#WeekendCoffeeShare Stream of consciousness. While I wait…

Welcome to my Weekend Coffee Share, hosted by Allison at Eclectic Ali. It’s been quite a week. All is good now. Want to know? What’s it like to live a day in the life of someone awaiting a COVID test?

I know you want to know…just like that girl who asked me to describe what it’s like giving birth after I’d had my son. I summed it up…”It’s like the worst cramps you could ever imagine. ” She looked letdown. I did not communicate the drama, the fear, the excitement and the feeling that God is in that room and that I was a chosen one, to bear this pain and deliver this life. But I digress.

It should take 24 hours to get my test results…I hope. So I’m out of work today and will be again tomorrow. I think the moment by moment is agonizing.  My symptoms seem like that of having a cold, my glands are swollen and that’s what troubled me. Children have been sick at school and leaving early. Today, the soup I ate for lunch is sitting wrong with my stomach. I’m just going to be raw and honest here. We should all do that more.

I heard someone somewhere use the phrase that when they write it’s like God is guiding them. Are they seeing that bearded man in the sky reach down his hand to guide the pen? I’m not.

Yes, there certainly is a muse. She is a younger, but wiser me who would have spoken up for herself many times when I didn’t. She pops things into my head, and I become amused, inspired, thinking, “Yeah, I should do something with that thought.” If I’d heeded her sooner I would have traveled much more, written long before I did, and done more exciting things.

I don’t think there’s an angel guiding me, and when I write, it is not holy. I write to escape demons. Or, more specifically, to purge them. I imagine a kaleidoscope of vomit spewing forth from my mouth or through my pen and onto the paper. They are not horrible things that I did, but they are things that always make me feel I am less, they are things that some would, or would have once, defined me as. Trailer trash. Product of divorce. Daughter of an alcoholic. Navy brat. Divorcee. People make assumptions about these things. I could perfectly fix my hair and makeup and look like I had all the privilege I could besides that of race. I could dress like a professional working woman and mother and no one would know the crap I’d put up with from my husband at home. It was eating me up.

You’ve gotta spit up those demons somehow or they will give you an ulcer or some other GI disorder. They’ll eat at you and travel to your nerve endings causing serious sensitivity and pain issues. So, this is why I don’t think my writing is ‘touched by an angel.’ It is human, it is real, it is of this earth. Though everything I write has a message for someone, that you are not alone, it is not going to convert anyone and I suppose it won’t get me into heaven. But that’s not the point, is it? The point is to make something beautiful out of the tough lessons we’ve learned or the crap we’ve been given.

And I probably don’t sound like a good Christian, but I’m going to thank God he gave me this ability. It has helped me to dream and imagine myself into better realities. It has helped me survive.

***Thank you for stopping by and reading. I have a few constant encouragers, and I thank you so much for this. My test was negative, and my allergies were the cause. I felt so much better yesterday. Covid anxiety is serious. Today being World Mental Health day, let’s all be kind to each other!

Weekend Coffee Share. “Generating Heat” #amwriting

coffee-842020__340                     Photo credit, Pixabay.

Happy Saturday, everyone, and welcome to my Weekend Coffee Share, hosted by Allison at  https://eclecticali.wordpress.com  I haven’t done one of these in a while, in fact, the last time I did one my coffee was iced.  Of course, that normally wouldn’t mean anything since I am in Florida, but this past week, we’ve been going through a cold spell.  I’ve been indoors a lot, writing very little since my desk is by a drafty window.  I’ve been reading and watching Netflix, though.  I’ve been wearing layers and layers every time I step out.  We got down to the upper 20’s one night, even!  No snow here, but they did get some flurries in Tallahassee.  However, we got our share of ice.  Hence, my title, “Generating Heat.”

To generate heat, one must burn calories.  Funny, to do so also generates energy, so it all fits with my word for the New Year!  I’ve decided, instead of making a New Year’s resolution, I will focus on a keyword for the New Year:  Energy.  While I’ve had very little writing focus due to my drafty window (and the holidays) this last week, I wrote a post on my New Year’s focus word that you may view and read here, if interested: A Word for My Intentions

During the week, I attempted to visit a senior woman from church that I visit regularly.  She is in a nursing home.  Since social interaction is so beneficial, they don’t keep their patients holed up in their rooms, which is great.  However, there had been a few patients with flu symptoms, and visitors were not allowed for a few days. These things happen, I suppose.  Flu has been going around.  I can only imagine how rough that would be for elderly patients who aren’t completely mobile.  I was able to get out to get together for dinner one night with my work buddies.  It was fun, and the Italian food was excellent.  Other than that, I was indoors a lot this last week.

At any rate, in the spirit of generating energy so that I can be positive toward others, I’ve been going to more challenging yoga classes.  I haven’t even fallen down, but I sure do modify in every class.  You see, my ‘Energy’ goal will hopefully bring about better health, and even mental health, as far as positive mindset.  Positive thinking generates positive results, right?  Yes, I believe it does.  I also, having time on my hands this Winter Break, have to force myself off the couch or chair with upbeat music.  Monday, my choice was Sister’s of Mercy “This Corrosion” and then  “Danza Kuduro.”  “Danza” speaks for itself.  It is used in Zumba classes across the world, I am sure.  I used to do Zumba, and it was great exercise.  I get aches and pains these days and focus on low-impact yoga, but a 10-12 minute interlude at home is a good break in my day.  It is so upbeat, and I even remember a few of the moves from Zumba class.  Now, “This Corrosion” may not be anything you’ve ever heard of.  The Sisters of Mercy is alternative and may be even considered Gothic/Industrial, but this song was on the soundtrack for The Restaurant at the World’s End,  a funny, yet dark movie with Simon Pegg and a bunch of alien androids and a few other humans.  That’s what brought the song back to my memory.  Pegg’s character was my favorite of the humans, such a troubled, yet adventurous soul. His character even wears a Sister’s of Mercy t-shirt through much of the movie.  Anyhow, I used to dance to this sort of music, as well as 80’s New Wave, in my youth.  So, when I dance to it, I flail like an idiot, because who can remember how they danced 20-30 years ago?  I also reach down to get my dog to dance with me.  He barks the first time, then puts his feet up the next time I reach down.  It is glorious fun, such an energy builder, and thank God no one can see me!  But the dog…he may be secretly filming with a hidden camera… Oh, who cares!  It is all for the sake of being silly, and laughter burns calories too!

Music will definitely be my go-to source of energy.  I have made a pact with myself to do things that feed my energy.  My hope is the results will be a renewed energy in my job and focus/energy for writing.  My writing certainly needs to be more focused.  I don’t know how I ever got Detours in Time published in 2017, but I did.  I had a lot of help, and that is the way a professional does it.  I have written a sequel, and it is going through revision and beta-reading now.  In fact, I fleshed it out from 45,000 to 61,000 words this November.  That was my NANOWRIMO accomplishment on a small scale.  It definitely will be published in 2018, but I will need to keep my energy and focus going!  Most of what I have written lately has been flash-fiction, one of my first loves in writing.  However, one day I had thoughts running through my head about a character in the sequel whose life and goings-on I want to follow, whose story I want to tell.  He is young, a survivor, and still learning who he is.  I spent a few hours on the day of New Year’s Eve getting some of his story in writing.  We don’t control these ideas, do we? I already have a 4th installment in Norrie’s story from Made for Me, but I haven’t touched it after writing 4,000 words three months ago.  She will come to me later with more of her story.  I really sometimes believe that is the way it happens!  Writers, I am not alone in this feeling, am I?  I’d love to be more organized, but, I’ll have to go with what works for my brain.

It feels like I’m meandering here, but besides some of the brief writing “possession” and lack of focus I’ve experienced, I’ve been enjoying Netflix and went to two movies over Winter Break.  This is a big deal; I hadn’t been to a movie since Wonder Woman or Dr. Strange.  Not sure which, I may have my order mixed up; it was whichever came out last summer.  I didn’t even get out to see the new Bladerunner, and I am such a rabid fan.  I know I was busy writing in November.  No worry though, it comes out for Netflix in January and I already have it on order!  I took my mom to see Thor:  Ragnorok last week, and she loved it for the brawny Thor character and the powerful women it depicted.  She didn’t get the mythology and back-story, but I loved it all.  On New Year’s Eve, my sweetheart and I saw Star Wars: The Last Jedi.  It was a great movie!  We were in a theater with reclining seats, and I had drank a hot toddy with dinner; that may have been a mistake, but anyway, I got the gist of the movie, and I enjoyed it.  On the homefront, I have had time for Netflix and my ongoing obsession with Haven.  Audrey has come back again!  Seriously, I love this show, but my favorite was when everyone in town thought it was Christmas in July all brought about by a snow globe.  That one definitely had a Stephen King feel to it.  I’ve also already seen all of Season 2 of Glitch.  There seem to be plot holes galore, maybe because they’re saving things for the next season,  but the setting and the whole idea of second chances is quite intriguing.  I also hear there are more Black Mirror episodes.  That one really makes me think.  I have to be ready when I watch it.

Truly, I do look forward to warmer weather.  My dog can’t even enjoy his walks these days.  He does his business, then turns back toward the house.  I owe him a dog park visit come warmer weather!  Being indoors a lot, I am reading too:  still reading Outlander, the Fiery Cross, alternating between Kindle and Audiobook.  It is so long.   I’m over halfway done though, and I’ll feel very accomplished when I finish! Sometimes I take a break to read one of many books on Indie publishing, marketing, or writing.  Perhaps my word for 2019 will be Focus!  Nah, too soon to decide that.

Thanks for visiting my Weekend Coffee Share!  You may read other coffee shares and/or submit your own at https://eclecticali.wordpress.com/2018/01/05/weekendcoffeeshare-the-library-was-loud-and-this-weekend-will-be-quiet/   clicking the blue frog icon to enter yours.

That’s the gist of my week.  How was your week?

 

#weekendcoffeeshare Preoccupied!

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Happy Saturday morning to all! I started out this day sleeping relatively late, which I so needed! I had breakfast at my boyfriend’s house, dog in tow. (He really loves Kenny; they are like kindred souls). We got to hear a rooster crow while eating. I love his crazy neighborhood almost as much as mine, though mine is not so crazy but rather, peaceful and relaxing.  So is his, until the rooster crows!  I love #weekendcoffeeshare, because I can process, in words, my week and my state of mind while sharing my journey in writing and overall personhood.  I originally discovered #weekendcoffeeshare at parttimemonsterblog.com.  You should check out the link there after reading this!  Of course, you should share your coffee share and let me know about your week so I don’t feel so one-sided in the conversation!   Now, let me do this coffee share right, my friend. If we were having coffee, I’d tell you:
Life is hectic right now, but that’s not bad. My son’s car was totaled, and he’s waiting on paperwork and payment. Thank God he’s okay. I have to get an estimate on my car today, and work is as busy as ever! I’m so thankful for the upcoming holiday! I wrote on the subject of car accidents last week, too. I tell you, they are a long, drawn out hassle. Be careful out there!
Goals- Another reason my life is hectic. There’s so much I want to do with my life! I am not up to par with NANOWRIMO, but I have reached 25,000 words! I’ve decided I’ll just write all that I can, and see what I have at November’s end. It will be more than I’ve ever done in a month before. I went into this promising I was only competing with myself. Sometimes I even write for 1/2 hour as I drink my coffee before work, then force myself to clean up and get presentable. Well, one morning this week I couldn’t find my car keys for 20 minutes, until my mom asked, “Did you check the coat you wore to walk the dog last night?” What do you know, there they were!
Needless to say, I’m a little preoccupied, living in my main character’s head, her space and time. Then, I have to switch to work mode. The election last week was such a distraction as well, but I am ignoring every single political post this week.  There are other things in life.  Last night, it was such a treat just to sit back and watch Big Bang Theory and Seinfeld. I  nodded off not long after. 🙂
I likely won’t get much writing done today. There is so much to do, but I am also going to just spend some time with my boyfriend, my son, my dog and my mom. Life is good.

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Bixby, Kenny, and Kenny’s wonderful art in the background.

coffee-66507_640 My #weekendcoffeeshare

This is the cafe where you and I can imagine sitting and sharing the details of our week.  It’s been so busy, I haven’t had much time to just chat with another person and be normal.  Thanks for listening, my friend.  -Pamela

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