Photo taken, 1991 at Royal Gorge, Colorado. The way I still see myself….
On this, my fifitieth birthday, I have ten wishes. If nothing else, they’re good for a laugh. Maybe you can identify? I don’t know how am I fifty, anyway. Where does the time go?
My Ten Fiftieth Birthday Wishes:
- Stick on eyebrows that won’t come off or irritate my skin when I take them off… I haven’t tried the stick-ons because I’m afraid. That, and I’d suddenly look completely fake. Seriously though, where’d the eyebrows go? Maybe a temporary tattoo of eyebrows would be better, because there’s no way I’d do a permanent eyebrow tatt, what if it went wrong?
- Eye make-up that applies itself. Honestly, who has time for eyeliner? Though the eye shadow can hide some wrinkles, I still only have time for it 1-2 days a week.
- An extra pair of hands that will do all the typing I want. They’ll respond to my every wish, but I will never feel their pain.
- A button on my shower that will emit lotion water. Does that exist? Well, it should. Adjust your shower so it only hits you below the chin to avoid the eyes and mouth.
- Shoes that will massage your feet with every step. Come on, that is not unrealistic! Somebody needs to make this!
- For my favorite dress shirts to all be also available in cotton. It absorbs sweat much more nicely than those other materials. I could wear something other than t-shirts comfortably.
- A portable fan you can sit on your shoulder like a parrot. It should be lightweight, too. When a wave of sudden heat hits a gal, sometimes it shows up immediately on the face. Just push the button and start the fan! Everyone close by will benefit as well!
- Compression pants with extra padding at the hips and the rear area, for when you have to attend meetings sitting on hard chairs after a full day at work, yet you’d rather be on your couch with the feet up. There should be some magnetic magic in the hip area for those of us with joint issues or arthritis. Supposedly that helps.
- A new law to limit the cost of all band concerts so that I can afford to go to more of them every year. Indoor/ outdoor, it doesn’t matter. Music makes everything better and my budget isn’t growing much yearly.
- Something to drink on a long flight that will not upset my stomach. Is there such a thing? Travel is just not as comfortable as it used to be. We need to fix that!
Oops, I’m at ten already. I’m sure I could think of more, for instance, making every workplace dog-friendly and immediately lowering stress levels of all (well most) employees. However, I promised ten, and ten puls a half is all you will get this time. Just wait until I turn sixty!
Here I am, a year ago, in the finest Jimi Hendricks t-shirt of cotton, very little eye make-up, and subtle eyebrows. (Subtle, LOL)…You’re right, I don’t want to act like a middle-aged woman!