anyhow, it also later got me through lonely times as well, learning to enjoy just spending time with myself.

Internet image of Alanis’ album.

After her album, I went back to listening to Lord Huron, a more relaxing vibe for today. It was mostly a day for errands to prepare for the new work week, but I had time to relax and read. After dinner, my son and I watched the last halt of The Pale Blue Eye. In it, Poe is a young cadet at a military academy where several murders occur and helps in solving them. In reality, Poe did attend the Military Academy in Virginia. The actor has an eerie look as you’d think young Poe would have. All well done!

Have a good night, everyone. I’m amazed that I’ve done 28 days of blogging daily!

Day 15, A Day in My Life. #RRBC

Day 15, January 16, Monday and Martin Luther King Day. Good morning, sunshine! Welcome to day 15 of #ADayinMyLife.

We stayed at the rental condo with my dad and his significant other last night (as mentioned in yesterday’s post), and waking was beautiful in such a location! I slept well, too, and so did my son. He was awake and making coffee by the time I got down stairs.

I’m quite a fan of the morning sun!

We went back to The Oasis for brunch. I had eggs, which I only eat once in a while. We came back and Austen and I loaded the car and headed back home. The drive was peaceful and without event, each of us listening to our own music. I was listening to an album by Live, an alt/ hardcore spiritual band from the 90s. That’s the best way I can describe it. The sounds wakes me up and yet, makes me think. Take a listen:

https://youtu.be/G1fgPshhUQo, Walk in a Dream

“The only thing we had in common was, we knew there was something more…” I love their sound and their lyrics! I don’t like distance driving, but this c.d. had me in a capable, trusting place.

We’ll see my dad and Patsy again later this week. I like her, she’s very interesting and has published some poetry books. I plan to check out her YouTube channel later.

I got home to see that my new lamp had arrived from Amazon. I’ve been needing a lamp or a night light in my room for a while. Well, I just want to shaped like a tree, and I call it my fairy tree light. It’s beautiful!

I think it looks magical!

This will really help when I want to read a book in bed. Even though I read on Kindle, which glows, I need to see where I’m going. This even has a remote. Life really is beautiful when you let the beauty in!

In the afternoon, I had a dermatologist appointment to get some moles checked and removed. No big deal, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, yada, yada. I am a hypochondriac, I think, but if it saves my life, it’s worth it.

This evening, maybe after dinner, I plan to head to the gym for cardio. Tomorrow I’m back to work. So it goes. At least I’ll be reading in bed tonight next to my fairy light tree! Or fairy tree light…. potato, potawto .😉

A Day in My Life, Day 5 #RRBC #ADayinMyLife

Day 5 #ADayinMyLife, 1/06/23

Good morning on what is the fifth day of my daily blogging. This morning, I listened to Lord Huron as I got ready. I find this song particularly dreamy and beautiful and love his voice and the instruments used:

Music frequently sets, and helps, my mood for the day. That, and a good, healthy breakfast, as you may know by now! 🙂

School went by quickly, as I had students doing a move about activity called “carousel.” Since they have a test next Tuesday, I wanted to have some review. I gave them a unit test from our curriculum guide that was highly based on poetry, which is something we haven’t studied since before Thanksgiving. They were able to use notes and my anchor chart posters in my room. There was a gallery of drawings in the hall with questions on them for part two.

I had emailed my principal to see if she might stop by and see what we were doing. After first period, I felt that things were going well despite students chattiness. They were really engaged! The drawings in the hall were done by students and also contained dialogue between characters which applied to types of reasoning and argument. When the principal came by, she had a smile on her face. It was wonderful! She really praised the students as well. Win/win!

After the workday, I ordered dinner through Doordash, glad to eat dinner and take in a show on Netflix. I’ve started watching New Amsterdam, a medical drama that is just wonderful so far!

Time to put my feet up on the couch and let my hair down. Have a great evening!

Weekend Coffee Share, Milestones

Welcome to my Weekend Coffee Share, hosted by Natalie the Explorer. Good morning! Join me with my V8 and green matcha tea. Yesterday was coffee day, and I needed it to handle that middle school energy. It is gray outside, but my home cafe is playing The Bandit, new from The Kings of Leon, and it brightens my spirit. That voice…From their new song, Supermarket:”I’m going nowhere, if you’ve got the time.” Why, yes, yes I do. Needless to say, their new album is on my Youtube playlist.

This song played on my car radio yesterday on my way home from work. It had been such a stressful day, and if I’m not careful, I’ll feel old because of it…but I am resisting! The Bandit reminds me of a mix of INXS and U2, bringing thoughts of the Spring of my 15th year, a time of so many changes. Changes are not easy, but they are the hallmark of growth. So, I am going to focus on that today instead of talking about the stresses of my job. I feel I am managing them appropriately, and that’s all I need to say on that today. 🙂

I am surrounded by middle-schoolers going through vast changes, some growing wiser with their struggles, some consistent and solid yet growing taller or exhibiting voice changes. Others are struggling and reacting, and all I can do is try to reach them. I remember a lot of my ups and downs in the pre-teen and teen years and am able to look back and see the good in it all. This is a part of my job, to empathize and treat them with understanding. Again, if I focus on this instead of the stress of teaching in a pandemic in a system that does not have adequate resources, for instance, only two guidance counselors for a school of 1200 students. I play many parts at times and have learned to embrace that.

Yesterday morning, feeling the winds of Spring, I wrote this poem in response to my sometimes tired, challenged by middle schoolers, yet rejuvenated by the few who appreciate me feelings: https://pamelascanepa.wordpress.com/2021/04/16/spirit/

Age 15.

My son seems to be doing well on his own. His job and responsibilities are perhaps keeping him focused. I text him every morning. He always replies quickly. So, I know he is waking up and going to work. Working keeps him on a straight path, gives him purpose, and this is good. His 25th birthday is Monday. Yikes! So many memories will come back. My doctor, the doctor who delivered him, is retiring this year. Fitting, in the year my son is reaching for independence. May this reach be successful!

Memories and Milestones! 1996

Have a great weekend, friends and fellow bloggers! Keep it light, keep it hopeful, and always carry some sort of shovel for the days that the murky depths which you must navigate are especially thick and deep. We’ve got this! Namaste!

Weekend Coffee Share. Cafe Music and Pre-Springtime State of Mind

Welcome to my Weekend Coffee Share! The sun is shining through the window blinds on this crisp morning, and the cafe is the place to be! My ‘cafe’ is currently playing songs by Nina Simone and Billie Holiday, and there’s a click of my dog moving about on the floor until he settles at my feet again. It all sounds heavenly to me. I haven’t “hung out” in a real cafe in quite some time. So, I’ve created my own. We’ll converse virtually.

It’s a coffee drinking day! I have abstained from coffee for the last four days, due to my desire for better sleep and less anxiety or stress tension. I don’t think coffee is the whole problem, but I promised myself I would drink the green matcha tea more often, as it fuels me enough and is supposedly healthier. Still, this is my reward today, since I slept great last night and actually, most nights this week. Coffee goes so well with Simone’s “My Baby Just Cares for Me.” Piano and/or horns and a sultry voice just bring Spring closer to my heart.

Spring is scratching on our car windows, flirtatiously telling us she is near. “Be ready,” she calls. A rainy week has washed a lot of pollen off of our cars and into the streets. Florida is confused, but heck, that is nothing new. Having lived here since I was eight (with an 8 month misled venture out to OK for the sake of love), I’m used to it. Last night it got close to the thirties but our Florida sun is brightening this day.

I went along, day after day this week with a number of gray, rainy days. Having Monday off was great. Wednesday after school I had the Newspaper Club meeting. We accomplished a lot, I believe! Some are unsure of themselves with writing, so I pair them up, and it has helped. I am trying to make it a welcome place for anyone to find their voice. This was the third week. On the evenings after Newspaper Club, I am pretty tired. I get to bed and fall asleep with ease, and if I wake up in the middle of the night, I get right to sleep. It is good work, something that I am enthused about and that is turning out to be really good for me.

It’s becoming clear to me that I write a lot about my struggles. That’s because I am human. When I am honest with others about that, they are more honest with me. Add to that fact that, my struggles that I’ve overcome are a part of who I am. In my everyday life, I am teaching students who need to feel comfortable expressing themselves in my classroom, so I believe this is beneficial.

Keeping things in or hiding things about ourselves is difficult, too difficult. It results in us alienating ourselves; I know, because I did this drastically four years ago, when my son went through a really hard time with emotions and mind issues after a car accident and head injury. I felt like a failure as a parent. There were struggles he had with himself and that I had with him in the household. I kept so much bottled inside and felt really depressed since I was bottling up the stress. Not very healthy.

Glad that I’m beyond that, I have a few close friends that I can confide in. His struggles are much better, and he has held down a job for two years. I see that I wrote a lot about my stresses back then as well, and that’s a good thing. It helped me to hang on.

Having gone through the shoulder injury last year and educating myself on dealing with arthritis pain has helped me acquire healthier habits. There is a true link between anxiety, body tension, and pain. I’m still working on all of it.

Writing is sporadic, but I will not give up. Perhaps I will move more into autobiographical writing. Journaling is a more frequent process for me in “getting things out.” Blogging is a sort of journaling. It’s all good.

The sunshine outside my windows is representing my current state of mind. I’ve gotten through many things recently, COVID fear being part of them, and I just don’t feel as fearful anymore. Sitting at home in the computer chair all day is not an option! I can do this. You’ve likely heard me say that before. 🙂

**Weekend Coffee Share is a weekly bloggers’ feature that many across the globe have joined. Search for or use the hashtag #weekendcoffeeshare and tell me about your cafe of choice and the goings on in your part of the world. Have a great week!

#WeekendCoffeeShare. Picture a Future

Good morning, and welcome to my Weekend Coffee Share!  I’m sipping a peach mango V8, but there is coffee or tea available. I won’t judge…

I thought of writing last night to work on the character of Ellie. I have left her in a precarious situation. I already know how her story ends. She is a warrior. I just haven’t worked out how she escapes her predicament that I was last pondering. All good things take time, I suppose.  Before that, I was composing this post in my head; to quote T.S. Eiliot: “How do I spit out the butt ends of my days and ways…” Sounds ugly, so maybe I am instead painting rainbows out of my doings. 

The last week had a few dark and uncomfortable days tainted by reality.  I can’t give specifics but it is the nature of my job to sometimes deal with uncomfortable situations.  I am so often thankful these days that I started on the journey to grapple with my anxiety and accept the doctor’s diagnosis of Generalized Anxiety Disorder a year ago, just 3 months before COVID hit my area of the world. 

I lighten the air with fantasy, envisioning talking flowers or animals, as if in a cartoon.  I do this for me and for my students.  Some days shine with meaning and purpose, while other days, I just respond to my needs.  Breakfast, shower, clothing, work, work, work, decompress, dinner, exercise. Sleep. Socialization and emotional connection fits in somewhere, but it is so different in this socially-distanced era.

Friday nights I put my feet up, with my loyal dog at my side.  I tire of watching someone else’s stories, though, having them stuffed down my throat, and I picture my own. They cannot be as terrible as the world today. Maybe they foretell of a brighter future, where we build the world we want to live in. Certainly not a world of cyber-bullying, sex-trafficking, or violence.  We owe our children better than this.  We need to teach them it is not alright, teach them how to turn the tides.

Who will teach the children to dream a new tomorrow, so they can make it true? To create better moments instead of just reacting?  At night I train myself not to worry about the future of our children, or unseen threats and my own assumptions. I try, but training takes time. It’s an ongoing work in progress, one step up and two steps back…sometimes, 3 steps ahead, others, going nowhere.  That’s okay though. 

In the meantime, I love the sound of my dog snoring, love the cool evening air when I let him out and the morning sun peeking through window blinds.

I try to ponder these things and think of nothing else.

Sometimes it works, and my breathing slows.

I try, but sometimes the trying takes time.

Yet, I try, and sometimes the trying is a victory…

So, still, I try.

If all else fails, laugh like no one is watching. Not so glam, but it feels great!

In other news, ‘coronophobia’ is now a valid term, researchers say.  I work amongst middle school children daily, and I lean down (masked) when I can’t hear them talk.  I social distance as much as possible, but I am not always behind my desk shield. I think I have good days and bad days, so I am not going to adopt that term; however, I believe it is real. 

My phobias stem from so many other things, and yes, a healthy dash of hypochondria at times.  It may have started with a hospitalization at age eight because I wasn’t eating right. My blood count was very low. I felt so alone for those few days, as Mom had to be at home with my three-year-old brother.

Suffice it to say, hospitals can really trigger me today.  I have to be mindful.  So here I am, dredging up my past.  Therapy can lead to that. You think about why your mind goes to certain places. It is very helpful, though, in framing your thoughts, as if you are taking a picture of a moment that makes you feel triggered, yet you take the looming clouds out of it, because, it was only your mind that put them there and interpreted them as a threat or an ominous portend.  I still can put up my guard, but now I can laugh at myself when I am overthinking things. 

Thanks for joining me. I’m going to run into the kitchen to get my green tea, and you are welcome to a refill.  The ‘cafe’ is playing something by Ben Harper, a guitar solo called “Winter is for Lovers.” Interesting idea on this rainy Valentine’s Day weekend! My ‘bae’ and I will go out for Mediterranean food tonight, and I’m cooking him spaghetti on Sunday.  Have a great weekend, send out some love to the world, and stay the course my friends!

#WeekendCoffeeShare. Top 10 Sounds Accompanying my Morning

Noting the sounds around me is part of a mindfulness exercise from the book, Mindfulness Journal for Beginners. This exercise can help you to be more in the moment, especially if you are a worrier or an overthinker like I am. Here’s my top 10 for this morning:

1. I woke up hearing my son’s steps in the hall on his way to work. That gives me an idea of the time, and there was no need to sleep late, I had a good night’s sleep!

2. The pitter-patter of my dog’s feet on the tile floor, excited to wake me up, or is he urgently needing to get outside?

3. My dog’s sneeze and snuffle as he’s telling me he wants to go out. He doesn’t use his bark much to communicate, but rather, uses facial expressions and other sounds.

Bixby loves to move!

4. Geese flying overhead as I step out back with the dog. Those geese just love Northeast Florida, don’t they?

5. Soft rain drops, not even a sprinkle;  well, actually,  I  think it is just drips from the roof. No…now it is sprinkling. A peaceful sound.

6. Some construction machine,  probably blocks away, but not a bothersome sound.

7. My Keureg Coffee machine brewing my half-caff Hazelnut. Yes, it’s time for a coffee day! You may have whatever you like!

8. A Youtube mix containing Of Monsters and Men hits, one of my favorite bands. The urgent Winter Sound will wake you up and fill you with determination; the mysterious Slow Life could just take you into deep sleep. The lyrics of many of their new songs are quite thought-provoking. I may switch to Miles Davis when the coffee is done brewing.

9. There is the usual tick-tock of the clock, but I can drown it out by turning the music up, and sometimes that is what I prefer.

10. If this were a real coffee shop, I’d hear the lull of voices discussing how good their coffee is, our wildest dreams and goals (owning a farm with many dogs and creating a writers’ camp, becoming a comedienne), or the antics of an interesting member in their family. It all sounds good, as I am vowing to have some me time later and not to focus much on my job today.

Okay, I suppose I must share one thought from my week, as I challenge myself to form a mindset that helps me survive the everyday stress and the pandemic distance:

“Don’t grow up too fast, but if you must, save the good moments of your childhood: running through sprinklers, dressing up as imaginary characters, laughing at ridiculous things. They will help you through many hard times as an adult.” -Pamela S. Canepa

Or, to quote a more famous author: “Don’t grow up too fast, Darling. Age is inevitable, but if you nurture a childlike heart, you’ll never, ever grow old.” -Beth Hoffman

My most important goal.

How are things in your world? I thank you for stopping by. Have a great weekend and an even better week!

#WeekendCoffeeShare, My World

Welcome to my Weekend Coffee Share, where we sit and respond to the ideas that form in our minds, accompanied by the cutest mutt at my feet and David Bowie music in the background. I think it’s a nice little coffee shop, personally. I’m drinking green matcha tea, but you may have your drink of choice. The sun is up, and I’m feeling bright today!

A new day is dawning! There are a lot of changes in our nation coming up, and in my mind as I navigate my health. I try to deal with the worry; it’s a little chaotic, but one can choose to harness the chaos in order to create or destroy. I have new ideas and hope something is going to pan out at work. This would be a bright spot in my work-week while we grow closer to testing season, which, as I live in Florida, is sure to be thrown at us like it’s business as usual despite the COVID pandemic. You know state testing is a money-making venture, right? (*This is not necessarily the opinion of my employer; these are my views alone).

Meanwhile, I am investing in the socio-emotional aspects of teaching and my students’ needs. I’ll admit, there are some I don’t reach, but most of my days are pleasant despite the chaos of middle-school changes. We can harness the chaos and use it for good! I believe that. I will present the proof when it presents itself, LOL! Still, believing it is keeping me going right now. At home, I am keeping up with exercise, eating healthy, and filling up my mind then learning to tune it down when it’s time to relax. I’ve found working a puzzle keeps me from worry, and good thing, because it’s hard to maintain a social life during the pandemic.

Yeah, I haven’t perfected it yet. This week I’ve been making up creative projects for my Highly Advanced and Gifted kids based on Fears and Phobias or Animal Wisdom. It requires some work time at home. I’ll work a little more on that while the ‘cafe’ is quiet. My dog deserves a walk later though, and I could use the sunshine.

I may have mentioned before that I have a little bit of writer’s block lately. I am dealing with anxiety and ways to tune down the noise when I need to sleep. Journaling helps me release frustrations, and I am not at the point where I can share all of this or convert it to cathartic fiction, though I believe that may happen one day. I did write a poem based on fear and how it blocks our creative energies and ability to be there for others or to show love. You may read it here: https://pamelascanepa.wordpress.com/2021/01/08/the-occupation/

It’s quiet in this cafe right now except for the music playing and the occasional pitter-patter of my dog’s feet on the tile floor. Right now, Harlem River by Kevin Morby is playing, a new song I discovered by accident, a little jazzy, bluesy, and sultry with electric guitar in the background. Check it out! I’m typing while it’s quiet, but I look forward to your shares of what’s going on in your world. Have a great week, everyone, and be optimistic. Change can be a great thing, and if it’s not, we will adapt until change will come around again!