What’s in Your Heart? #FFfAW #amwriting

“Daddy,  why is everyone sad?”

“We’re honoring those whose loves were lost.”

“But isn’t the world good?  Why did someone kill them?”

“That someone was sick, honey.  He meant them harm, but he didn’t have any reason.  All we can do is spread our love, so there aren’t many more like him.”

“If you could be their daddy, they’d all want to spread love, too.  They’d never want to do harm.”

He smiled, and knelt down to put his arms around her.  Perhaps he had been doing this parenting thing right.

“I wish Mom was here to show her love to the world.”

“So do I, dear.”  He stood and took her hand again.

“She wishes she was here, too.  She still loves us, Daddy.  She tells me every night when I’m in bed.”

He squeezed her hand, this wonderful, intuitive creature, who was already so much like her mother.

~150 words~

 

To learn more about the weekly Flash Fiction challenge, go to flashfictionforaspiringwriters.wordpress.com

To see more of this week’s great stories, go to https://flashfictionforaspiringwriters.wordpress.com/2017/10/02/fffaw-challenge-week-of-october-3-2017/

Thank you to Elaine Farrington Johnson for this week’s photo prompt and inspiration!

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Cee’s Black and White Photo Challenge. Saying Goodbye to Summer. (I’ll be Back)!

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This post was perfect for today, since I was at the beach this morning.  Regretfully, I’m back to work next Monday.  This changes things because my son works on the weekends, while I am off on the weekends.  He just started this schedule a month ago.  At any rate, I’m sure we’ll find a way to adjust our quality time.  I had a nice morning walking the beach with him, getting good food at Maple St. Biscuits, and since he’s not much for conversation, playing Words with Friends with him on his phone. I’ve spent the last few years reading his cues and finding new ways to interact. Parenting. No two are alike.

The Black and White Photo Challenge was started at Cee’s Photography.  Visit https://ceenphotography.com/2017/08/03/cees-black-white-photo-challenge-walking-paths-and-trails/

CB&W CHALLENGE POST

  1. Then add a link to your blog in my comment box.
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#WeekendCoffeeShare: Out of Chaos…

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Photo courtesy of Pixabay.

Happy Saturday, fellow bloggers.  What a much needed Saturday it is!  Work has been hectic lately, life has been hectic, even my writing has felt hectic.  Welcome to my Weekend Coffee Share!  If we were having coffee today, on the 13th of May, I’d tell you:

Somedays work is really a challenge as we move closer to the end of the year.  However, I did something with my students to end out the week:  Collaborative Discussion.  I am pleased to say that I enjoyed it!  Yes, they’re still antsy because of Spring and the impending end of the school year, yes, I had to remind some of them to stop being silly, but they even made me laugh at some points.  I got to see that some of them have really grown in their thinking about our texts and in their self-expression.  That was priceless.

Life is, well, life.  I miss the A to Z Blogging Challenge, but I wouldn’t have time to blog every day anyhow.  I’ve had a hard time with my son turning 21.  I had to set some rules in writing for the household, which took some thought.  Still, I’m glad I did it.  It’s not easy seeing your child make mistakes or bad choices, and it’s also not easy standing back to see them fall flat on their face just to learn their lesson.  I had many years to teach those lessons, but he had two different households and two totally different parents influencing him.  I’ll go no further so as not to make this a venting session about my ex.  🙂

Writing.  I said it was hectic.  I regret not having time to enter the short story challenges here on WordPress.  It’s easy to meet other inspired writers that way, and it’s so rewarding to create a little world within 100-250 worlds.  I guess I miss that, too.  I’ll have to miss it because I’m working on editing my full-length time travel novel in the hopes of publishing it this summer.  It’ll be self-published, of course, because that is the way I do things right now.  Over the last month or two, I’ve read two books about self-publishing and promotion, one by Derek Murphy, which was very helpful and packed with ideas.  I recommend it.  The title is Guerrilla Publishing.

In the Writing/Author world, I have published a short story on Smashwords about a stray dog’s life until meeting his forever home called From Lost to Loved, A Stray Dog’s Tale for free download.  I have two freebie programs going on in the effort to get my name out there a little further.  One is a limited time Instafreebie where people can get my first novella, Made for Me, in digital form free when they sign up for my newsletter.  See it and sign up at https://instafreebie.com/free/UsMtE . The other is an Amazon giveaway of the e-book, Seeing Through Sampson’s Eyes, the darker, more dangerous progeny of Made for Me.  It only runs until about 9 p.m. tonight (May 13th), EST. This giveaway is aimed at getting more Amazon followers.  Plus, two more people will be reading my sci-fi, coming of age tale of a young woman whose dad wasn’t fully human.  Before tonight, you can enter at https://giveaway.amazon.com/p/35b50ae59e6ba24d

Why all of this at once?  I started the Amazon giveaway last night when I just had no energy for editing.  The brain must be in the right place, you know, and I was tired. When I am ready to release my full-length novel, I won’t have time for the rest of this.  These freebies can only help to get my name and my work out there.  I’ve had 74 entries for the Amazon giveaway since last night!  When I do the novel release, I may have to invest in a Twitter service for my other novels.  Plus, who knows if I may be editing and getting these last minute ideas for the novel right up until publishing?  I’ve never done so many stages of a novel for publication.  Some tell me this is how it’s really done.  I’m learning, though.  Now, I should stop talking about editing, and go back to actually editing!  I hope everyone has a great week!

The Weekend Coffee Share is hosted by Emily at nerdinthebrain.com.  I urge you to write your own #weekendcoffeeshare.  Be sure to use the hashtag in your post, then visit Emily’s latest at http://www.nerdinthebrain.com/weekendcoffeeshare-the-one-where-im-off-exploring-wacky-stuff/  and add your own to her link-up.

*If you’re wondering about my “chaotic” title, it’s just something jumping around in my brain that hasn’t found a place to land.  I couldn’t hold it in, though.  It sort of needs to take root before becoming a full idea.  I hope it didn’t cause confusion or leave you disappointed in the details of my week.  🙂  Hectic/ Chaotic.  All different shades of meaning.

#weekendcoffeeshare A New Year’s rollercoaster

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If we were having coffee today, I’d tell you how I don’t like rollercoasters anymore.  They make me feel whiplashed.  Well, whiplash (a metaphorical kind) is what my life gave me this last week.From watching a rented movie New Years Eve to time spent in an ER New Years Day, to spreading news of my first book now in paperback, I don’t think normal is meant for me.  Even keel?  I have to try hard to maintain it these days.

I am so grateful that through this last week that I’ve had the support of my mom, my significant other, and my church family.  Because New Year day was horrible, getting a call from Shands hospital that my son had been in a bad car accident.  They couldn’t tell me anything else, so I went down there.  And sat, and waited, for at least an hour before someone could tell me his status since nurses and doctors were really busy in the ER.  Let me tell you, that hour is the worst.  Shands is the leading trauma center in our city.  I knew that, and it made me even more worried, not knowing the extent of the accident.

Finally, I got details, and when I saw him they had him sedated and in a neck brace.  I worried about his state of mind.  The next day, when he was in a regular room, he was awake.  Thank God! A day later he was discharged, and he has a concussion.  Considering all of my worries, we are blessed that he got nothing worse.  My writing this week has been seriously affected by this event;  I didn’t work on any writing projects or add to any flash fiction challenges, but I did post a free verse poem that acknowledges the process and pain of a fellow traveler in the ER that day and my struggle of being between two places, grief and relief.  https://pamelascanepa.wordpress.com/2017/01/04/10117/

After resting at home a day,  he went back to work, and so did I.  That evening, I got an uplifting piece of news.  The work I did over Christmas break paid off!  I had gone into KDP at Amazon and converted my first ebook into a paperback.  I had to re-do it a few times, and then after hitting publish, it took a few days to go “live.”  My mother ordered one, and I wasn’t telling anyone until I saw that the finished product was presentable.  It was a lot of hard work to figure out the formatting and their requirements; formatting is not my forte.  But I persevered!  It looks good! I think I should have gone with a smaller trim size (or whatever it’s called).  My mom’s excited because many of her friends love reading but don’t have a Kindle.  Therefore, my writing is getting into the hands of more people, which excites me immensely!  You may view or purchase the paperback of my sci-fi romance, Made for Me, at  http://www.amazon.com/dp/1520250215, and here’s what it looks like:

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I had kept getting error messages about the text possibly getting cut off at the edges.  Well, it’s all there!  It was nice to get some good news after all that went on this week.  While I was a little down about not being able to work on any current writing projects, this came up and reminded me:  “Pam, this is who you are and what you do.  Nothing can take that away.  Rest if you need to, and then come on back to it.  You’ve achieved many things so far, and when ready, you’ll continue.”   That’s my self-talk to get me through the rest of the year.  *sighs with relief.

weekendcoffeesharelogo  Weekend Coffee Share is hosted at parttimemonsterblog.com and is a community effort shared by bloggers worldwide, where we share our insights, our comings-and-goings of the week, latest projects, or anything else under the sun.  Join the chat and add your link at parttimemonsterblog.com, while visiting some of the other posts.  I have met all types of writers and creative types through this effort!

 

1/01/17 Waiting. #freeverse #poetry

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Purgatory
Is the hospital waiting room
On New Year’s day.
News does not arrive, so I wait an hour.

Then wait some more.

A woman in the next room howls with grief.                                                                                      Her son is gone.

Her shock rings in my bones.

And I am stuck in between two places,

praying my emotions will soon soar with relief, yet feeling her pain.

I still wait.

A mother does this for her child…..              Still hoping the news is good,

I will go to the bowels of grief and unknowing pain for you, if that is the place to find you

Every time, when one time is too many to bear.                                                                            Even when torn apart, only to be pieced back together,                                                              these pieces of my heart.

I pray they won’t be broken again                                                                                                            while raising my chin to the heavens in thanks.

 

I am Mother. #Poetry

Photo taken in 2008. That’s my son and I; he was twelve at the time.  (And that’s 425 steps)!  A happy memory. 🙂 I have witnessed my son growing up drastically lately.  All part of the process.  I brought out this poem while reflecting on how much he has changed.

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copyright 2015, Pamela Schloesser Canepa

I am Mother.

I feed you, clothe you, house you.

I shield you from harm.

You are my child.

I am Mother.

I stand back and let you fall,

Teetering and learning how to get back up.

You are an adult.

How did it come to this?

It seems it happened overnight.

I am supposed to let go.

But what if something bad happens?

I am confused.

As you wallow in the mud,

how can I not reach in to help?

But then how would you learn,

to help yourself?

I am Mother.

I no longer make the rules.

Life won’t tell me what is next.

Nor will you.  Nor do you know.

I feel destined to fail.

I am  still Mother.

Though I will sometimes fail.

And you’ll tell me I’m wrong.

I still love you always,

Even when I gracefully lose.

I am still your Mother.

And I will never quit. 

 

 

Time Travel, Mom Style #throwback, 2014

 

 

HandMold2IMG_0003   Written June, 2014.  Ready to share~

To my left is a wax mold of my son’s hand, done on his birthday when he was just turning 8, ten years ago.  I touch it, and hold it in my hand.  It is not his hand, yet, exactly the mold of his eight-year-old hand, and it sure takes  me back.  Some souvenirs and items saved are simply an open door to the past, to some wonderful memories a parent would love to revisit.  Are they worth remembering?  You bet!

In ode to all the current movies focused on time travel, such as the latest X-men movie and the latest Tom Cruise movie (I didn’t even remember the name of it, just knew it as the latest Tom Cruise movie with a heavy sci-fi influence and part of his huge pattern, in which he, of course, wins the audience over despite his usual cockiness), which I found out is called “Edge of Tomorrow” when I bought the ticket.  Sorry for the run-on…..it’s just coincidental  that there are so many excellent time travel movies right now, when my son’s high school years have ended and that long-awaited graduation has occurred, and he is spending a summer growing as a human being far away from me.  The passage of time has confounded me.  All of which has prompted me to think back, think forward, just think, of my son and the years that have flown past us.

He is away right now, for the summer or longer, and so,  I have time to do this and do it fondly.  There are no teenage mood swings in the house at the moment.  I have had time to do things I wanted to do for a while but had put off due to concern about getting him places or keeping him fed.  Things like trying hot yoga, doing regular volunteering, and getting out late for dancing one night.

But I still miss him,  I miss the boy he was, the moody teen he has been, and the man he is becoming.  Kids don’t get why we like to keep all these souvenirs of their baby days, their toddler years, their youth.  I think I have learned that we do this because it all flies by so quickly.  So I hold this wax hand replica and trace the details.  The chubby fingers, bigger than mine but shorter, the meaty hand that reminds one of the paws of a puppy that just hasn’t grown into them yet, but is destined to grow much bigger and taller, leaving its puppyhood behind.  I recall those years so well.  He was getting taller, but not really tall for his age, just average.  Yet he’d had a growth spurt and was all legs and skinny arms.  Not much fat on him at all, yet he still had those adorable chubby cheeks.  Some may call that an awkward stage, as it was, but it was so adorable to me!

Funny enough, one of his favorite movies that he loved to watch and rewatch, sometimes countless times in a week or even a day, was Back to the Future, from age 7 to 10.  He loved the concept of time travel and really had an imagination for the same kinds of movies that sparked my interest!  This brings me to my next open door item, found while cleaning up his room to find old un-needed items for a yard sale.  Boy, this takes me back, to a different kid, when we lived in a different house.  I was even a different person then.  It is a once blank journal, which he undertook to fill with chapters and chapters of an amazing, you guessed it, time travel book!  Being a teacher of English whose hobby is writing, you can imagine how this pleased me!  It is titled “The Book’s Been Under the Chair for a Long Time!”  It stars Tom and Huck, who happen to find a time machine and go back to World War II (one of Austen’s favorite eras) and forward to 2007.  He wrote a start date of 2003, going up to 3003.  He even used dialogue, and he gave every chapter a name.  Extra points!  In the front, he wrote:  “Who does this book belong to?”  and wrote my name.  Did he perhaps know I would always want to keep it?  He got up to Chapter 21 (short chapters) and, wouldn’t you know it, the book has now been under something or stashed away in the back of his closet “for a very long time!”  My guess is at age 10 or 11, when puberty started setting in.  And isn’t that how it goes?  We start to consider old hobbies or goals to be childish and no longer useful to us.    We hide them away, in exchange for video games (most boys I know), facebook (these days) , or trips to the mall (that was the young me)….

I don’t know if he would understand how much it meant to me to find this.  I am so proud of him for so many things.  He has quite an interest in conspiracy theories and could write on that topic.  He  excelled in Senior English and probably wrote great things I won’t see.  I am proud of his word skill and where it may take him.  I look back, and I am proud to say it was always there.  I  hope that, upon his return home, whether it be for a temporary or extended amount of time, that he will think back on the memory of this undertaking fondly, and understand how it warms my spirit to look through the pages.   Perhaps it will take him back as well, warming his spirit with glimpses of a child with confidence and hope.  I plan to encourage him to continue the story!

Shared today at “Meet and Greet,” http://dreambigdreamoften.co

Shared on 6/20 at http://acookingpotandtwistedtales.com/2016/06/17/featured-posts-78-share-your-post-links/