Weekend Coffee Share, Milestones

Welcome to my Weekend Coffee Share, hosted by Natalie the Explorer. Good morning! Join me with my V8 and green matcha tea. Yesterday was coffee day, and I needed it to handle that middle school energy. It is gray outside, but my home cafe is playing The Bandit, new from The Kings of Leon, and it brightens my spirit. That voice…From their new song, Supermarket:”I’m going nowhere, if you’ve got the time.” Why, yes, yes I do. Needless to say, their new album is on my Youtube playlist.

This song played on my car radio yesterday on my way home from work. It had been such a stressful day, and if I’m not careful, I’ll feel old because of it…but I am resisting! The Bandit reminds me of a mix of INXS and U2, bringing thoughts of the Spring of my 15th year, a time of so many changes. Changes are not easy, but they are the hallmark of growth. So, I am going to focus on that today instead of talking about the stresses of my job. I feel I am managing them appropriately, and that’s all I need to say on that today. 🙂

I am surrounded by middle-schoolers going through vast changes, some growing wiser with their struggles, some consistent and solid yet growing taller or exhibiting voice changes. Others are struggling and reacting, and all I can do is try to reach them. I remember a lot of my ups and downs in the pre-teen and teen years and am able to look back and see the good in it all. This is a part of my job, to empathize and treat them with understanding. Again, if I focus on this instead of the stress of teaching in a pandemic in a system that does not have adequate resources, for instance, only two guidance counselors for a school of 1200 students. I play many parts at times and have learned to embrace that.

Yesterday morning, feeling the winds of Spring, I wrote this poem in response to my sometimes tired, challenged by middle schoolers, yet rejuvenated by the few who appreciate me feelings: https://pamelascanepa.wordpress.com/2021/04/16/spirit/

Age 15.

My son seems to be doing well on his own. His job and responsibilities are perhaps keeping him focused. I text him every morning. He always replies quickly. So, I know he is waking up and going to work. Working keeps him on a straight path, gives him purpose, and this is good. His 25th birthday is Monday. Yikes! So many memories will come back. My doctor, the doctor who delivered him, is retiring this year. Fitting, in the year my son is reaching for independence. May this reach be successful!

Memories and Milestones! 1996

Have a great weekend, friends and fellow bloggers! Keep it light, keep it hopeful, and always carry some sort of shovel for the days that the murky depths which you must navigate are especially thick and deep. We’ve got this! Namaste!

Spring is Bittersweet. #poetry

Photo by David Bartus on Pexels.com

(c) by Pamela Schloesser Canepa

Spring is bittersweet, like a love song

because all good things must end.

Just as we can say goodbye to bitter cold

Only a moment’s memory can keep its hold.

But why think of the end, when it starts?

Instead, open widely of your heart

Race through the meadows in the sunshine

Sit picking daisies beneath the pine.

Seize the day like a bee

enjoying its pollen snack.

Yes, it will end later,

but later is not now.

No moment stays forever, anyhow.

No hurt can forever keep you down.

All moments must wash away down the stream

Good and bad, or in between.

Every Spring is here to be enjoyed.

Weekend Coffee Share. Cafe Music and Pre-Springtime State of Mind

Welcome to my Weekend Coffee Share! The sun is shining through the window blinds on this crisp morning, and the cafe is the place to be! My ‘cafe’ is currently playing songs by Nina Simone and Billie Holiday, and there’s a click of my dog moving about on the floor until he settles at my feet again. It all sounds heavenly to me. I haven’t “hung out” in a real cafe in quite some time. So, I’ve created my own. We’ll converse virtually.

It’s a coffee drinking day! I have abstained from coffee for the last four days, due to my desire for better sleep and less anxiety or stress tension. I don’t think coffee is the whole problem, but I promised myself I would drink the green matcha tea more often, as it fuels me enough and is supposedly healthier. Still, this is my reward today, since I slept great last night and actually, most nights this week. Coffee goes so well with Simone’s “My Baby Just Cares for Me.” Piano and/or horns and a sultry voice just bring Spring closer to my heart.

Spring is scratching on our car windows, flirtatiously telling us she is near. “Be ready,” she calls. A rainy week has washed a lot of pollen off of our cars and into the streets. Florida is confused, but heck, that is nothing new. Having lived here since I was eight (with an 8 month misled venture out to OK for the sake of love), I’m used to it. Last night it got close to the thirties but our Florida sun is brightening this day.

I went along, day after day this week with a number of gray, rainy days. Having Monday off was great. Wednesday after school I had the Newspaper Club meeting. We accomplished a lot, I believe! Some are unsure of themselves with writing, so I pair them up, and it has helped. I am trying to make it a welcome place for anyone to find their voice. This was the third week. On the evenings after Newspaper Club, I am pretty tired. I get to bed and fall asleep with ease, and if I wake up in the middle of the night, I get right to sleep. It is good work, something that I am enthused about and that is turning out to be really good for me.

It’s becoming clear to me that I write a lot about my struggles. That’s because I am human. When I am honest with others about that, they are more honest with me. Add to that fact that, my struggles that I’ve overcome are a part of who I am. In my everyday life, I am teaching students who need to feel comfortable expressing themselves in my classroom, so I believe this is beneficial.

Keeping things in or hiding things about ourselves is difficult, too difficult. It results in us alienating ourselves; I know, because I did this drastically four years ago, when my son went through a really hard time with emotions and mind issues after a car accident and head injury. I felt like a failure as a parent. There were struggles he had with himself and that I had with him in the household. I kept so much bottled inside and felt really depressed since I was bottling up the stress. Not very healthy.

Glad that I’m beyond that, I have a few close friends that I can confide in. His struggles are much better, and he has held down a job for two years. I see that I wrote a lot about my stresses back then as well, and that’s a good thing. It helped me to hang on.

Having gone through the shoulder injury last year and educating myself on dealing with arthritis pain has helped me acquire healthier habits. There is a true link between anxiety, body tension, and pain. I’m still working on all of it.

Writing is sporadic, but I will not give up. Perhaps I will move more into autobiographical writing. Journaling is a more frequent process for me in “getting things out.” Blogging is a sort of journaling. It’s all good.

The sunshine outside my windows is representing my current state of mind. I’ve gotten through many things recently, COVID fear being part of them, and I just don’t feel as fearful anymore. Sitting at home in the computer chair all day is not an option! I can do this. You’ve likely heard me say that before. 🙂

**Weekend Coffee Share is a weekly bloggers’ feature that many across the globe have joined. Search for or use the hashtag #weekendcoffeeshare and tell me about your cafe of choice and the goings on in your part of the world. Have a great week!

Weekend Coffee Share. Dogs and R and R.

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Welcome to my Weekend Coffee Share, hosted by Allison at eclecticali.wordpress.com

Here we enjoy our favorite java, tea, or smoothie, and chat about whatever comes to mind and what is going on lately.

I’ve been blessed with a week off. Did I do any writing, you may wonder? Well, yes I did! My current WIP is around 35,000 words and is based on a side character from my book, Detours in Time. I already have the ending in mind, which means now I need to meander through it again and show a little bit more about the characters. It seems to be a more pared down manuscript when I start with the end in mind. It has been almost three years since I published my first work of fiction, and I started out as a pantser. Now, thought I write with the end in mind, I still am really pantsing it through the rest of the manuscript. I sort of leave it to stew until the muse hits me.  What do you all think? Does too much planning kill the details? Sometimes they just have to come to me at the right time. My next work break is this summer. I am making a date with my manuscript for several weeks at that time! It’s been great having a week for w-riting and relaxing!

Other than that, I grew tired of sitting at the computer for too long. I do a lot of that while I am working, plus adding in certification endorsement classes to my schedule. So, I did a little loafing this week. I saw friends for dinner one night, and I went to see Glass with the boyfriend last night. I enjoyed it. It was not as tense as Split, but it was definitely a psychological thriller with satisfying twists! The characterization is amazing, and it helps to have seen the two previous movies involving these characters. I am a fan of M. Night Shyamalan, overall, and certainly a raving fan of James McAvoy. His face goes from glee, to penitence, to murderous terrorizing in seconds, perfectly. At home, I’ve watched a little Netflix, and I even got slightly hooked on Shameless. The acting is great, but there is a lot of inappropriate material. It is drama/comedy centered around the family of a “shameless” drunk. It is actually pretty sad at times. Like a train wreck….which actually is a plot point in the movie, Glass.

I plan to take my little canine to the dog park later. We have had several walks this week and morning coffee on the front porch days. He loves it, because he is off the leash on the front porch. Why not?? It’s his property, and he is a little more well-trained now. What he hates is when I walk him on a leash and we pass by a dog watering their own lawn, off-leash. Such dogs are well-trained and don’t leave their own lawn. I am trying to get Bixby to that point, and it seems to be going well. If he needs to do any serious potty time, though, he will give the begging eyes so I will leash him and walk him a bit further. Works out for me as well!

Would you believe, I haven’t gotten up before 8:30 a.m. at all this week! I was fighting a sinus/allergy issue, so that may be part of it. I went to yoga yesterday for the first time in two weeks, and my shoulders are sore. I have to get back into it. Things happen: work meetings, sickness, etc., but I did use a stretching app at home. No, it’s not the same, but it’s something. Back to the grind this coming Monday.

I hope you all have a great week! Thanks for stopping by to share a cup with me!

In Pursuit of the Sun

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I’ve decided to add a new item to my bucket list.  Since I’m close to my late forties, now is the time.  I can think about retirement, I can dream.  And I’m certainly too young to think about being done with my bucket list!  Maybe this is an impossible dream, but I feel that is at the root of optimism, always dreaming one more dream.  There is always room for one more dream!  We are in an infinite universe; why not dream infinitely (by which, I mean, without bounds)?

A dream is one thing I can hold close to my heart.  But I am so excited, I want to share it!  I want to one day retire and be a sun chaser!  Evidently, since I did look up the term, sun chaser already signifies many things, such as a yacht, an awning, a movie about an escaped fugitive, etc.  So I seem to be giving new meaning to the word.  I literally want to CHASE the sun.  Yet, I’m not a runner.  Okay, CHASE may be an exaggeration.  And I’m honestly not running away from anything.  We also shouldn’t confuse this with being a sun worshiper.  I am not so much about the tan anymore; I love witnessing the sunrise and all that it represents.  It’s almost second nature to whisper a “Thank you,” when I do.

Let’s put this in more specific terms for my bucket list:  I want to witness the sun rise in at least fifty different cities.  I think it’s plausible!   I could even start on it now!

All of this came about because I am on Spring Break.  I’ve been dropping my sun off at work, and finding myself with time in which I could go home and sleep again, or do something different, like stop and witness the sun rise, walk the dog as the sun is rising, or simply gaze at the sky.  It is a beauty, and sometimes there is no time to realize it until you can get off the merry-go-round for a while.  I took a long walk with the dog the other day, documenting with my camera just which house the sun peeps up behind, and today, I stopped on the side of the road on the way back from dropping off my son at work.  The sky was full of jet contrails.  I documented with my camera just how different the sky looked.  I was not happy about it, but the sun rise was still beautiful.  Guess what?  I feel  like I did an important thing, just noticing how the sky looked.

This got me to thinking, on a positive note, how different the sun would look in different cities, and what  a pleasure it is to view it from different perspectives (i.e., different cities).  There are many other things on my bucket list, such as, going to Rome and seeing the Vatican along with much of the art of the Renaissance.  But this bucket list goal really has me inspired and motivated.  A miracle is happening every 24 hours and I want to see more of it!  My  goal will include getting to another city (how doesn’t matter; it could be an old camper for all I care), being awake to witness the sunrise from that viewpoint, maybe documenting by camera, resting, eating, living, traveling to the next city of choice and being ready for the next sun rise.  I could even just do this once a week for a year if I start now!  There are many possibilities for carrying this out!  How many people travel to a city and never see its sunrise?  I’ll tell you, sunrise in Las Vegas is quite a sight in that flashy city amidst the hills and desert.  Breath-taking.   What an honor it is to be awake at that hour with nothing better to do than to take in this beauty.  Lent is almost over.  Easter will soon be here.  What a perfect time of year to celebrate Jesus’ resurrection.  The sun rises again every morning.  And there is certainly at least one Bible verse that verbalizes the beauty of nature.  This one touched my heart:

Psalm 19:1

“The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.”

From  http://www.biblestudytools.com/topical-verses/bible-verses-about-nature/

Indeed, they do!