My Year of Saying “Yes.”

sunrise-sky-blue-sunlight-67832.jpeg  Photo (c) Pixels.

2014 bled into 2015, and the effects of saying yes were amazing on my mind.

I’d say it started mid-2014.  My son graduated from high school and went to live up North with his dad for a while, and I found myself suddenly with more time for…myself.  Summer time was great.  I caught up with old friends and started helping out at a food bank.  It was something I was always curious about.  Several people from my church also volunteered there, so I got to know them a little better.  There was a nagging worry about my son, but guess what, it was always there since he became a teen.  I kept busy.

Eventually, he came back, as things didn’t work out there.  I figured he learned some necessary lessons being away.  Maybe, maybe not. I don’t know if they sank in.  He enrolled in college and had a few more troubles, then withdrew from his classes.  He really went through a rough time, and so did it.  It was hard to accept that his journey into adulthood would be nothing like mine.  There was a sense of loss.  He was not the person he used to be and would not talk to me about things that were going on.  We sought help, but I did not seek help for myself.  Perhaps I should have.  I dealt with it, somehow.

In November, my mom and I spoke seriously about getting a dog.  She and I live with my son in the same house.  He voiced no opinion on the matter.  She went looking one day and told me about the sweetest dog she’d found.  My son was there and did not voice disapproval; he didn’t voice excitement either, but that is nothing new.  It seemed apparent the dog would be my mom’s and my dog.  Two days later I went in and met the dog.  I’d thought about doing this for a few years and always stopped myself because of the new responsibility, the cost, the adjustment, etc.  Well, I decided to accept this as a happy adjustment.  There were so many adjustments that year anyway.  I put down the deposit and went back to get him when his stray hold was over at the shelter.  Let me tell you, a new canine family member is an excellent way to stave off depression.

Around the time, I was asked to serve on the Session at my church.  It is somewhat of a governing board.  Now, I’d grown closer to spiritually, but mostly in the sense of begging God for help, begging for acceptance to enter my soul, begging things would not get any worse than they were.  I’d discussed things with my pastor now and then, and when someone nominated me for this, I discussed my fears with him and what were the positives.  Obviously, when you’re asked to do this, you have to know you are going to be in a place of servitude and can’t just think “What’s in it for me.” However, I didn’t want it to distance me from my son even more, as I was his transportation and he was involved in a few programs to help him get a job and help him sort his life out.  Still, I said yes after deliberation and talks with my pastor.  It was the third time I’d been asked to do this and this time I finally said yes.  I would start my term in January, 2015.  Let me tell you, it was a challenge but rewarding as well.  I am looking back and reflecting on it, because my three year term recently came to an end.  It got me involved in some voluntary activities that I would not have done otherwise, all very rewarding.

During the three years, my son lived in a world separate from me, in our own home, in his mind.  I still made efforts to keep him on the right path.  He was in a state of recovery and did not ask much of me, yet he needed my support.  He would at times accompany me to church events.  I learned a lot while serving on the session, and I felt closer to God.  I frequently was in a state of reflection, and I started writing more.  Poetry had been a sometime hobby for a few years, but I started writing stories.  It was a great escape.

In mid-2015, I bought a little notebook to write down all the zany ideas that popped in my head and disappeared when I later had time to write.  I binge-watched Mad Men that summer, and the character, Don Draper’s transformation and soul-searching inspired me.  I wrote a few stories online that I shared with no one other than the writing platform where they were housed. In early 2016, I started blogging here at WordPress.  It opened a new world to me, and I would respond to photo prompts and communicate with other bloggers who are also writers.  I still benefit from the WordPress community.  I submitted some stories at Wattpad, and while I think their audience wants something different from my brand of stories, I grew some confidence, and I decided to extend one of the stories into a book and self-publish.  Since I had joined an online Writer’s Group, I had learned a little about the process. I am still learning more today.  I really got into a mindset back then of telling myself, “Yes, I can,” and “If not now, when?”  I had put off writing for several years because of hurting in my hands, being busy at work, fogginess in my brain (which was probably a sort of depression).  Writing helped sharpen my brain.  It acted on that problem, and it happened in spite of the first two afore-mentioned problems.  Sing it, “We Shall Overcome.”  That is the story I want to live.

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#WeekendCoffeeShare. Self-care.

pexels-photo-851213.jpeg Photo (c), Pexels

Welcome to the Weekend Coffee Share, hosted by Allison at https://eclecticali.wordpress.com/  The weather is quite mild today, but I’m still enjoying a mug of hot coffee!

This week has been another intense one.  I worked on editing three nights this week, and the days have been: work, work, work, crunch numbers, target instruction, plan, plan, plan.  I stayed late Friday and I am ready for the week!  Can you believe the season of Lent is almost here?  Time is flying, and I feel short-changed, because I did not get to yoga last week.  Trust me, I will this coming week!  There was not much time for the blog, but I’ve started a new series about books that are not so well-known, but well worth the read.  Visit Installment One here:     Books You May Not Know Of…     I’ve also been taking care of myself.  It almost feels like indulgence, but I’ve been working hard and I deserve it.  Really, I’ve just decided to do some basic things that I deserve.

One of those is the pedicure.  It has probably been two months.  The nicer weather may bring opportunities for sandals, so I got the pedicure yesterday.  This was after I had lunch with an old friend I hadn’t seen in 6 months or more.  She is such a supportive person; she also works in education but she has other dreams and she is working on them.  She can be quite an inspiration.  I gave her my short paperback, From Lost to Loved, the imagined tale of my dog’s early life.  She is an animal lover and adores her cat like I do my dog; she was ecstatic about the book, so I am so glad I did it.  She gave me some social media ideas!  This leads in to the new Instagram for my dog:  Bixby Fluffikins Canepa!  Follow him at   bixby_fluffikins

The boyfriend and I went to an art show last night to see a work of art by a friend of mine from church.  She is new to the art scene.  It was great to see her enthusiasm and her post-modern piece.  We did not stay out late, but it was something different to do.  I cannot believe how much I packed into this weekend already.  Yesterday morning I was finishing up work things I know I won’t get to on Monday.  Then, I happened to check e-mail and see I got my DNA report back from Ancestry DNA.  I just have to say, it’s fascinating!  Since I had a hard time inserting the whole picture, the breakdown is:

Ethnicity Estimate

Scandinavia

45%
Great Britain
43%
Europe West
5%
Ireland/Scotland/Wales
2%
Middle East
2%
Iberian Peninsula
2%
Europe South
1%
I’ve been on genealogy websites and found myself linked to someone from Italy, Spain, and Ireland in addition to the English, Welsh, German and French I already knew of along with all of Mom’s Scandinavian from Norway and Denmark.  Iberian Peninsula is near Spain.  The Middle East connection totally blows my mind.  I absolutely found all of this amazing, and I wish I could know the family stories, though some of them may be 1,000 years old, in which case I’ll have to imagine the story of a wayfarer from afar traveling to Europe or England, marrying into a whole new bloodline.  Perhaps there was migration due to war.  It just sparks my imagination, and I feel so connected to the world!
To bring this to a close, I am so thankful for everything that is giving me such a full life right now!  Yes, I feel positive about the challenges at work.  Yes, I feel like I can still make time and fit in the things I enjoy like Art, Family history, writing, and taking care of myself!  Next week will be a great one.  I’ll fit in an hour on three or more nights for editing;  I’ll even be sure to get to yoga class. 🙂
*Join the Weekend Coffee Share by viewing others or submitting your own at   https://eclecticali.wordpress.com/2018/02/09/weekendcoffeeshare-lots-of-lotsness/
How was your week?

#WeekendCoffeeShare. Pep Talk or Planned Timeout? #letterstomyself #amwriting

Morning, Coffee, Cup, Drink, Table

Welcome to my Weekend Coffee Share hosted by Allison at https://eclecticali.wordpress.com/ wherein I debate whether I really need a pep talk or a planned timeout this weekend.

Yeah, you may have guessed; I’m tired.  I work for an organization that educates children but seems to test them more than we educate them.  I don’t believe in the way we do things, but I follow directions well.  Testing season is upon us.  I will not dwell on it anymore, but I will add that there are many days I love to be in that room with that sea of facing, many of them smiling because they love being silly, and a few of them are even laughing or responding to my jokes.  🙂

On the bright side, I made it to yoga this week for a class that was very relaxing, yet energizing. We got a great stretch.  This is great because I woke up so sore that morning.  Today I will likely take a walk with the dog.  I also carved out two hours in the evenings to work on editing my upcoming sequel to Detours in Time.    It is good that I have that on the side, and I’m working hard to always have the energy to fit the writing in,  because I don’t have the energy to stay up past 10 p.m. these days.  It is highly possible that the time change will bring more energy and ability to extend my schedule; it seemed to work last year.  For today, I promise myself a walk with the dog, whether long or short, and a hot bath.  I also know I need to go to the bank, but that is not a treat, just a necessity.  There will also be reading time.  If two hours this week sounds too scarce for the writing/editing, maybe it is.  My day job is just so demanding lately, but I will do this.  I still think I can get this book out over the summer, which is my plan, since I will be off and have time to promote it, contact bloggers and reviewers, write guest posts, etc.

At any rate, there are lots of times I give myself a pep talk.  A writer friend named Jonas posted an idea called Letters to Myself a month or so ago.  I joined in.  Below is an extension of a Facebook challenge:  what two words would you say to your younger self.  My words are, “You Can.”  It is also a #lettertomyself, and it still rings true today.  I write because I can.

You can……. Oh yes, you can. Girl, get on up there and show ’em you can. You can say what you mean. You are allowed an opinion and it doesn’t have to agree with all the others.  You can do what you set your mind to. You can do things because YOU want to and you will still be loved even if you slip up. You can. Paint those walls. Run those bases and skin your knees. Dance that dance and fall on your butt and get back up because they will still love you and be proud of you. And if they don’t, you love yourself and one day, someone else will love you for that. Love yourself because you can. Do something silly. You will still be loved and you will love doing it. Do it because you can.

I’ll end my Weekend Coffee Share on that note.  I hope that you all have a great week!  Visit the Weekend Coffee Share to read others’ posts and/or enter yours by clicking the blue Inlinkz button at https://eclecticali.wordpress.com/2018/01/26/weekendcoffeeshare-empty-weekend/

Weekend Coffee Share. “What I Can Plan and What I Can’t.” 1/20

Coffee, Pen, Notebook, Work, Book

Photo via Pixabay.

Welcome to my Weekend Coffee Share, hosted by Allison at https://eclecticali.wordpress.com/

Oh, I’m feeling a little tired today.  Last night I got a message that my beta-reader’s notes and suggestions were done, but I didn’t have time to view it yet.  I am giving myself the weekend.  I have one more beta reader who should be available the end of this month, and then I’ll revise, edit, and send to a professional editor the draft for my sequel to Detours in Time.  This is hard work, and my full-time work isn’t getting easier.  That’s okay, I’ve given myself the right to only publish one book this year if that is all that gets done.  Meanwhile, I have other ideas hopping in my head that I’ve outlined or just typed into summary form to flesh out later.  After years of giggling at my own ideas and losing them an hour later because all I could do was dream, I decided to start putting those dreams on paper.  Thank God I did!  This is such a wonderful mind exercise.

As I said, the editing/revising process is hard work, and it at times requires a good amount of sequestering.  I found beta-readers in writing groups and plan to find an editor online who can give me a good turn around time.  I’d like to get this book out over the summer when I have time off, so I can give it the nurturing it needs to grow a readership.  Still, I like the sociability of blogging, so, right now I am tending to do one Weekend Coffee Share or reflection and one Flash Fiction challenge a week.  We share them in one central place as well as on our blog so that we can see each other’s work and comment.  There are frequent posters whom I know by name and I like to keep up with news from their parts of the world or see what sort of fiction they spit out based on the photo prompt.  That is the sociability that keeps me writing when those reading my book won’t leave reviews and when I have a slow book week.  It happens.  I am in the acorn stage.  Maybe one day I’ll be a tree.  🙂

The home front is not too bad, I must say; my son is working steadily and has been for 7 months.  He had a few troubles last year.  The biggest one, the alcohol issue, seems to be resolved.  His moods are light.  I see him smile at the dog and play with him, whereas he wouldn’t do that before.  I don’t feel like such a caretaker where he is concerned; it feels like he is now an adult who gladly gives me a portion of his paychecks.  Albeit, one who lives at home and can’t afford to move.  After what we went through, I like having him close by for now.  As I was thinking such positive things, my mother texted me last night that she fell near the doorstep and a friend took her to the E.R.  Her arm is broken; she had broken the other one last year.  I met her at the E.R. last night.  She’s hurting.  I hate to see this.  I know it’s part of getting older.  Everything I see in her is me in twenty some years.  I myself deal with muscle pains when I get up in the morning.  Yesterday I joked about suiting up with Ben Gay under my layers. (Yes, it has been in the 20’s and 30’s in Jacksonville, Florida several mornings this week).  I feel like I am getting a ‘poor me’ tone here, and I hate that.  We survived the E.R. though, and no one seems to have caught the flu.  Visions of Sheldon in the hospital episode kept dancing through my head.  I did abstain from restroom use while there.  She and I talked about exercises that strengthen the bones.  “Weight-lifting,” she said.  I do yoga, and that involves lifting your own body weight, but really, not often enough.

Time to add a ten minute arm weight routine to my morning stretches.  The challenge is just beginning.  I shall greet each new year with humor and laughter, just as my mother has on her best days.  Why, she even cracked a joke last night about not being able to drink wine. 🙂

Join the Weekend Coffee Share at https://eclecticali.wordpress.com/2018/01/19/weekendcoffeeshare-sushi-cheese-and-being-brave/ by reading others’ posts and/or adding yours by clicking on the blue InLinkz button.

Have a great week!  -Pam

 

 

 

 

My Go-To. #WeekendCoffeeShare

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Bixby contemplates my morning coffee.  What is so magical about it, and what will she do if I sneak a few sips?  

Welcome to my Weekend Coffee Share hosted by Allison athttps://eclecticali.wordpress.com.   I am trying to keep it short, but just to forewarn you, I have the attention span of a gnat this weekend.  Work was frustrating yesterday, and I am so tired of the national news dividing our nation even more.

At any rate, I have done my stretches this morning, and I plan to get a walk soon.  This is all part of my intention for this year to help me stay healthy and of a positive mindset.

My writing has been coming in spurts this week, unplanned, by the seat of my pants.  A pantser, that I am, at times.  I’m working on a new idea that is a spin-off of a character in my sequel that is in beta-reading mode, also known as waiting mode.  I also wrote a flash- fiction piece in one of the blog challenges this week.  It is a nice escape based on characters who got away from their daily grind to live in a luxurious, non-stop vacation world.  Only, they have to somehow afford that life.  Interested?  Read it here:  Swindled, 1/07/18. #flashfiction

Sometimes writing is a great escape for me and nothing but.  It is its own means to an end.  It would be great if I made enough money from it to take grand vacations, but it doesn’t matter.  I love what writing does for my mind. This brings me another of the key factors in my focus on seeking or harnessing energy in this new year: music.  My mind can race at times with thoughts, ideas, negation of my ideas, lack of ideas,  ruminations of my day, etc., etc.  It starts when I wake.  I have to calm it or tame the run-away train when I need to focus on getting one thing done (writing, cleaning…) or focus on getting myself ready for work and out the door on a workday morning.  Music helps.  It can also inspire me to get some writing done.  Here is my latest discovery that I am dying to share, and I hope you will go check out the video, Taro by alt-J.

 

The video visuals and the music together are just divine perfection, a comment on the human experience, our beautiful world, an understanding of those around us.  I found out this is a tribute to a war-time photographer named Taro, and all of the footage here is of peaceful images.  I found this when searching another song by alt-j with psychedelic undertones, because I love them; they take me away, and so does this song and its video.  Sometimes I need an escape from my mental chatter.  Writing can do that, my favorite out-of-this-world, creepy shows or movies do that (Haven, Haven) , books do that, and music does that, some music more than others.  Please enjoy this video.  It will surely provide a brief escape for your weekend.

Visit other coffee shares or add yours at https://eclecticali.wordpress.com/2018/01/12/weekendcoffeeshare-birthday-weekend/ by clicking the blue InLinkz button!  Have a great week!

 

 

Weekend Coffee Share. “Generating Heat” #amwriting

coffee-842020__340                     Photo credit, Pixabay.

Happy Saturday, everyone, and welcome to my Weekend Coffee Share, hosted by Allison at  https://eclecticali.wordpress.com  I haven’t done one of these in a while, in fact, the last time I did one my coffee was iced.  Of course, that normally wouldn’t mean anything since I am in Florida, but this past week, we’ve been going through a cold spell.  I’ve been indoors a lot, writing very little since my desk is by a drafty window.  I’ve been reading and watching Netflix, though.  I’ve been wearing layers and layers every time I step out.  We got down to the upper 20’s one night, even!  No snow here, but they did get some flurries in Tallahassee.  However, we got our share of ice.  Hence, my title, “Generating Heat.”

To generate heat, one must burn calories.  Funny, to do so also generates energy, so it all fits with my word for the New Year!  I’ve decided, instead of making a New Year’s resolution, I will focus on a keyword for the New Year:  Energy.  While I’ve had very little writing focus due to my drafty window (and the holidays) this last week, I wrote a post on my New Year’s focus word that you may view and read here, if interested: A Word for My Intentions

During the week, I attempted to visit a senior woman from church that I visit regularly.  She is in a nursing home.  Since social interaction is so beneficial, they don’t keep their patients holed up in their rooms, which is great.  However, there had been a few patients with flu symptoms, and visitors were not allowed for a few days. These things happen, I suppose.  Flu has been going around.  I can only imagine how rough that would be for elderly patients who aren’t completely mobile.  I was able to get out to get together for dinner one night with my work buddies.  It was fun, and the Italian food was excellent.  Other than that, I was indoors a lot this last week.

At any rate, in the spirit of generating energy so that I can be positive toward others, I’ve been going to more challenging yoga classes.  I haven’t even fallen down, but I sure do modify in every class.  You see, my ‘Energy’ goal will hopefully bring about better health, and even mental health, as far as positive mindset.  Positive thinking generates positive results, right?  Yes, I believe it does.  I also, having time on my hands this Winter Break, have to force myself off the couch or chair with upbeat music.  Monday, my choice was Sister’s of Mercy “This Corrosion” and then  “Danza Kuduro.”  “Danza” speaks for itself.  It is used in Zumba classes across the world, I am sure.  I used to do Zumba, and it was great exercise.  I get aches and pains these days and focus on low-impact yoga, but a 10-12 minute interlude at home is a good break in my day.  It is so upbeat, and I even remember a few of the moves from Zumba class.  Now, “This Corrosion” may not be anything you’ve ever heard of.  The Sisters of Mercy is alternative and may be even considered Gothic/Industrial, but this song was on the soundtrack for The Restaurant at the World’s End,  a funny, yet dark movie with Simon Pegg and a bunch of alien androids and a few other humans.  That’s what brought the song back to my memory.  Pegg’s character was my favorite of the humans, such a troubled, yet adventurous soul. His character even wears a Sister’s of Mercy t-shirt through much of the movie.  Anyhow, I used to dance to this sort of music, as well as 80’s New Wave, in my youth.  So, when I dance to it, I flail like an idiot, because who can remember how they danced 20-30 years ago?  I also reach down to get my dog to dance with me.  He barks the first time, then puts his feet up the next time I reach down.  It is glorious fun, such an energy builder, and thank God no one can see me!  But the dog…he may be secretly filming with a hidden camera… Oh, who cares!  It is all for the sake of being silly, and laughter burns calories too!

Music will definitely be my go-to source of energy.  I have made a pact with myself to do things that feed my energy.  My hope is the results will be a renewed energy in my job and focus/energy for writing.  My writing certainly needs to be more focused.  I don’t know how I ever got Detours in Time published in 2017, but I did.  I had a lot of help, and that is the way a professional does it.  I have written a sequel, and it is going through revision and beta-reading now.  In fact, I fleshed it out from 45,000 to 61,000 words this November.  That was my NANOWRIMO accomplishment on a small scale.  It definitely will be published in 2018, but I will need to keep my energy and focus going!  Most of what I have written lately has been flash-fiction, one of my first loves in writing.  However, one day I had thoughts running through my head about a character in the sequel whose life and goings-on I want to follow, whose story I want to tell.  He is young, a survivor, and still learning who he is.  I spent a few hours on the day of New Year’s Eve getting some of his story in writing.  We don’t control these ideas, do we? I already have a 4th installment in Norrie’s story from Made for Me, but I haven’t touched it after writing 4,000 words three months ago.  She will come to me later with more of her story.  I really sometimes believe that is the way it happens!  Writers, I am not alone in this feeling, am I?  I’d love to be more organized, but, I’ll have to go with what works for my brain.

It feels like I’m meandering here, but besides some of the brief writing “possession” and lack of focus I’ve experienced, I’ve been enjoying Netflix and went to two movies over Winter Break.  This is a big deal; I hadn’t been to a movie since Wonder Woman or Dr. Strange.  Not sure which, I may have my order mixed up; it was whichever came out last summer.  I didn’t even get out to see the new Bladerunner, and I am such a rabid fan.  I know I was busy writing in November.  No worry though, it comes out for Netflix in January and I already have it on order!  I took my mom to see Thor:  Ragnorok last week, and she loved it for the brawny Thor character and the powerful women it depicted.  She didn’t get the mythology and back-story, but I loved it all.  On New Year’s Eve, my sweetheart and I saw Star Wars: The Last Jedi.  It was a great movie!  We were in a theater with reclining seats, and I had drank a hot toddy with dinner; that may have been a mistake, but anyway, I got the gist of the movie, and I enjoyed it.  On the homefront, I have had time for Netflix and my ongoing obsession with Haven.  Audrey has come back again!  Seriously, I love this show, but my favorite was when everyone in town thought it was Christmas in July all brought about by a snow globe.  That one definitely had a Stephen King feel to it.  I’ve also already seen all of Season 2 of Glitch.  There seem to be plot holes galore, maybe because they’re saving things for the next season,  but the setting and the whole idea of second chances is quite intriguing.  I also hear there are more Black Mirror episodes.  That one really makes me think.  I have to be ready when I watch it.

Truly, I do look forward to warmer weather.  My dog can’t even enjoy his walks these days.  He does his business, then turns back toward the house.  I owe him a dog park visit come warmer weather!  Being indoors a lot, I am reading too:  still reading Outlander, the Fiery Cross, alternating between Kindle and Audiobook.  It is so long.   I’m over halfway done though, and I’ll feel very accomplished when I finish! Sometimes I take a break to read one of many books on Indie publishing, marketing, or writing.  Perhaps my word for 2019 will be Focus!  Nah, too soon to decide that.

Thanks for visiting my Weekend Coffee Share!  You may read other coffee shares and/or submit your own at https://eclecticali.wordpress.com/2018/01/05/weekendcoffeeshare-the-library-was-loud-and-this-weekend-will-be-quiet/   clicking the blue frog icon to enter yours.

That’s the gist of my week.  How was your week?

 

Stream of Consciousness…Nov. 2017

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One idea after the other has flooded into my head today and I am not able to act upon a single one in completion.  Yet, that’s okay.  My brain is working, and I’m thankful.  I wrote an added chapter to my work in progress which

has opened doors and avenues for more ideas….

 

I met with friends who inspire me and nurture my brain, as we talk on one topic and then another which leads to even another.  Then, we decide on a general time frame for our next meet, all of which enriches my soul.

It is comforting to know there are many more ideas waiting to come to life when this current goal comes to its fruition.

To my delight, my doctor’s visit today included discussion about Quentin Tarantino movies.  Dark and disturbing, but nothing I’d walk out on.  Darkness lives among us.  We cannot run from it, but we can try to shine our light into its corners.  I also tend to take a muscle relaxer when it creeps up on me like some of those Tarantino scenes…They creep up on you and blow up immediately.  Case in point:  The Hateful Eight.

There is awe-inspiring literature still to be discovered, and though I am in between books, I am once again teaching the wonderful novel by Walter Dean Myers, titled Bad Boy.  At the heart of it is his struggle for identity, his longing to be a writer like Shelly or Byron, existing right beside his love for ‘playing ball’ and his increasing awareness that race and his place in society (back in his time) may not fit with his desire to write like Yeats.  His struggle for identity touches me.  Portions of this novel are very dark, but I can say that I have been there.  I went through that.  It had nothing to do with race, but more with my place in society, living in a mobile home park with a divorced mother who worked very hard to make ends meet.  Living with the memories of my dad as an angry alcoholic and later, talking with him on the phone, a converted stranger trying to get to know me as a sober dad, long-distance.  I never felt college was really within reach until my dad made it clear to me in 12th grade that I really needed to try it, and that he would help.  There were dark days where I trusted no one, lots of awkward social experiences,  days I had lunch alone (before I remembered to take a book everywhere), and bright days when I earned an A in College Algebra because I studied three hours the night before.  When I read of Myers’ dark days, I feel it.  There were times, as a teen, when I was cutting, thinking of suicide, or partying with other lost teens.  It is such a soul-searching venture to dig deeply into this novel.  It also makes me relive some of my son’s teen angst years, all of which is fodder for an entirely separate entry or story.

And then it is time to come back above water.  I know how it ends.  Myers finds his identity and place as a writer.  I am, as an adult, of the mindset that believes there is always hope.  I’ve found my place in society, and I’ve used the dark moments of my life to fuel my writing.  I am still emerging as a writer.  Maybe I’m a fledgling.  I don’t think I’ll ever rest on my laurels.  This makes me feel young, and I pray, pray, pray with all my might that my mental capacities will allow me to spin tales for years to come.

This is what’s on my mind lately.  What’s on yours?