Why do you feel this way? You feel this way because you chose to.
You’re just giving me a guilt trip. It’s wrong to try and give someone a guilt trip.
You’re such a calm girl because you’re quiet. (Ha.)
You just need to relax. (As in, It’s not me making you uncomfortable, you just need to relax).
You should say you’re sorry (for being in the way, for feeling like you do, for expressing your emotions)
If you dress that way, you’re just inviting trouble.
When you get married, he’ll settle down and shape up.
Your marriage will be stronger if you have a child.
He’ll be so thankful and treat you better if you have his child.
You need to have another child to keep the first one company.
A second child will really make your husband grow up.
You can’t be friends with him, it means you have a wandering eye.
You can’t be friends with her, she’s a bad influence.
You aren’t woman enough to wear that. Countered with, all that red lipstick makes you look like you’re trash.
He didn’t mean it, and you should get past it.
Men are just like that.
*****The list is extensive and goes beyond this, but I believe this is a start. Dads, husbands, boyfriends, friends, think about what you are saying to her.***
Next time, try, for a start: “You have a right to your feelings. You are allowed to express your feelings. You can be, and do, whatever you choose. Your can be trusted to make the right choices.” Let’s rewrite the narrative.
(c) 2020, Pamela Schloesser Canepa