self-expression – pamelascanepa

Releasing the Pain. #poetry (Revisited)

I write, I express

and I press so hard

The hurt in my shoulder

like little glass shards

****

I focus, I strive

My thoughts so intense

The weight on me

at times feels so dense.

*****

Pop! I let the pressure out, let it rise

like a balloon at its demise…

Powerless, away with the wind it goes

The fear and the pain that I once held so close.

*Revised version, 2021

Indie Author/ Gypsy Dancer #amwriting #poetry

2006blackdressleg179 circa 2006. *I used to dance a lot more. But then, I write a whole lot more now. It is a dance of words.

I don’t do this for riches,

I earn pennies a day.

I do this for the joy,

so, please don’t look away.

I’ll still dance even

if you don’t look,

but, yes, I want

you to read this book.

A gypsy dancer keeps on moving,

We think she has no home.

An indie writer, keeps on trying,

With no agent, on her own.

I’ve finally got the nerve

to dance for a crowd,

I open my arms wide…

ready to sing aloud.

I do this because I must,

it’s like an itch I must scratch.

Sometimes I aim to please,

but sometimes that’s a miss.

Pleasing the masses?

Unlikely, but I’ll try…

Yet a smile on just one face

can help me get by.

No matter what they think,

I will still dance on.

And for my dance of words,

You’ll remember me when gone.

Writer.bird-feather-2505306_960_720

Dance of Life. #poetry

2006. Ballroom dance practice.

Blackshoe2IMG_0009 2009, before I retired these shoes.

Please don’t tell me how to dance

and don’t critique my dance

This dance is life and is not a dance with death,

it is a dance with what I’ve been given.

Don’t check the boxes while I dance

My dance is what I’m feeling inside

My dance is where I am in life…

It changes all the time.

To think I used to wear those shoes,

I danced away depression and blues.

Did I worry about a judge?

I also forgot to bear a grudge.

Now here I am, sneakers and yoga pants

and I still at times break into dance.

Sometimes the flow of words is my dance,

Sometimes comforting a child is my dance.

Don’t stare and check your boxes,

the dance is the story, a story, partly fiction

the story is me, the dance is survival

One can only live through self-expression.

I am not within the box,

and no one else draws my lines

so join me if you dare, or laugh along.

Yes, laugh, I said. It means that we’re alive.

#Weekend Coffee Share. A Poem for Every Emotion.

Cappuccino, Coffee, Cafe, Empty An empty cup means we have filled our hearts with fellowship and companionship, no matter how briefly.

Welcome to the Weekend Coffee Share, hosted by Allison at eclecticali.wordpress.com. I am full of emotions today. Full of love for my job where I can share my love for reading and writing with some cute, young, sometimes challenging, and at times, fun students. Full of disappointment over my hurting arm and hand and the brief stop my writing has done for the time being, therefore this is a short post. I’m also full of confusion and despair over the turn our country is taking for women. Yet, I am full of hope that we have some control over the way things will turn. The wheel keeps on turning. I am simply going to draw a little picture here:

We are not considered the ones in charge

Yet, we are full of power

We are the thorny plant and not the flower.

We are the wild brush of the jungle.

No longer tame,

no need to be restrained.

When I hold my tongue to spare your feelings,

Or sit, thinking I can’t reach the ceiling

I have believed all that they said

Politics have ruled my heart and head.

When I am too diplomatic, my thoughts sour

Stuck in this headspace, a day or an hour,

so here, I’m going to spill it on the table

Let it form it’s lovely colors, if it’s able.

If you’ve listened, and really heard

You are my friend by deed, and not just word.

Thank you for hearing me out. I think I needed this. I hope you all have a lovely week. Visit Alli’s blog to share your own post or to visit others! https://eclecticali.wordpress.com/category/series-of-sorts/if-we-were-having-coffee/

Cramming. #weekendcoffeeshare a.k.a, It’s time- to- sit back Saturday.

Photo courtesy of my phone and one of Instagram’s filters. Thanks to Bixby for modeling!

Ah, Saturday. This is great since I slept in until 9:16. It is 47 degrees out, so I am indoors. My dog posed for this photo which is from last week’s 70- degree weather. I hope you don’t mind, but this may become a regular Coffee Share photo for me. 🙂 If we were having coffee on this 28th day of January, I would tell you:

I feel overwhelmed, as work is getting test-driven and crazy with FSA (state test) coming up.
Sometimes I think I took on too much, as I am taking an online course that is required for re-certification. The plus side is I am taking it along with a friend, and sometimes we stay after at work to get it done (mostly) in one afternoon. We’ll order Chinese food and chow down in the classroom as we read the material and make our required responses. It’s much easier that way.
It also seems there is so much more on my plate since my son’s accident. It wasn’t too much of a hectic week in regards to paperwork, but he’s been laid off and seems a little listless. He can’t drive right now, either. I’ve been making sure to take him to his support group, which makes for another hectic day hurrying home from work and eating so I can get him there. Although there is a group for parents (NAMI), I’m not ready to go back. The last time I attended, it was almost taken over by a loud, vociferous, political squawker. Sorry if that sounds nasty, but they are in abundance lately, and a family group is not the place for it. At any rate, this crazy, busy few weeks has gotten in the way of writing.
Speaking of writing, I did write a short story. Dark, mysterious, and slightly supernatural, it really pleased me to write it in light of all of the emotions I am dealing with lately. Sometimes, I think we judge ourselves for feeling negative thoughts. Would God want us to judge ourselves? No. I think he’d want us to love and accept ourselves if we are not hurting anyone. Considering, this was my channel to let those thoughts out. Heck, I even giggled once. However, as I think on it, I know that I must edit and revise a few things. And there is no time right now. Nonetheless, I sent it to my boyfriend who is going to sketch me a wonderfully absurd picture that can accompany this story whenever I publish it here or wherever I decide. It will be free, that part is for sure, so I’ll certainly share when it comes out an encourage everyone to read it!
On writing and living, you may have noticed my dislike and almost paranoia of hospitals in last week’s post. Just writing about that gave me ideas. It may appear in a publication of mine. Sure, it may take a year, but it shall be there. Why? Because this fear of hospitals is pervasive amongst many of us. It appears in Literature, movies, and even in the Seinfeld “Pigman” episode. Bless Jerry for allowing us to laugh at our fears. While I doubt I’ll be humorous about it, it is better to express them somehow, than to bottle them inside.
I forgot to mention, a reviewer’s blog has reviewed my book Made for Me! Check it out at lilbooklovers.wordpress.com!
So now, I hope to spend some time with family, and maybe even my dog!

Well, here I am again, extolling the virtues of self-expression (writing being one of them) and how it helps us to hang on, to survive as a species. Thank you for listening to mine! Hang in there, friends, and keep letting it out.

*The Weekend Coffee Share is hosted by Part Time Monster . I kept it simple by just making a list. That’s about my pace this weekend, keeping it simple. You can join this week’s Coffee Share on her blog or by clicking on the “Linkup Linky.” In fact, I encourage you to click on the “linky” to see what’s been going on in the lives of other bloggers and even join us if you haven’t yet to share about your week in writing or otherwise living in general.

Guest post: Pamela Schloesser Canepa

Photo Courtesy of Pixabay. From Kathy: I’ve met many fellow writers this past year, and am thrilled to share my blog space with some of them. Please take time to read Pam’s post below! And just a few reminders: …