Strangers are Watching, #RDP, #RRBC

By Pamela Schloesser Canepa, (c) 2022

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com

The creatures hooked up their all-terrain space vehicle after landing on an airstrip. “Welcoming of them, isn’t it?” Eggbert chuckled. After a short drive They arrived outside of a Lou’s Best Pies diner.

Gawking at them by the door of the restaurant was a propped up skeleton. 👀 “Humans don’t look like that ” Venice commented.

“Well, but they do on the inside, ” Eggbert answered.

“Could they have become a cannibalistic society now? Is that a trophy?” Venice asked.

The sign said, “Prize-winning chicken dinner on special today”. Eggbert suspected Venice was wrong, but didn’t have the true answer. So instead of looking uninformed, he said nothing to debunk Venice’s theory.

“Activating invisibility shield,” he mumbled as a huge truck barreled into the parking lot. It had two skulls and a chain on the front grill. It seems humans now hunted humans for sport.

“Ready for human camouflage?” he asked as Venice gawked at the truck and it’s decorations.

“I guess,” Venice answered.

Soon they were in the restaurant, listening to two young and cocky teens banter back and forth. “Just wait till Halloween, Chad. I will scare the crap out of you.”

“Oh yeah? Well I’ll get you, man. You will just die!”

You will just die? What kind of sport is this?

The two aliens made sure to sit near the young teens. Eggbert had always been told to fit in at any cost, to do ” as the Romans do.” He was perfectly willing, but he wasn’t quite sure about Venice’s sensibilities.

“Are you okay with this, Venice?” he asked.

“Totally,” Venice answered, batting her eyelashes at one of the teens. She quickly shook her head as if to shake It off. “I think their hormones are polluting the air around me. You got to watch out for me Egbert. I mean, I can look out for myself, but if you think I’m starting to act foolish, tell me.”

Eggbert sighed. This had never happened on the job with Venice before, though she had formerly been a birthing creature. Perhaps her insides were trying to motivate her to procreate with a human. Ick, he thought. “Okay. I will.”

“I’ll snap out of it. I will. So, did we disguise our vehicle to look like theirs?”

“Yep. Good thing too. That gray minivan out there is plenty of ugly. Though I did see a miniature skeleton hanging inside of it. The trophies are quite prevalent around here.”

“Well, I think that gives us permission to collect a few of our own,” Venice said with a wink.

“Let’s stick with these guys and see what they’re about,” Egbert suggested. “If you can handle it.”

“Are you kidding? I’m ready to outfit our vehicle with chains and big wheels! Maybe this is how they deal with over-population.”

“Could be.” Eggbert smiled and two tens materialized in his hand as the two young men paid at the cas register. He moved up and got in line between the two , realizing that Venice had chosen to be disguised as a male. Albeit, a male with beautiful eyelashes. Ugh! Distraction was contagious around here!

Venice waited for him at their vehicle, holding two huge pieces of metal with her huge human arms. “These will mold into chains nicely.”

“Ah, yes. Maybe wait until we can get to an abandoned area.”

“That was my plan. I tell you, we’ll show those irritable humans how to play. And there will be trophies!”

Eggbert clapped a hand on Venice’s back as the young men passed them. ” That’s right brother. You’ll be an excellent hunter in no time.”

“Let’s hurry and get our set up before they get out of our range of scent,” Venice whispered.

Thirty minutes later they emerged from a path in the woods with a truck larger than an F-350 with chains on the front grill.

“The secret is aggression, ” Egbert said.

“Of course. We keep ramming them til they roll their vehicle and run out. Then we’ve got ’em!” Venice squealed, excitedly.

“Venice, these humans are really rubbing off on you,”Egbert stated. He smacked Venice’s shoulder in solidarity, revving his engine.

*Posted in response to the Ragtag Community prompt at https://wp.me/p9YcOU-3GW

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“A Girl Turns 50,” Top Ten Wishlist

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Photo taken, 1991 at Royal Gorge, Colorado.  The way I still see myself….

On this, my fifitieth birthday, I have ten wishes.  If nothing else, they’re good for a laugh.  Maybe you can identify?  I don’t know how am I fifty, anyway.  Where does the time go?

My Ten Fiftieth Birthday Wishes:

  1. Stick on eyebrows that won’t come off or irritate my skin when I take them off… I haven’t tried the stick-ons because I’m afraid.  That, and I’d suddenly look completely fake. Seriously though, where’d the eyebrows go?  Maybe a temporary tattoo of eyebrows would be better, because there’s no way I’d do a permanent eyebrow tatt, what if it went wrong?
  2. Eye make-up that applies itself.  Honestly, who has time for eyeliner?  Though the eye shadow can hide some wrinkles, I still only have time for it 1-2 days a week.
  3.  An extra pair of hands that will do all the typing I want.  They’ll respond to my every wish, but I will never feel their pain.
  4. A button on my shower that will emit lotion water.  Does that exist?  Well, it should.  Adjust your shower so it only hits you below the chin to avoid the eyes and mouth.
  5. Shoes that will massage your feet with every step.  Come on, that is not unrealistic!  Somebody needs to make this!
  6. For my favorite dress shirts to all be also available in cotton.  It absorbs sweat much more nicely than those other materials.  I could wear something other than t-shirts comfortably.
  7. A portable fan you can sit on your shoulder like a parrot.  It should be lightweight, too.  When a wave of sudden heat hits a gal, sometimes it shows up immediately on the face.  Just push the button and start the fan!  Everyone close by will benefit as well!
  8. Compression pants with extra padding at the hips and the rear area, for when you have to attend meetings sitting on hard chairs after a full day at work, yet you’d rather be on your couch with the feet up.  There should be some magnetic magic in the hip area for those of us with joint issues or arthritis.  Supposedly that helps.
  9. A new law to limit the cost of all band concerts so that I can afford to go to more of them every year.  Indoor/ outdoor, it doesn’t matter.  Music makes everything better and my budget isn’t growing much yearly.
  10. Something to drink on a long flight that will not upset my stomach.  Is there such a thing?  Travel is just not as comfortable as it used to be.  We need to fix that!

Oops, I’m at ten already.  I’m sure I could think of more, for instance, making every workplace dog-friendly and immediately lowering stress levels of all (well most) employees.  However, I promised ten, and ten puls a half is all you will get this time.  Just wait until I turn sixty!

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Here I am, a year ago, in the finest Jimi Hendricks t-shirt of cotton, very little eye make-up, and subtle eyebrows.  (Subtle, LOL)…You’re right, I don’t want to act like a middle-aged woman!

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